A year ago, Santa brought Ava an ITouch for Christmas. Since then, she’s taken a LOT of pictures! She definitely loves snapping shots and so…after looking at a few of them…I thought it might be fun to share my daughter’s talents. At the age of 8, she has a flair for the goofy, for sure!
Old Ava
I don’t even wanna know…
Her new doll, Eva
Red!
Cousins!
Needless to say…the girl has some skills! Aaaand a somewhat wacky family…
According to the Mayan calendar, today will be the last day of Earth. 5,125 years come to a close and apparently the Mayans have decided that…well…that’s all we get. HOW this ancient tribe seemingly knows the exact date is not important…what IS important is that we all have our survival gear all ready to go! So…I have packed a life raft, a shovel, some beef jerky and a 12-pack of soda and I’ll be hiding out in my garage all day with my family, our 2 dogs and 2 cats. Should be fun! Here’s hoping whatever happens I can update my Facebook status fast enough. I would hate for the world to end and not be able to fill you in on how it’s going down!
Best of luck and may we all find peace in the hereafter!
THE END…
(until tomorrow)
Facetime brings out the best in me. And so does Ava…
When Dad is away, the family likes to play! Or so the saying goes. This week, I’m in the Quad Cities for the John Deere Classic and as the days have gone by, I’ve been receiving photos from my wife as events happen. It has ranged from having guests spend a few days to…well…here’s some photos to give you some idea of what happens when I hit the road.
Christopher got his haircut
Ava got her haircut
Steph’s friend, Mary, came to visit
Aaaaand we have a new edition to our animal collection!
Needless to say, they’ve had a busy week! Oh well…I can’t say anything. I’ve managed to squeeze in 4 movies during my time here so…ce la vie!
The OLD Home Court…where I won 123 of 124 games…
Lately I’ve been “dabbling” in playing basketball again. Although I haven’t been involved in any 5-on-5 fullcourt pickup games, I have been shooting around and playing some halfcourt games whenever possible. This, obviously, isn’t gonna get me a contract with any NBA teams anytime soon but it’s good exercise and I’ve been watching myself, listening to my body and being careful so as not to hurt myself again. Recently my brother, who is quite the handy man, decided to build a basketball court in the amusement park area of his home called his backyard. He already has a jungle gym, a tool shed, a garden, a swing and who knows what else since the last time I came to visit. The guy can’t just leave his backyard alone….he ALWAYS has to have a project going on. I fully expect, by this time next year, there will be a roller coaster and a Tilt-A-Whirl somewhere out there among all the other things he’s done back there but either way…let’s not get off track…
So lately I’ve been getting text messages. My brother has decided that he wants to take me on in a game of 1-on-1. Last week, when I was in New York with my high school friends, I get THIS text message…
Followed by THIS text message…
Followed by THIS picture…
What this means? I have no idea. Maybe Frank thinks he’s gonna eat me for lunch? Maybe he has really bad gas pains? Maybe he’s yelling at his neighbors that he’s gonna take his ball and go home and they can’t play no mo? I dunno…
Either way…it continues.
So NOW he’s laid down the gauntlet. Oh…I KNOW it’s his home court and I KNOW he THINKS he’s got the upper hand but the real problem is that it’s obvious that he’s been waiting all of his life to beat me at my own game and except for one game about 20 years ago when he hit a fade away jumper while falling out of bounds at my parents’ old house that beat me (I’m pretty sure I had beat him 10 times already that day), Frank has NEVER come close to beating me at 1-on-1. Oh sure…I let him THINK he was in the game but truthfully…I was just playing with him. I mean seriously…you don’t want to devastate the “DREAM”…right? Frank has always owned me on the golf course…NOT the basketball court. So really what he SHOULD have done was build an 18 Hole golf course in his back yard and THEN he MIGHT stand a chance! But after I get THIS text…I’m thinking that maybe he’s jumping the shark a little with this whole “Choo Choo Train” bit…
So my baby brother, who is 10 years younger than me, who has been BRAGGING about schooling me at my own game, who has been telling ME that I should be riding the pine…got beat not only in “PIG” (which is the game I used to play with Christopher when he was 6-years old) but he ALSO got beat at “21″ by our Dad…who is 73? Not that my Dad isn’t qualified to beat my brother at basketball. I mean…the guy is in great shape and golfs every day and I can only HOPE I’m in as good a shape as my Dad is at his age. But…seriously Frank? Dad BEAT you at 21???
