I mean…for me, being a father is the single most important thing I have ever done. I can’t think of any one single thing that I could ever do that is more important than me being a good dad for my kids. It’s why I’m here. In the grand scheme of things, giving my kids the best home that they can have is the highest priority of anything else I do. This means being there to help them when they need it. Being there to love them when they need it. It means being as supportive as I can, guiding them through their early life, allowing them to make mistakes but keeping the fallout to a minimum so as not to destroy their confidence.

I read about how important a father figure is in a family. You always hear the horror stories of children raised in fatherless families. It’s a tough gig, being a dad. I know there have been times that I’ve wanted to run screaming because there is a lot of pressure in this job! And it’s not like it used to be where the dad is the head of the family who works all day, comes home, eats dinner, reads the paper and calls it a night. That doesn’t happen anymore. This gig has expanded to include helping with household chores, putting the kids to bed, taking junior to baseball practice, making sure mom gets to her hair appointment on time, volunteering free time for football games, etc and so forth. So now there is always the side that says, “Well a mother has to….(insert list here)” and they’d be right. Being a mom is THE toughest gig on the planet, no doubt about it. But we all recognize that. Being a good father often times goes unnoticed. We sit in Mom’s shadow, keeping quiet, watching and waiting. We wait for the moment when a son wants to throw a ball or when a daughter wants to do our hair. We wait for when a knee gets scratched and mom’s not home. We wait for when there’s no milk in the house so we can make a dash for the grocery. We wait and we learn and we try to be the best we can be without becoming intrusive. And now that I’m a father…I realize it’s time to give my Dad some credit.

Sometimes being a dad is a tough gig. As far as nurturing goes, nothing can replace mom. She is the butter on the bread. However, I would like to think a dad plays an important role in many other ways that a mother cannot. Despite the fact that I’ve always said that I am a momma’s boy, I watch my Dad today and I listen to how he talks, how he thinks and who he is as a person and I realize just how much of him is who I am. The way he is taught me how to be respectful, how to handle the pressure of being a man, how to be aware of my surroundings and know when I need to step up my game. The way he is has taught me how to be a better person, not just a better father, and for that I can never thank him enough. My Dad has always been supportive (he came to every game), encouraging (as in THIS situation that I wrote about a few years ago) and protective. He is the greatest man a growing boy could have asked for as a father and I think it’s high time I paid him his due.

So here I go…

Dad, I would like to thank you for being there for me all of my life. 44 years in and never once have you let me down. I just want to say that I appreciate all that you have given me. From you I get my conscience, my confidence, my integrity and a vision of what it takes to be a great father. I have a good head on my shoulders and a sense of responsibility. I just want to thank you for that and when I see how far I’ve come down this path of life and how well all the other kids in our family are doing, all I can say is…you did a great job! Happy Father’s Day, Dad! Looking forward to seeing you next week!

-Your son

On the flip side, Ava is beginning a new sport as she joined the Beechwood Swim Club 8U swim team this summer. The ‘Cudas have only been practicing for 2 weeks and last night they had their first meet at Bluegrass Swim Club. Ava swam in 4 heats where she did well in all of them considering she is a first-timer! The highlight was her big win in her favorite form, the breast stroke, where she beat 3 other girls and won the gold! Oh wait…no gold medals THIS time. But we are looking forward to seeing her competitive nature shine in later meets. When I told her she had come in last in the freestyle, she was not happy. I think we might have a swimmer on our hands here!

Time to pack it up, right?

Well…not this day! The Bulldogs scrapped back, scoring 3 runs in the 2nd inning. Then allowing a run. Then hammering in 6 runs to cut the lead to 1. Then the Ignite scored 2 more runs in the bottom of the 5th. In the top of the 6th inning, the Bulldogs had opportunities but the Ignite made some good plays, stopping the Dawgs run and ending the game with a 12-11 score.

So the Bulldogs lost. Just another game among what seems like hundreds of games, right? Well…that might be true but there was something different about this game for our kids. To say it has been a rough season would be an understatement. There have been growing pains, getting used to playing together, getting used to the coaches. So this team has only managed to win 3 games this summer. This game was different because, despite the big deficit, they fought back. They worked hard. They were patient at the plate and took good swings. They worked hard on defense, making some game-changing plays in the field that swayed the game into their favor. And despite all of this, they still lost. But there was a lesson to be learned in this particular loss.

