41

So now I’m officially IN my 40’s. I’m not 40 anymore. I’m IN my 40’s. And I’m not sure how I feel about that. I guess I’m fine with it. There’s nothing I can do about it really. I mean…time keeps on tickin’ and I keep getting older. Seems like that’s the way it goes so there’s no use in harping on it. I’m just getting older. And that I’m okay with…I think.

I wish I had some clue to what the future might bring. Like that tv show “FlashForward”. Just a 2 minute & 17 second glimpse to know that I’ll live to see 42. But no one ever really knows. We just keep waking up and living our lives and eventually we find out. We find out what our future brings. What I have learned in my 41 years is that life happens. There’s nothing you can do about it but get to it and face the issues and hope for all the best.

I am a very lucky man. I have all the things many people want. I have a good family, a good home, a good job, good friends. I got it pretty good! And at 41 years old, I couldn’t ask for much more than that. I have plenty of questions that have gone unanswered, but maybe that’s not a bad thing. It’s nice not knowing every little detail about everything…right? Just let it happen and keep the ball rolling.

Anyway…today I’m 41 years old. I’m feeling pretty good about it. And for this year, I hope that I can learn more about myself and pay more attention to the little things. It’s in the little things that we learn who & what we are. I need to pay more attention to those things. And learn to appreciate them as I go.

Aaaaaaand…that’s pretty much it…

Leavin’…On A Jet Plane…

Everyone loves to travel, right? There is a fascination with the whole idea of flying in a plane. Going somewhere new & exciting. Being someplace that isn’t the same place we’ve been every day. But what if it’s your life? What if you spend a huge chunk of your life flying in planes, living in hotel rooms, eating in strange restaurants and sitting at the bar with complete strangers. Does it retain that sense of excitement?

I’m reading Walter Kirn’s “Up In The Air”, which will soon be released as a motion picture starring George Clooney. I haven’t gotten too far into it yet, but I can see where the guy got the idea for the book. It’s all about a man whose job takes him around the world. He travels continuously and is contemplating retirement as soon as he reaches a million miles on his airline of choice. It’s an interesting read because I kind of live that lifestyle. Not to the extent of the main character, of course, but I do my share of air service and I can totally get what the author is saying.

I like travelling. I like being someplace else other than in a cubicle or behind a desk. I like going other places and sampling new restaurants or visiting friends I haven’t seen in years. It’s a unique lifestyle when you travel. And it never seems to get old. However, it can grind you down. Hours spent in an airport, time spent packing, time spent away from family. It has it’s tradeoffs.

I plan on seeing the movie when it hits theatres. I might just go by myself simply because when I travel, I usually go it alone. No friends, no family. It’s usually me and 100 or more people I have never met. Some are friendly, some are disinterested. Some are downright rude. But there always seems to be an story to tell and I have many. Most that sit in my head for a day or so then they drift away, becoming mere after-thoughts, replaced by new adventures. Occasionally I retain one, but for the most part, travelling is a part of my life. It is always the same, but seemingly always different. I love it. And I hope I like the movie. It will be me and 100 or so of my new best friends in the theatre and I’ll wonder what their thoughts are. I’ll hear them discussing as they leave. And then I’ll never see them again. Lonely? Maybe for some. But for a guy like me…it’s perfect.

So if you see me at the airport, sitting huddled in the corner listening to my music or reading a book, you should know that this is what I enjoy. It’s me, myself & I…chillin’ and doing what I do. Nod, say hello and then on we go. Hope your travels are as satisfying as mine and maybe, someday, we’ll meet again!

Turkey Day Turkeys

Of course, when you have a family like mine, there are ALWAYS fun photos to be shared and this year was no exception. Here are some embarrassing pictures from this year’s get-together. I was considering making this “Family Only” access…but then I reconsidered…so for your entertainment I present…Thanksgiving Day Turkey Photos…

Not happy. At all.

Givin’ it the thumbs up!

Mmmmm…bread…

Comatose?

There was a full moon for Thanksgiving.

Uh…hellooooo?

Hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving also!

Top 10 Reasons To Give Thanks

Thanksgiving is a time for remembering. Remembering those you love, remembering those you’ve lost and remembering all of the things that mean something in your life. I have many reasons to be thankful, but there are definitely 10 reasons that stand out in my mind…

10. My job
Because of it, I am who I am. It allows me freedom. It allows me creativity. It has allowed me to see the world and meet some pretty amazing people. I love my job and all that it entails.
I wouldn’t trade it for the world.

