The Reason I’m “Unfriending” You

Insert Sarcastic Quote Here

Hello there. It’s been awhile since last we spoke but, due to the emergence of networking sites, you and I have come in contact again after years of seperation. For awhile I thought it was cool that I could see what you were up to, what your thoughts were, what you liked or disliked. But here recently, with all of the political, ecological, religious and outright hateful posts that have been filling up my personal Facebook stream, I’ve decided it’s time to say our goodbyes. I remember when we were kids/teenagers/20-somethings/parents/co-workers and I look back on those times with fondness and I remember the good old days, but here recently, I have come to realize that we are just two completely different people who have grown far apart in our ideology and that’s okay. I mean, we all have our ways of thinking and I respect that! But I figure it’s all for the best if I keep the memory I have of you from “back in the day” than to allow your updates and posts to start to stress me out. It’s not that I don’t respect your thoughts, it’s just that I don’t share the same and in a lot of cases, I find your thoughts to be completely backwards from my own.

I think it is a good thing to hear opposite opinions. It’s contructive and helps shape who I am personally. However after the onslaught of negativity and complete disregard for the feelings of others on networking sites that I use often, I made a pact with myself…get through the election, see if things quiet down, and go from there. So I did. And yet still I find myself getting frustrated with your thoughts and positions on certain subjects. It’s not that they’re opposite of my own, it’s that there seems to be a complete refusal to even consider that others feel differently. So, for this reason, I have decided to “unfriend” you. I’m not mad at you, I’m not frustrated with you, I am simply choosing to keep my personal space and to remember you as you once were. Someday, maybe when I’m in my travels, we might meet again and then we can sit down, have some coffee and have an in-depth conversation about your thoughts on the election, abortion, homosexuality, our nation’s military or any other topic you feel is important however, at this time in my life, I don’t feel social networks are the place to be making statements that can’t be discussed and researched in a constructive manner.

My interest in social networking is strictly for entertainment. Am I happy to have made friends with you again? Absolutely. I have fond memories of our time together. But now I think it best that we part ways again and remember the good times. It’s in the best interest of our friendship and the memories. Humor has always been a huge part of my life. I am sarcastic and open to a fault. At times, this has been a sticking point with me because I use sarcasm and humor to try to get points across. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn’t. Either way, you have some very strong ideals and I can’t argue with those. But let’s face it…I’m not going to change, you’re not going to change, and so with that as a sticking point and with the internet being sometimes hard to navigate when it comes to tone, I say we just move on and not feel badly about it.

Once again, thank you for being my friend. I will remember you fondly and I’m sure that if we are ever in contact again, we can get along nicely without our ideology getting in the way. But for now, as far as social networking goes, I wish to keep my space and as Willy Wonka might say…”Goodbye. Adieu. Aufwiedersehen. Gesundheit. Farewell.”

The Morning News_7.24.2012

I don’t know about you, but MY Facebook friends are going OFF! In some cases, people are discussing in a civilized manner the topics of the past few days. But in other ways, some people are just way outta line and it’s giving me a headache. If you happen to be reading this 5 years from now, here are today’s headlines on July 24, 2012…

Penn State accepted a $60 million fine, a 4-year post-season bowl ban, massive scholarship reductions and a Joe Paterno statue that was in front of the football stadium was taken down. This, in effect, has brought out all kinds of back & forth on whether JoePa has been found guilty without a trial, does the university deserve its sentence, do the students and athletes who have nothing to do with Jerry Sandusky’s molestations deserve to suffer the indignation of something a monster and a few select others covered up? Although I have no ties to Penn State, it saddens me what took place there and I feel so badly for those who are alumni, current students or athletes at that prestigious university . A college is a place for the young to learn and grow. For this kind of thing to happen, it takes away a huge part of what should be the best years of their lives. I can’t even imagine what I would have done if this sort of thing had happened at Ohio University in 1991. We had (and have) our share of issues (our campus was, once again, recently voted the biggest party school in the country) but nothing like what Penn State will suffer over the next decade or more.

Over the past weekend, Aurora, Colorado was the site of one of the most horrific shootings in our country’s history when James Eagan Jones walked into a midnight movie showing of “The Dark Knight Rises” covered in kevlar and killed 12 people and injured 58 others. This has sparked a debate on everything from the death sentence to whether or not the right to carry a firearm should include automatic weapons. It also has become a springboard for bored parents who have decided to take a stance on infants at midnight movies that are PG-13 or worse. What 15 people dying has to do with whether or not a parent brought their kid to sleep through a film is beyond me but I DID get involved in that debate and for my feelings on it, you can go HERE. As for Jones, I don’t get it. Following his story in the news, it appears the guy had a decent life. Regular family, former student at the University of Colorado, everyone said he was quiet but pretty normal so…what happened? Yesterday he appeared in court for the first day of trial. He hasn’t said a word about his motive. What moves a person to doing something so horrific? Did he just snap? Did he plan out this event for months or maybe years? Was he on some kind of medication that caused him to become depressed? WHAT HAPPENED? I want to know! It’s INSANE!