The lesson is this…you can’t win EVERY game. It’s not expected and a win is certainly not a given, no matter how good you think you are. You will get beaten and, in some cases, it won’t be pretty. It will be an assault on your ego. It will make you unsure and it will bruise your confidence. But the fact of the matter is, you are defined by how you react AFTER something like this happens. If you have a bad game, the best thing you can do is look past it and work harder. The easy thing to do would be to throw your hands up and accept it. On this day, these 12 boys didn’t do that. They worked hard and they battled back. 9 runs down out of the gate and they didn’t quit. As a parent, that’s really the lesson that you hope they learn from playing ANY sport. Don’t give up and good things happen. Stand up straight, put on your glove and finish the game. Sometimes the spectacular comeback win doesn’t happen. Sometimes you don’t hit the grand slam home run that could’ve won the game. Sometimes, you get a 3-run RBI, sometimes you strikeout. But either way, if you fight hard and comeback against great odds, THAT says something about you and last night, we learned a lot about our boys and our team.

Yesterday our Bulldogs lost a great game against a strong opponent. Of all of the losses this season, despite the fact that the scoreboard had us on the losing end, this one was a win. On this night, our boys stood up straight, put on their gloves and went to work. And I couldn’t have been prouder of all of them.

Losing a friend is always difficult. Losing 6 is next to excruciating and this week, our family lost 6 of our dearest friends to Denver, Colorado. My best bud Shayne took a job that relocated he and his family to the mountain time zone this week and we are already feeling the repercussions of the hole that they have left. No longer will our kids be able to play together at any given time. I won’t have the luxury of having a great friend in my backyard to sit and have a cold brew with. No longer will we have our summer filled with cookouts and sharing a laugh or 5. The empty house that they have left has also left a hole in our hearts and I think I can speak for my entire family when I say that they will be missed dearly. Despite the fact that their oldest was a grade behind Christopher, he and Anthony are best buds and the younger siblings were ALWAYS welcome to come over and have a popsicle or a juice box (or in Izzie’s case…maybe some fruit, or a sandwich, or maybe some pizza…).

To tell some of the stories would take to long however I will shorten them by simply stating a few good ones…Las Vegas, going canoeing, the 25th class reunion, the anniversary bus, karaoke, football games, sledding in the snow, playing basketball in the backyard and chatting over the fence. No one else will understand but our families always will and we will always remember those times and many more.

We will miss them all dearly and we can only hope that they are accepted in Denver with open arms. At the same time, we want them to know that they will be missed here and if they ever return, we’d love to see them move right back to our little neighborhood so that we can pick up right where we left off. Best of luck in Denver to the Estrada clan! However I gotta tell you…on a selfish level…I hope they hate it and come rushing right back to where they belong…

HAD to put this one in there…LOL

So the school year has ended and summer has begun. With summer comes fun afternoons at the pool, baseball games and hanging out time with friends & family. But before we get into the heat of June, I’d like to take a moment and note some of the accolades my kids received at school this year.

Firstly, Christopher had a great year as he posted all A’s & B’s and received a certificate and a pin rewarding him for his achievements. He also was also the recipient of citizenship award. Despite the fact that I’m not exactly sure what the award means, I imagine it is in recognition of Fer’s happy demeanor and love of all of his classmates.

Secondly, Ava did excellent this year as well and is TOTALLY looking forward to the challenges of 4th grade! She received an award for her creative writing skill (which she obviously got from her father’s side) and, despite not having an A-F grading system in her grade level, she managed to squeak by with an excellent report card. I had to chuckle at her award simply because she displays so much interest in not only writing but the arts as well and can be found constantly drawing and coloring! I see her as a young Picasso….with a touch of Van Gogh.

Congratulations to both of my kids for a job well done this year! I always tell them…they only have 1 responsibility and that’s to get good grades. They accomplished that and much more this year. I am extremely proud of them both!

They have NO IDEA how good they got it…right Grandma???

Recently there was a great post circulating on the Facebook that said exactly what I’ve been thinking (and in some cases…saying…) to my kids recently. It’s a terrible thing when you realize that you have turned into your parents but…when the check starts coming to you at a table of 8, you realize that you are the oldest one there and everyone knows it! Here’s the post…which I HAD to repost simply because…well…it’s ALL true and I couldn’t say it any better. Kudos to whoever wrote it!

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning…. Uphill… Barefoot… BOTH ways…yadda, yadda, yadda

See! That’s exactly what I’m talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You’re spoiled rotten! You guys wouldn’t have lasted five minutes back in 1970 or any time before!