Okay…so you’ve been playing basketball with your buddies every day at work. But you work at an IT shop. Ever see “Revenge Of The Nerds?” You gonna go gettin’ all bad ass on me? Texting me and saying how you’re gonna choo-choo all over me? Oh…IT’S ON, BABY brother. You go gettin’ all up in MY face and we shall see how ugly this gets! So I’ll take your choo choo train bet and I’ll raise you on GIANT ass-whippin’! It’s gonna be OLD SKOOL next time I’m in town! We’re talking a beating that will crush that dream of yours and leave you forever scarred! You ain’t never seen a spanking that I’m gonna lay on you! You’ll be wishing you had put in an underground pool by the time I’m done and when that last jumpshot swishes through the net? I fully expect a nice dinner and a movie…courtesy of your wallet.
Oh yeah…and I want a soda and a medium bag of buttered popcorn also.
Chump.
The sport you SHOULD have stuck with. By the way…nice pants…
Tonight we all piled into the station wagon (with the wood siding…remember those days? LOL) and headed out to Ava’s favorite buffet place. The reason she likes it so much? The sushi…of course. And since no one else could decide (I didn’t care, Christopher wasn’t that hungry & Steph just didn’t want to cook), we went with Ava’s gut. And I gotta tell ya…when the girl is hungry for sushi, get outta her way ’cause she had a craving of epic proportions tonight!
So we get to the buffet, order our drinks and Ava takes off. I see her somewhere between the rice and the egg drop soup and she already has 3 or 4 different foods on her plate and she hadn’t even stopped at the sushi bar yet. After filling my plate, I head back to our seats where Christopher and Stephanie are seated and eating. I look around and I kid you not, I see Ava at the sushi bar, literally eating stuffing sushi rolls into her mouth!!! It’s an all-you-can-eat bar! She can go back all she wants but she is EATING AT THE BAR?!?!
So I call out to her and she looks over at me and smiles with her mouth full of sushi roll and I can’t help but laugh at her. What a great kid she is…and what a sense of humor!!! And what a stomach for sushi!!!
After dinner and a quick round of sushi sword fighting, the waiter brought us some fortune cookies and Christopher’s said this…
I’m not sure if this was meant for Christopher or for me but it works either way. I told him he should frame that because honestly…it’s the most truthful fortune cookie I’ve ever seen!
Oh yeah…and here’s what sushi sword fighting looks like…in case you were wondering…
So we got our kids ITouches for Christmas last year and they LOVE them! The only problem is…they have no texting etiquette! So now, I’m CONSTANTLY getting texts and pictures and short videos and just about anything they can throw at me which is fine…except when I’m working and my phone is blowing up with blurry dog pictures and texts like this…
And then there’s Christopher, who gets a little more detailed in his texting but still some of it gets lost in the translation and it drives me a little bit crazy at times…
So there ya have it…the start of communication between myself and my kids. I imagine that this will be the way I talk with them from here on out because Ava has even started texting me when she’s in the living room and I’m in the kitchen! And we ALL know where this heads. Gotta be on your toes at ALL times! LOL
Our elf friend Buddy has paid us a visit this holiday season. And with each passing day he gets a little more comfortable.What started out with him hanging out on our mantle or on a shelf (hence the title “Elf On The Shelf”) has now proceeded to more…engaging…locales around our little home. Here are a few situations that Buddy has found himself in…
First appearance on the tree…
Uh…hanging out with Barkley?
Hey! Get outta that stocking!
Buddy Is Musically Inclined!
Apparently he loves animal crackers…
and marshmallow cream.
Almost a painful situation!
Oh yeah…Buddy is in love…
Needless to say, Buddy has been quite creative in his visits and has found ample opportunity to get himself into a little mischief. Here’s hoping Christmas gets here soon before Buddy & Barbie elope to the Bahamas…
Sorry…I can’t. I’m watching my girlish figure…
So my 43rd birthday came & went with but a whimper. Not a lot to it. I was in Pittsburgh working so I spent 15 hours in a television truck. In Pittsburgh. But it was a balmy 40+ degrees outside so I had THAT going for me.