Sally Ride, the first American woman astronaut, has died. She was only 61. June 18, 1983, she was the first female to launch in Challenger. I was 14 years old and I remember that day. She was a hero and I hope that she is never forgotten.

Last week, President Obama made a statement that has oft been quoted as this…”If you’ve got a business, you didn’t build that.” It’s interesting how many people have taken that particular quote and used it against him saying he is misguided and way off track. If you actually READ what he said at a campaign event in Roanoke, VA, the way he has been misquoted is laughable and it’s ridiculous how the news media will take a SINGLE line (and not even an accurate one) and spin it completely out of its context for any given reason. If you REALLY want to know what the President said, GO HERE. As far as I can read, the man is right. As a country, we all rely on one another in some way, shape or form. To think that we do anything on our own is a misconception. Doesn’t matter if you’re the President of the United States or if you’re a blue collar worker. We all need one another to make this great country work. I get what you’re saying, Mr. President. Too bad some saw it as an opportunity to take what I consider to be an honest & truthful statement and twist it into a slap in the face for so many Americans who are working hard to make ends meet.

In news of lesser importance, Mariah Carey is apparently joining the American Idol, Chad Ochocinco has officially changed his name BACK to Chad Johnson and Seattle baseball superstar, Ichiro Suzuki (who has been the face of that franchise for over 12 years) was traded from the Mariners to the Yankees on the same night that they were to start a 3-game series. The Yankees (leading the A.L. East) not only beat the M’s (worst in A.L. West), but Ichiro had a single in his first at-bat.

Oh…and the Reds are leading the N.L. Central, are 16 games over .500, have won 9 of their last 11 games and are winning despite having lost Joey Votto for a few weeks.

I guess there is SOME sunshine in this morning…


Flying high again!

Should I Stay Or Should I Go (Top 10 Networking Sites)?

I’m officially worn out. At first it was MySpace. MySpace was cool because it was my first launch into social networking. Granted…it was originally set up for musicians and bands and then somehow got overtaken by people like me, all setting up our own pages even if we had zero musical talent whatsoever. But then along came Facebook and ever since it has been a literal barrage of sites that claim to be the next…BIG…THING!

And I’ve pretty much signed up for all of them. I’ve gone and jumped off the cliff and it’s too much. And so…I’m giving up. I’m pulling the plug. Not on THIS site obviously because this is more of my own writing and I enjoy writing and I’m hoping someday my kids can go back and read up on their dad and his journeys and opinions and thoughts. They’ll also be able to see how THEY have grown up and how much I love them.

No…I’m giving up on networking sites. Not ALL of them…but enough of them that I thought I would list the Top 10 sites that I am currently on, whether I’m going to stay on them and why or why not I’m staying or going. So here you are…and may the best sites win!

10. Path
For whatever reason, this network is predominantly a phone app. You can upload videos, pictures, tag places you’ve been or list music you’re listening too. I use it enough when I’m on the road and I like the ease of it. Plus…I have yet to see a slew of people bombarding it with posts so…I’M STAYING!

9. Instagram
Oh how I love the pretty pictures and there are obviously some pretty talented people out there who know how to use photography apps to give their photos lots of nifty effects and colors but for the most part…this is a bunch of people I don’t know showing off their editing abilities and quite frankly…I can see MY friends do that on Facebook. I’M OUT!

8. Pinterest
It’s for girls. I’M OUT.

7. Tumblr
Yes…I have a Tumblr account. No…I don’t visit it very often however I CAN post to it from “Path” and I do mostly post pictures there so…I’M STAYING! For now…

6. Twitter
Ya know…I’ve NEVER gotten into Twitter. I guess I’m just too old to understand the appeal. I don’t follow famous people or athletes and I don’t really care about every waking thought that pops into your head so…I’M GONE! But…don’t take it personally…mmmmkay?

5. Google+
I had such high hopes for Google+ and maybe THAT was the problem. It’s NOT Facebook and I don’t have the necessary IQ to understand the “circle” system so…I’M OUT!

4. LinkedIn
Everyone’s favorite resume drop spot, I admit that I probably visit this site more on my IPad than I ever have on my IPhone. And I almost NEVER visit on my computers so I imagine that on the IPad this site will remain one of my more traveled networking sites so…I’M STAYING!