This writer speaks THE TRUTH! And back in MY day we would have just REALLY just laughed…not LOL!

During those 2 years, I spent a lot of time hanging out at the college, whether in the lobby, classroom or in the production studios. Often times, I would find myself with a group of friends, hanging out in the radio production booth, listening to records and just enjoying the free time that I had. Obviously, as life goes on, “just hanging out” time seems to be in the distant past and so today I decided to go back to OUZ while I was in my hometown to see how much things had changed and you know what? They hadn’t changed all that much.

Oh…there was a computer room with editing stations that had taken the place of where the old WOUZ radio station used to be, but that was about it. The old production studios are still intact and the tv studio is still there. A lot of memories came rushing back as I chatted with one of the professors who was in doing some extra work for his classes. I’d like to thank Mr. Savage for giving me a tour (I’m sure he probably thought I was a nut job at first, as I was wandering around the deserted hallways on a Thursday afternoon) and listening to me reminisce about my college days. We both share a love of music (he teaches a class on rock n roll this summer which seems like a dream job to me) and he walked me from studio to studio, chuckling every time I had a story about each piece of equipment. It’s pretty cool that things aren’t much different from when I was there however I was also a little sad. With so many changes in technology, I would have thought certain things would have been different by now but that’s not for me to say, I suppose. For an hour or so I was transported back in time and it was certainly a trip down memory lane.

The old album stacks. Vinyl is COMING BACK!!!

The old recording booth where we would spend so much time

The television production studio cameras

The Control Room

A Grass Valley Switcher from 1985

An editing station…for reals.

Does this picture make me look fat?

My point is this…I am overweight. I weighed in at the doctor’s office the other day at 208. Now for some that might be ok. But I’m 5’11″, in my 40′s and I get very little exercise because…well…mostly because I’m lazy and don’t want to try and force it into my day.

But here’s the thing. Lately I’ve been feeling sluggish. Granted, I was dealing with sciatic pain shooting down my leg, but still…I haven’t been myself at all. Normally I’m pretty good about remembering certain things, especially if it’s something I find interesting or important. Lately? Not so much. Oh I could blame it on all the work or the travel or the appointments but let’s be honest here…I’m just kinda lazy. In MY mind, I WANT to blame all these things but it all comes down to the complete and honest fact that I just plain lost interest in exercise about…oh…maybe 5 years ago.

But now, after my steroid epidural injection on Tuesday, I have been turning over a new leaf. I’ve been eating healthier, exercising in various ways every day (mostly through walking or working around my house) and trying to sleep a little better. With leg pain, I would find myself waking up at all hours of the night, struggling to get comfortable. Now, with my leg feeling much better, I’m sleeping more soundly and thusly (can I use that here? It seems appropriate enough) I am more aware of what is going on in my life. And here’s what has been going on this week…

NOTHING.

And it has been awesome! No work, no hurrying around, no checklist of things that HAVE to be done. Not saying I’ve been lazy, because I haven’t. I’ve had work to do around here and I’ve had the time to do them all in my own time. The kids have had to be places and I’ve taken them. But there hasn’t been an overwhelming sense that my life is completely out of control. And I think that is my problem. In my nature, I am not lazy. Quite the opposite, in fact. I like moving around and doing stuff. The problem is when all the stuff becomes so piled high that I think I start to shut down and don’t want to do anything except wake up, go to work, get done with work and go to bed. It’s a vicious cycle and it can wear anybody down after a while. Life is like that, I imagine. So many things are out of our control but we are forced to face ALL of them, whether we want to or not. In my case, this week I have been facing my health. I’m not happy with myself for getting this way and at 208 pounds, I’m pretty sure I can do better than that!

So I am working on getting better. I hope to continue what I’m doing all summer long. Very little travel allows me time to walk around my neighborhood, see my neighbors, hang with my wife and kids and develop an overall sense of how my life should be. Life is wonderful…and I need to keep that in perspective. So…I’m eating a salad, cottage cheese and tomato slices for lunch. I am pretty sure that is much healthier than a cheeseburger and fries from Fast Food Store #1. I walked my dog this morning at a brisk pace for maybe 2 miles or more. Pretty sure that’s better than sitting on an airplane for 3 hours. Tonight I’ll be traveling to Columbus with our friends as our kids compete in a baseball tournament. I believe that is better than sitting through ANOTHER Reds rain delay. So, as you can see, life IS better right now and I plan on continuing this for the entire summer. This is the summer of me. Time to get on it and make my life better. So have a sip of that Kool Aid and wish me luck! I gotta lose 15 pounds by September! I think I can do that actually…

If you’ve ever played sports, you know what I’m talking about when I mention “The Sweet Spot.” In baseball, it’s that place on the bat where, once the ball hits it, you know it’s out of the park. In basketball, it’s the place on the court where you can’t miss. In football…uh….well…I dunno what sweet spot means for football. I imagine there are plenty of sports that coin the term “sweet spot” into the vernacular and so you get the idea. But in life, where is YOUR sweet spot.