Aaaaaanyway…
I haven’t been posting much since I’ve been flying & driving all over the country and I’m a little exhausted but I figured that someday my kids might want to go back and read about their dad’s 43rd birthday and they may have some questions. I know I do. But they didn’t have this intranet thing back when MY dad was 43 and I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t have had anything to do with this nonsense anyway. He had 6 kids and 50 acres and a restaurant to take care of. I, on the other hand, don’t. So here are some bits of knowledge that I have picked up along the way that my children (and yourself) may…or probably may not…find useful…
And that’s all I got for now. 43 years all wrapped up in 17 bullet points. Hopefully the next year will continue to find my life on a focused and unhurried path. Buuuut we all know that probably won’t happen. The years are flying by faster and faster and my kids are getting bigger and bigger and eventually…I’ll be playin’ golf everyday like my Dad is now. Kinda looking forward to that actually…
My brother introduced me to these 2 minute snippets of pure entertainment last week while we were hanging out at his house. Not being a “youtube” guy, they slipped under my very shallow radar. But holy crap are they funny?!?! See for yourself…but be aware…there is some vulgar language…
MY FAVORITE RAP BATTLE
MY SECOND FAVORITE RAP BATTLE
And another nicepeter production that had me CRYING laughing. Seriously…funny stuff!
My daughter has a unique sense of humor and has been bitten by the writing bug here lately (wonder where she gets that trait?). So she bought a journal and has been writing about love, God and…well…other topics. Here is one such story…
I truly hope this wasn’t “The End” of this love affair! LOL! As for the handwriting and the gaffes, I will defend my daughter by saying she really has very nice handwriting and is doing great in her spelling class. So this leaves me to believe that this particular story was doomed from the very beginning and was headed for the trash bin.
I dunno about you…but I’m glad Steph found it! Hahahahahahahaha!!!!
So today I went with Ava & her 2nd grade class to the zoo in a downpour. The weather was crappy the entire 3.5 hours we were there but there WERE a few things that we learned today despite the weather…
1. Never, EVER stick your foot in the gators mouth for a photo moment…
2. Keep your hands behind the fence when waving at trains
3. There are times when the peacock simply wants to be left alone…
4. If you’re gonna jump, don’t second-guess yourself.
5. And lastly…monkeys don’t give a damn. They’re gonna do it anyways.
FOR CRYING OUT LOUD!!! GET A ROOM!
Monkey porn.
I thought the Japanese were more advanced than this…?
First we had Pokeman cards. Then silly bands. Then we had Pfiten necklaces. Then Christopher and all his buddies HAD to have ITouches (talk about a jump in price!). So now I’m imagining that the next big thing is gonna be a laptop or something that costs more than my mortgage and what does he want?
Ball On A Stick.
Literally.
It’s the latest fad from Japan called Kendama. Now…I don’t know about you but I’ve been playing this game since I was a kid but it wasn’t called Kendama. I think it was called…uh…Ball In A Cup? Hell…I don’t know?!? But now the Japanese have put a spin on it and instead of catching the ball in the cup…you catch the ball…on a STICK! Get it? It’s brilliant and the Americans will TOTALLY love it!
Yeesh.
So now all the boys in Christopher’s class are playing this game and now he HAS to have one!!! “Oh please, pretty please, may I PLEEEEEEASE have a Ball On A Stick? It’s ONLY $20 and I’ll pay you back and PLEASE?!?!?!” PLEASE?!?!
$20 huh?
Conisdering the next step up was an IPad for $500, I think I’ll consider myself lucky and get the kid 2. Can’t wait til the pet rock makes IT’S reappearance…
The NEXT BIG THING!!!
So our little terrier mix has gotten her girlie parts removed and needless to say, the post-op incision has not been fun for her. She’s such an active little puppy that the stitches have come loose, she’s chewed on them, we’ve had to have them “glued” and even with her cone on, she STILL manages to itch at them. She’s supposed to get them out this week but I have to imagine this entire event has been somewhat of a frustration for her. We’ve tried to keep her at minimal energy but when all she wants to do is run & play, it gets kind of difficult. I wish I had HALF of her energy! For her art class assignment, Ava was to write a paper to someone she wished she could talk to. She chose Stella. Here is her attempt at getting Stella to lay low a little bit…
Pretty! Right?