3. Foursquare
I have a Love/Hate relationship with this site. It’s fun when I travel but for whatever reason I find it frustrating when I’m in the same place for work or simply hanging out at home. This is a tough one for me because it DID have some fun elements working for it but I find that Path is replacing it for highlighting where I am (as if anyone cares) so…it is with great sadness that I say ADIOS FOURSQUARE!

2. MySpace
The grand-daddy of them all! It was my initial foray into social networking and I still retain a site even though I visit maybe 2 times a year (for whatever reason). It’s hard to part with what got me going in the first place so I think I’ll keep it around…for those rare times when I’m bored and want to go back to see when the LAST time was that I visited. I’M STAYING!

1. Facebook.
Oh c’mon now. Through update after update, I have hung with this site and it continues to be my most visited and most status heavy networking site. And so it will remain because, quite frankly, almost every person I have EVER come in contact with is a member and I doubt there will ever be another site where everyone joins soooo…FACEBOOK STAYS!

There you have it! I’m not going to take the time to go and delete my accounts. I doubt that is necessary. But if you are attempting to get a hold of me or if you are curious to what I’m up to, odds are…visit Facebook. I may not be on there as much as I used to be but I find that when I have a few minutes and I’m bored, it’s an easy time filler!

Facebook Overload

Somewhere in here is my status update. Good luck finding it…

In the past week, Facebook has gone public and stock for the company started at $38 a share. I happened to be in New York when this went down and I had a few people wondering if I was camping out down in the Financial District, waiting to make my bids. The truth of the matter is…despite the fact that Facebook IS still my go-to form of networking with my friends from pretty much every facet of my life…it’s kind of wearing thin on me. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE posting pithy, snarky comments and perusing the status updates to see what you (or your kids, or your dogs, or your neighbors) are up too, but let’s face it…Facebook, as a simple medium, has become overwrought with WAY too much information.

At any given time within the last couple of years, I have noticed that The Facebook has simply become a springboard for people to spout off their opinions on EVERYTHING ranging from religion to politics to who makes the best hamburger. In the early days of its existence, people were unsure of what to put on status updates, which made for some awkward postings. “Newbies” would simply put how they were feeling today or what their kids were doing. NOW we have long-winded paragraphs on whatever thought has crossed our minds. Sometimes this doesn’t bother me when it’s told in an entertaining fashion. Sometimes, reading a completely misspelled sentence about your love life can be hysterical! But usually, it’s downright maddening how many people just can’t spell…at all. Not that I’ve spelled everything I’ve ever written correctly (because I haven’t) but there are moments when I read something and I have to wonder…what were you doing when you posted? Were you carrying groceries into the house? Swerving through 4 lanes of traffic? Applying makeup…WHILE carrying groceries and swerving through traffic? I don’t know. And I’m starting to realize through political and religious rants that there is a reason we haven’t kept in touch after all these years. I whole-heartedly agree that, as a country, we should be allowed to voice our opinions. However I have to think that it could be done in a more productive fashion (maybe by starting a blog like this one and writing, in concise and educated fashion, WHY you think gay marriage is a bad idea? Or why you think President Obama is the anti-Christ?). But I dunno if Facebook is the best way to be expressing yourself on hot button topics. It’s difficult to get all of your points across and all it usually does is piss off the “Friends” who disagree with you. Thus…Facebook is working in reverse of what it was made to do and that was to bring you back together with your “Friends.” Right?

Here’s my deal with Facebook. I like to know what you’re up too. It’s cool that I can see that a friend that I had lost touch with back in the 4th grade is now enjoying life, has 4 kids and is going fishing this weekend. What ISN’T cool is everyone (including myself)  jamming every article they’ve read, every thought they’ve had in their head or every video they’ve ever seen on YouTube on their Facebook page. I swear…I don’t need all this CRAP cluttering up everything!!! And I blame Facebook for this because it has allowed itself to become and extension of Twitter (which I can’t stand). I don’t mind a selective funny video or an occasional article that sparks some thoughts, but HOLY CRAP! It’s a clutter of information that, quite frankly, makes browsing updates a chore and so…I don’t do it as much anymore. Surprised? Don’t be.