9. My home
With the addition of our new kitchen this past summer, our house is more of a home than ever. And as the kids grow, I learn to love all of it’s little nuances. It’s been around for over 60 years and we’ve been in it for a little over 7. We’ve made a lot of changes and have added a couple of children that have given this old home a heartbeat.
I wouldn’t trade it for anything (except possibly a larger master bedroom with a bath).

8. My health
2 years ago I was in the worst pain I have ever been in in my life. Back pain, sciatica and physical therapy visits caused me more anguish than I would like to admit. However now I am recovering and feeling much better (knock on wood). Here’s hoping for a physically active and pain-free  2010 and beyond.

7. My families health
Sure…we’ve had some doctor bills…but comparing our home to some, we have been pretty lucky. My kids are healthy, my wife is healthy and our pets…?
Well…Barkley had that anal gland issue. But we won’t get into that…

6. My friends
Without them, I couldn’t survive. I wish I could express to them how important they are to me and my family. Even those friends who I haven’t seen in years have come back to become a part of my life again (via the world wide web) and it’s been great getting to know them all over again. Without friends, life would be very dark & boring. You make my life a lot more interesting!
Thank you for being a part of my life.

5. My family
There is nothing more important than family and anyone who knows me knows how important my Mom, Dad and my siblings are to me. Even though we have all have things in our lives that keep us busy, we never seem to lose track of each other. As I’ve gotten older, their importance to me has grown and I can’t even express the love I have for each of them.
I can only hope that 2010 holds bigger and better things for each of them!

4. My wife
She deals with me. She loves me. And she keeps my life in perspective. She really has my heart in her hands and, try as I might, I can’t seem to wrestle it back from her. She keeps me focused on being the best person I can be because she is so charitable & loving. It’s a competition I know I can’t win…but I’m gonna keep trying!

3. My son
He is the light of my life. Christopher has worked so hard this year with school, sports and growing up. At age 7 he is developed a strong sense of humor and is the best friend your son could have. He’s the spitting image of me at his age and it’s amazing watching him grow. I can only hope his life continues to be as adventurous and exciting as mine was and I truly think he is on a path to being an amazing man someday.

2. My daughter
If there is one person who has shown me how much I can change, it’s my daughter. Ava has grown physically and mentally so much this year and she is making huge leaps in school and in her overall development. She brings out the kid in me when she wants to play or whenever she simply wants to talk. Everything she does is magic and I can’t help but being swept away by her spell. I know she is going to grow up and not need me as much as she does now. And that is why I am enjoying every second of every day with her.

1. My life
I have truly been blessed. No matter how much I complain or moan, there is no one luckier than I. I am the luckiest man on earth and I know it.

Thank you for reading & Happy Thanksgiving to you & yours.

A Day Without Facebook

Today I am taking the day off from Facebook. Anyone who is my friend on said application knows that I am a consistent “status update” kind of guy. I do it possibly 6-10 times a day. Now you would think that because I update my status so much that I would just Twitter and be done with it. However I find Twitter to be…I dunno…impersonal? All of the people on Facebook are my friends. Not that the few followers I have on Twitter aren’t my friends, but everyone on Facebook who hasn’t hidden me yet are DEFINITELY my friends or coworkers or people that I have met or want to meet or whatever. And I assume that they find my updates to be amusing. And I can be creative on Facebook. I can’t seem to find anything I want to Twitter about because it seems that all of my friends are on Facebook. And even my friends on Twitter know that I don’t tweet(?) that often so they don’t even look for me there anymore (right DL?).

So anyway…today I’m going Facebook-less. And so far I’m not missing it. As a matter of fact, I’m getting a lot done! I’ve done my banking, had some breakfast, set up the Christmas tree, done some packing for the weekend and now I’m gonna write some blogs and then make a trip to the store for some shopping before I get the kiddies from school and then start our Christmas decorating! It’s been nice not updating my status every 30 minutes or so.

But truth be told…I do kinda miss all my friends.

Now…I wonder if they miss me?

A Mind Is A Terrible Thing

Would YOU remember THIS face?

