Lately, my son has developed a bad habit. As he is growing at an alarming speed, he has started to think for himself. This, of course, has gotten him into more trouble than usual. Because when he starts to think for himself, it means inevitably that he is going to open his mouth and say something. Now…he’s 6. So this means that he knows absolutely nothing but he knows EVERYTHING. So…this sometimes gets him in a little trouble with the two people who reside in the same house that he does. We are commonly known as his parents.
Now…I’m the oldest son. So I know how this game is played and I kind of understand his thought process. Here is what is happening…he hears something that he is being told. It registers. And then, before he can stop himself, he says something. Depending on her mood…this may or may not be okay with the Mom parent.
I am the Dad parent. I am male. I do not count. It’s the Mom parent that needs to be coddled. At any given time, Christopher knows that I may, or may not, blow a gasket and then he has no shot. So with me, he tiptoes a little more carefully. With Mom, however, he knows that occassionally he will win a battle here or there. So he pushes buttons. Unfortunately, he has let it get out of control. Now he has his finger on the trigger and Mom ain’t playin’ no mo. She’s about had it and he hasn’t figured out why.
So tonight I told him the trade “First Son” secret. It’s not totally a secret. Almost anyone can get away with it. But ESPECIALLY a first born son who is a momma’s boy (like myself). It’s easy and works 90% of the time as long as it’s said non-condescendingly and with sad, lowered eyes. It took me a little time til I had it perfected, but I caught on pretty fast (just ask MY Dad…). It’s 2 words…and it will always give her pause…
It’s that easy. Every now and then, you can fight your battles with your Mother, but when it comes right down to it, if you are a momma’s boy and you want something? “Ok Mom” is gonna get it. You want friends to come over but she says no? “Ok Mom” is gonna make her rethink her decision. Want a new toy that you just saw on television?
“Mom, can I have it?”
“Ok Mom.” And shuffle away slowly.
Oh the sadness. The hurt. EVERY kid on the block will have that toy. EVERY kid will be having fun at school, laughing at Christopher because he doesn’t have that one, perfect, television commercial toy. Will he get it? You bet your butt he will. And why? Because he said, “Ok Mom”. Not “But EVERYONE else has it! I want it, I want it, I want it!!!”
Ok Mom. It’s the greatest vocal return lob in the history of vocabulary. It’s the key to success! Especially for a 6-year old who has sad, blue eyes that a mother loves dearly. And she really just can’t say no…ever.
So don’t fight it, son. You’ll have your way more often than you think. Just remember what Dad told ya…just say “Ok Mom”. And then…Dad will never have to hear about it. And really…that’s all Daddy really wants…