Every year, I get crazy busy from February through most of April into May. Every year, I find myself running from place to place, airport to airport, location to location, hotel to hotel, and every year, sometime in May, it comes to a screeching halt and then? I find myself in a state of panic. NO MORE WORK??? NO MORE RUNNING? WHAT DO I DO WITH MYSELF???

Well…I look for my sweet spot.

It’s hard to explain because honestly? I’m not sure if even I understand my mindset. It’s not easy going from mach 5 to a screeching halt. It’s kind of disconcerting actually and so when I do find that I have downtime, and I do find that I can sit back and relax a little bit, you’ll have to pardon me if I feel a little puckered. I’m a little edgy at first, not really sure of my state. This week, I had some house stuff to get done, a little bit of organizing to do and a visit to the doctor that kept me busy. The idea of feeling better has been on my mind quite a bit lately. The pain radiating down my leg has been a constant irritation for over a month now and it was time to get it fixed. Yesterday I went in for a spinal steroid injection. It was painful and not a pleasant experience. But immediately following, I had a moment of clarity.

I need to get healthy in not only a physical way, but a mental way as well. Every year I do this to myself where I come off the road and I’m more mentally exhausted than I am physically. The physical part of it I get. I mean…I’m a big SEE FOOD guy. If I see it, I eat it. This, obviously, is NOT the best way to stay healthy. I’m not a gym rat. I tried that and hated it. I can’t play basketball anymore due to this nagging back issue, so I have that I’m dealing with. So I have to find something that works for me to help me get into a little bit of shape. I figure I’m 44. I’m not dead yet. I need to start thinking of my body as more of a temple than a bottomless food pit.

The MENTAL aspect of not working every day in some way is more of a drag than I probably let people believe. I go from place to place, work, work, work, and never seem to stop. Last year was even worse for that. Between 2 football games a week for NFL Net and CBS, my entire fall and winter months are a complete blur. Basketball season is always a busy time and then you get into the NCAA tournament, add in some golf events, throw in some baseball games and VOILA! I just blew through 8 months of my life and my head is on fire. Granted, I did take a 5 day respite in Destin for some fun time with the family and our friends, but even that seemed rushed considered I had that sandwiched between the NCAA semifinals and the Masters, 2 HUGE events where there is probably more pressure there than I lead everyone to believe.

So now I’m sitting on my back porch. Yesterday I got the epidural and my back is feeling MUCH better (thank you) and I took a long walk with Stella this morning, rocked some 80′s tunes in my ear buds and I am trying to find my sweet spot. There’s a cool breeze, the sun is smiling and life has slowed down a little bit. It’s nice to just sit and watch the planes fly overhead, listen to the birds and think about nothing, if only for a few minutes. Clarity is not something that comes easily to me. Most of the time, my head is a jumbled mess of directions and numbers and worry. But for today, I’m letting that all go. Today I have found a sweet spot and I think I’m just gonna sit here and soak that up.

What would life be like without our Moms? It doesn’t matter really if your mother is with you or not, there is always a piece of her inside of who you are. In my case, my mother was instrumental in me becoming the man I am today. She gave me a great life and I hope that she understands how much she means to me. The mother of my children, my wife and partner, is also a very important cog in my life. She has been a terrific mother for our 2 children and has managed to teach me a thing or two about life and how to live it. I can’t imagine being with someone who is a better mother, friend and partner than she is.

Here is a little video I put together for her. Time has just flown by over the last 11 years and I wish there were a way to slow it down. So many times I return home from a road trip and find that my kids are a little more grown up than they were when I left. The clock manages to continue to tick away when I’m gone and there are moments that I wish I could bottle up and keep forever. Here are a few that I managed to capture to keep and now I can share with you again.

Thank you for being such a great mother for our kids Stephanie! I love you…and I know they love you more than anything in the world!

Your Husband