Summer is the best time to get to know your yard. We plant and we seed and we tend and we try our best to keep our yards manicured and conditioned and seeded and watered and after all is said and done?
Weeds.
You have to understand that I understand weeds. I mean…here is the villain of the plant community. The outcast. Trying to grow in places where he is not welcome and so he’s just trying to get out into the world and make his life a little better. Can’t fault the little guy for that…right? So who’s to say that weeds are evil?
I took the time to look it up (on Dictionary.com, of course) and the description of a “weed” is this…
1. a valueless plant growing wild, especially one that grows on cultivated ground to the exclusion or injury of the desired crop.
2. any undesirable or troublesome plant, especially one that grows profusely where it is not wanted.
So let me get this straight. In order to be considered a “weed,” the plant only has to be undesirable? Let’s say I have a bunch of petunias in my front yard and around April they grow and the petals open up and they look all pretty and such and then one day…DUH DUH DUH…the ugly weed decides to rear it’s ugly head and manages to grow somewhere in the center of the flowers and because of this he is considered the evil cousin of the beautiful tulip? And because of his ugliness we seek to destroy him, ripping him out of the ground or spraying him with a chemical that would melt the face off of a small animal?
And all because he’s “undesirable?”
Well then…I’m changing my opinion of the weed then because I’m ALWAYS down for the underdog and here’s the way I see it…
The weed, as ugly as he may be, is the strongest plant of ALL the plants. Think about it…not only does he grow in places that no one would dare plant a tulip, but he THRIVES under all conditions and continues to grow even after being ripped from the ground (and I should know because I’ve been ripping these %#$^$* sons a b%$#^& out ALL FREAKIN’ SUMMER AND THEY WON’T DIE!!!!!!!)…ehem…
or having been sprayed with vile weed killer chemicals (which I’ve also done and it doesn’t seem to matter because the god$%#&$& thing WON’T DIE EVER!!!!!!!!).
…Sorry ’bout that…
Anyway…so I have an all new opinion about weeds. Actually…I’m rethinking my entire garden structure at this point. Seriously…why bother with all these other plants that need to be tended to and babied and watered every day and have to be coddled and sprayed with plant food and so on & so forth. Why not praise the mighty weed for what he has accomplished? Like crabgrass? This stuff grows EVERYWHERE. Not just in the plant beds but on the patio and in the concrete and in the gravel. You find me a piece of earth and I’ll be damned if crabgrass won’t grow there! Or how about the dandelion. Oh the dandelion…such a small beauty. So pretty with it’s yellow plume, sticking it’s head out of the grass, hoping to be loved by some small boy who picks it to give to his mother in hopes that she’ll buy him that new toy that he wants. And don’t forget the white, fuzzy weeds that you can pick and blow and they scatter into the wind, seeking other lawns to populate with a new crop of weeds. I’m sure your neighbors will thank you later!
So let’s not disregard the weed.
Seriously…if it’s working this hard to survive, ya gotta give it credit. I mean…if an alien race were to come down out of the sky and land in my yard and see me in my backyard and decide…”Ick. What is THAT? I must destroy it!” and then picks me up and rips my head off, I ain’t coming back folks. But not weeds! Those little mother%$#&% just keep right on growing and growing and it doesn’t matter how many I pick or spray or kick or dig them out of the ground, they just keep right on growing right back and not only that those little %$#&$ MULTIPLY and then my ENTIRE YARD is covered in crabgrass/dandelions/weeds/little white blowy thingies and DAMMIT I JUST WANT MY YARD TO LOOK AS GOOD AS MY NEIGHBORS YARD ACROSS THE STREET!!!! I SWEAR…IS THAT SO %$#$& WRONG?!?!?
*sigh*
I give up. You win weed. Here’s hoping there’s a nice, long winter ahead and then I won’t have to worry about you for maybe 5 or 6 months. But I know you. You’ll be back.
I hate you weed. But you sure are a persistent SOB…I’ll give you that.