Hey! How are you! Wow…so many years have passed, huh? You look fantastic! Are you married? Kids? What do you do? Where do you live now? Do I remember what? Oh…yeah…THAT incident! How funny that you remember that! Wow…yeah…so many years ago…huh…

Wait a second. Hang on…

Ya know…I have to be the first to admit…I have no idea who you are. Look…please don’t take it personally because I know that I’m not the kind of person who remembers everyone who I have ever crossed paths with. But lately I have had people from my childhood contact me and…uh…I don’t remember them. And I feel like an ass.

I’m gonna be 41 in a month. The last time I can honestly say I remember seeing some of these friends are maybe 30 years ago. And I DO remember moments. Moments like when I would play on the playground at school and me and some other kid in my class had the same “Fonzie” shirt (stupid shirt!). Or the time I got busted in class eating candy because a girl in my class TOLD on me (stupid girl!). Or the time I was at the park and some guy flipped me off from his car and when I flipped him off back he chased me down and threatened to beat the crap out of me…until he figured out I was 7 years younger than he was (stupid guy!). So many fond memories of back in the day…yet the memory of you is not there. Why is that?

At this point, I can’t imagine who else is gonna find me but I have to imagine I won’t remember them either. I don’t know what is going on with me. I can remember a whole slew of worthless crap (need a song from the 80’s? I probably remember it. Wanna know some useless movie knowledge? I can probably get that out of my brainiac archives as well), but when it comes to people who have been in my life and who I spent time with and who I should remember? Nada. I’m drawing a blank.

What is it with the head? How is it possible that I can’t recall some of the people who have “Friended” me on Facebook or who have contacted me through other networking sites. They say the brain can only retain so much information. I imagine it remembers what I want it to remember. It remembers what I enjoy remembering. It is just a muscle…and it has its limitations. Mine definitely has its limits. And mine is limited to about 1980.

So for all those friends who have found me again and who actually remember me…thank you. I certainly appreciate that I made an impression on you and I find it amazing you remember me. But forgive me if my brain has been overloaded through the years and I can’t recall who you are or where I know you from. I’m a partially stunted social idiot and thinks have started to slip. It’s old age, I tell you! Okay…now that I got that out…let’s get back to what we were chatting about…

Uh…

What WERE we chatting about again?

Happy Halloween 2009

Halloween is always a fun night on our street and this year was no exception. We even managed to hit another street other than our own! Both kids practically RAN from house to house, however once Ava’s bag started getting heavy, she slowed down a bit. Here are some photos from the night’s activities. And yes…that IS me in the clown wig. I kinda like it. Maybe that will be my next style! Once my hair grows back, that is…

Gladiator & a Pumpkin Princess

Grab a handful!

Is anybody home?

I knew EVERY piece of candy that Ava got all night long…

Hope you had an awesome Halloween!!!

In My Lifetime…My Mom

Is there anyone more influential in a child’s life than his mother? I think not. And that definitely holds true for me also. A little over 41 years ago, my Mom & Dad adopted me from an adoption agency (no…I wasn’t delivered by raccoon) and I would like to believe that my parents have never regretted that day. If there is one person in my life who has seen me at my best and at my worst, in my best times & in my worst times, it’s my Mom. She has always been my rock, the person I can go to if I ever need a guiding voice. She has seen me through my teenage years when I was gawky and full of teen angst. She has seen me when I’ve been down on myself and when I’m so high I appear cocky. She has seen me get married twice and had one fall to pieces. And she has seen me as a parent, still trying to figure out how to raise two children in a world that is so different from when I was a kid. There are many things to love about my Mom, but the most obvious one is that she loves me…unconditionally. And that is what makes her the most important person in my life.

Today is my Mom’s birthday. 13 years ago she suffered an aneurism. I thought before that incident that she was an amazing woman. And 13 years after, she has shown me how resilient and how spectacular of a person she truly is. Not a day goes by that I don’t think about my Mom…and I love her more today than I ever have because now I see how hard she worked to raise me and it was she that made me the kind of person that I am.

Thanks Mom…for everything. I Love You and Happy Birthday!

Your son,

Alan

The Local Enigma

In the small town where I live, there is a man who I have never been able to talk to. He’s an older gentleman and I see him frequently walking the sidewalks of our town. He sometimes has a cane. Sometimes he carries a backpack. But no matter when I see him, he ALWAYS has a book. And he is usually head down, focused on his book. He never pays me any regard (which I do not believe to be rude. It’s just his way.) but on occasion he has seen me and nodded hello. And that’s it.

So I have to say that my curiosity has been piqued. Who IS this guy? What has he done in his lifetime? Why does he walk & read? Does he have a lot of money (because in MY mind, the guy is a millionaire who got bored with his job and retired and has done nothing but read every book he can get his hands on for the last 20+ years). Why doesn’t he just DRIVE to wherever he’s going and then pull up a bench? What’s up with the cane?

So many questions and so little time. But he is a constant here in my ‘burg and I think it’s kinda cool to have that one enigma walking around, always keeping me curious. I’m sure there are a lot of people who know his story. But I have to say…I kinda like NOT knowing. It’s not that I don’t WANT to know. It just makes him seem so much cooler that I don’t know. Know what I mean?

So keep on walking there, Mr. Book-Reading Walker Guy. Maybe someday we’ll meet and chat and I’ll know your story. But for now…I’ll just give you a slight nod “Hello”, watch you walk on by and remain a stranger. After all…someone who is mysterious and unknown is sometimes much better than someone who has it all out in the open…right?

Waking Ava

Getting up in the morning is hard enough, let alone dealing with my 5-year old. As good as she is, she is a pain in the rump to wake up in the morning. And it is usually my responsibility to drag her (literally) out of bed and get her downstairs. Here is a sequence of how my morning goes…

The Door To Ava’s Room

She’s In There. Do You See Her?

Ava…Time To Get Up. Ava? Hellooooo?

Ava?

So then I have to pick her up and CARRY her downstairs to the couch. I lay her down on the couch just like so…

I then go make her & her brother (who has been waiting patiently) some oatmeal for breakfast while her mother gets her dressed and fixes her hair (which takes 30 seconds for Ava. With Christopher it takes 30 minutes. Don’t ask me why…).

Sleeping while eating. A skill mastered by few…

Christopher, on the other hand, is wide awake.

A pretty fall day in our hood

Off to school we go. I drop Christopher off at his school first and then I drive Ava to her school. We chat about whatever crosses her mind (her teachers, her friends, art, etc) and listen to music. She likes pop music and is very happy if we hear “Fireflies” by Owl City or anything by Gwen Stefani or the Black Eyed Peas on the way to her school. As I drop her off, one of her teachers greets her at the door. “Love you Ava!” I say, as she gets out of the car. “Love you too Daddy…” she says. And without even looking back she heads to school and is gone.

Have a good day, Ava Lou Hoo. I love you!

But waking you up in the morning is the bane of my existence…

Life & How To Live It

You know what I find interesting? Life. Life is interesting. And the reason it’s so interesting is because it can change on a dime. I don’t know about you, but MY life seems to change every single second. My mood swings change, my attitude changes, my outlook changes. Everything hinges on each & every little thing that happens. And it’s complicated and at any given second, it can all come crashing down around me.

I don’t know about you, but one day I find I’m happy & chipper, moody & irritable the next. I’ll be singing songs to my daughter at 8am and then pissed off by 10. It’s a round robin of emotions and my family is caught in the crossfire. It’s made my life somewhat unpredictable and, by all accounts, I don’t think I’m the only one with this kind of problem.

Au contraire…just about everyone I know is. Of all of my friends, we are all going through life changes. Whether its a job that was lost, or a relationship that is faltering, or how our lives have changed with the addition & responsibility of children. I am dealing with with all of these things AND a damaged economy AND lousy healthcare AND trying to pay the bills AND trying to maintain some dignity within myself as I let all of my wants & needs sit in the balance as I try to be all things to everyone. Whether it’s being a father or a husband or a friend. There are pressures swirling all around me and it can be very cumbersome. Not that all of these responsibilities are burdens. On the contrary, these things are what define me. I AM all these things. But sometimes there just doesn’t seem to be an hour in the day where I get any peace. And that is where some of the biggest issues lie.

Life is frail. Relationships are frail. Friendships are frail. Children are frail. And sometimes I’m the bull in the chinastore, plowing my way from one side to the next without any regard to what or who gets hurt. It’s aggravating to have to worry so much about what everyone else needs or thinks. At some point, I think I just don’t care. When life requires THIS much thought, then what’s the point. Then I am simply reacting to things. Reacting to what others’ opinions of me are. Reacting to what others expect of me. Reacting to what society tells me I should expect of my life.

It’s a tightrope. And I walk it everyday. I see everyone reacting to what is happening around us. Every day brings a new complication or a new burden. It’s hard, this life we live, and I’m trying to make it all good. Sometimes it comes in a song on the radio. Sometimes it comes from a good book. Sometimes it comes from my daughter’s laugh. And then there are times when the burden is lifted by a good memory or the possibility of one. All I am looking for is inner peace. And aren’t we all?

I want to be everything to everybody, but that is just not possible. I want to be the best father. Sometimes I’m not. I want to be the best husband, but often times I’m not. I would love to be your best friend, but I realize that I won’t be. But I get up every morning, ready to tackle the day and I get to it. And I live it. And usually it’s all good. But there are times when I feel like there should be more. More than just getting up and rolling through the motions. More than walking on that stupid rope and hoping it all works out in the end.

Life is frail, my friends. Fragile and ready to be broken. But it is one we all share together. And if we live it together, knowing we are all not perfect, it makes life a lot easier to deal with. Being there for one another makes all the difference, as family or friends or neighbors. None of us are perfect…even when we want to be. But we ALL are doing the best we can. And sometimes that is good enough.

Football Finale

A Long Season Ends

The past couple of days, we sat through gorgeous fall temperatures to watch Christopher play in his final 2 football games of the season. The first round his team didn’t play very well and they lost, so the next day they played for 3rd place in their league. They ended up winning that game 22-6 and Christopher had a touchdown and a few tackles. Here are some photos from the games!

Christopher got to ride WITH the police escort!

The Pee Wees cheered the Starters as we headed to the game

The Run On

It was a beautiful night for a game

The cheering section

All Done

Ava, Autumn & The Sun

This is just a picture post. And it speaks for itself. Enjoy…because I know I did…

Ava & Her Pumpkin

Gathering Leaves

Throwing Leaves

The Last Practice

Christopher had his last practice of the season last Thursday. It has been a long season and he has learned so much from his coaches and the other kids on his team. I can’t remember a time when he has been so into sports. He has been playing sports since he was 3, but this was the first time that he was really INTO playing and football is his favorite. So a big thanks to the coaches and here’s to a great Spartans season! The Starter Bowl is Tuesday & Wednesday and I will be there to cheer the team on! Go Spartans!!!

The muddy practice field

Christopher (aka Clayton) waits to play

The coach gets in on the action

Uh…Christopher? Ya gotta get in the stance big guy…

The coach gives them the play

The last team post-practice meeting

BRAINZ…!!!

I KNOW my zombie movies and this guy is NOT in “Night of the Living Dead”

In Entertainment Weekly this week there is a big article counting down from A to Z all you could ever want to know about zombie flicks. My wife was paging through it last night and we got into a discussion about zombie movies. Steph isn’t a big zombie film buff. As a matter of fact, she says she’s only seen 1 zombie ever in her lifetime and that one was the one where they are trapped in a mall.

Me: “Dawn Of The Dead.”

Her: “No. That’s not it. Maybe ‘Night of the Living Dead’?”

Me: “No. That was the original shot in black & white back in the 60’s.”

Her: “Yeah…the one I’ve seen was from the 80’s.”

Me: “If it was shot in a mall, then it was ‘Dawn of the Dead.’ They made another one a few years ago.”

Her: “I don’t think that is it. You got your IPhone? Check it out on the internet.”

Me: “Look…I know zombie movies and ‘Dawn of the Dead’ was set in a mall. It was shot in Pennsylvania somewhere back in the late 70’s. I don’t know where the latest one was shot but I do know that it was set in a mall and all the cast was running from zombies. Did the zombies run in the one you saw?”

Her: “No. Well…I don’t know. But I don’t think it was ‘Dawn of the Dead.’”

Me: *sigh* “Then I dunno…”

Her: “Wait! It was called ‘Night of the Comet!’ That’s it! There were 2 girls and they were shopping at the mall and zombie guys captured them.”

Me: “Uh…yeah…”Night of the Comet” is one of my favorite movies of all-time. Did you know that?”

Her: “Nope. I thought it was ‘Grosse Pointe Blank.”

Me: “Well yeah…that’s true. But ‘Night of the Comet’ is my all-time favorite B-movie from the 80’s. That scene, where they are running from the zombies at the mall? There is a song playing in the background that I’ve been trying to find for years. It’s called “Eyes On You”. Can’t find it anywhere.

Her: “You actually remember the song that is playing in that one scene?”

Me: “Yep. Wanna hear the song that is playing in the end credits? I have it on my IPhone…”

Her: “You are such a geek…”

The End