Why am I slowly drifting? Mostly because I have a life. Don’t take this the wrong way because I WANT to care. I like ALL of my Facebook friends however when the medium becomes SO narcissistic and so angry and so completely driven by marketing, it loses its fun. And that’s what Facebook USED to be to me…FUN. Now it’s all about videos and advertising and stupid games (that I will NEVER play…OKAY??? Stop inviting me already!). It’s exhausting and I’m over it. So lately, I’ve been posting a lot less and I will check in from time to time to let you know what I’m up to but, for the most part, unless I have something funny to say, I’ve been staying away as much as possible. It’s just giving me a headache and the load time on my IPhone has slowed to a crawl due to all the software changes. I guess it’s safe to say that Facebook has lost its shine for me and that’s okay because I have other things I need to be doing anyway…like my yard work. Yesterday I posted…

“I have got a LOT of yard work to do today. Anyone wanting to stop by to help me mow/trim/plant or de-weed is MORE than welcome to stop by.”

Sadly…no one came to help. I guess in all the clutter, my update got lost. I should have linked it to THIS article about weeds and how pesticides are affecting the environment. Or how about THIS video…

Now THAT is quality entertainment and obviously Facebook status update worthy…

…Is Updating My Status To “It’s Complicated”

I am, admittedly, a Facebook junkie. Not that I spend endless hours of my day scouring for friends or playing the games (Farmville? Who came up with THAT time suck???), but I spend enough time on there to get myself a reputation. Most of my work friends now consider me to be the “Mayor of Facebook,” or so I’ve been called, and I find that amusing. Truth be told, I’m a status checker and that’s pretty much it. I log on FB on my phone, update my status, check YOUR status updates and then I move on. It literally takes me a minute or two and it isn’t too time consuming. I like it because I can see how all my friends are doing and I don’t have to take up too much of my day finding out how you are or what your thoughts are. However I have found that, as great as FB is for keeping track of all my friends, not all of them are who I remember them to be. Time has come and gone and people change (including myself) and it’s interesting to me too see how different people who I have known in my past are these days.

When we were friends in grade school/high school/college/post-college or whatever (not that we aren’t friends now, but lets be honest…we haven’t spoken in years), you were different. Maybe you were a free-wheeling party crasher. Or maybe you were the quiet kid sitting in the back of the room. Maybe you were the jock or the straight A student. Whatever the case may be, I find it interesting to see your posts now…some 20 years later. I find it fascinating how different we all are. Where we were heading when we were kids has now become the present and everyone has a story to tell. And many times that story is told in pieces on Facebook.

For example…religion. It’s interesting to me how many people that I have known who now profess their religious beliefs on the internet. Not that there is anything wrong with it. Quite frankly, I think the internet needs MORE religion considering the kinds of crap that pops up whenever you Google search something. But I find it interesting how many people quote biblical passages or have become faithful as the years have gone by and who isn’t afraid to say it on Facebook. I can honestly say I can check status updates once a day and see at least 5 people who have posted their love of Christ/Buddha/Yahweh in some shape or form.

I picked religion because it was the most obvious one to me with the “Repost this if you love _____” status updates that I see so often. Is it wrong that I don’t want to post that on my status page? Am I damned to hell if I don’t? I don’t know. Maybe God is a huge Facebook fan and when the time comes and I want to enter the Gates of Heaven he will look at me and say…

“You, Mr. “Mayor Of Facebook,” never once posted that you believe in me. You can go to hell now…” and POOF! The next thing I know I’m sitting on a small patch of scorched land in the middle of a lava ocean.

Or how about the drama kings & queens? I love the dirty laundry that gets aired on FB. Everything from love lost to jobs lost to angry rivalries to mismanaged time, the amount of drama is pretty dramatic on FB. I imagine I fall in this category, always whining about how little time I have and how tired I am with work and such. Even I get a little sick and tired of my “I’m sick & tired” updates!

Then there are my sports fanatic friends (The Sox lost AGAIN???), my traveling work friends (From ATL-CVG-DEN-LAG-BFE in 10 hours or less!), my friends who have regular jobs (Friday is only 4 Days, 22 hours, 23 minutes and 45 seconds away!), my friends that love to list their daily schedule (Woke up, showered, pooped, have to go to work then probably have dinner and call it a day), my friends who are going green (Conserve water! Drink alcohol!), my friends who are critics (“Glee” is the best show ever. That is all.) and the friends who like to re-post every online article they read (Washington Post reports that blah blah blah world economy blah blah blah). Sometimes it can be exhausting following all this stuff! But it’s all in good fun. I hope, as I read one update after the other, that each and every one of my friends, whether from my past, present or future, is having a good life and are simply using the mighty Facebook as an outlet to vent or get out a little frustration. Our lives are so complicated and we are all so over-extended that having a place to “air out a little angst” is not a bad thing. Truth be told, venting is therapeutic and to be able to share our frustrations with the people we assume care about us makes it all worthwhile. The thing is though…our lives are so much bigger than a single line status update. And a lot more complicated! So I try to always take it with a grain of salt…and so should you.

Today my status reads…“Alan Layton has a day of nothing to do. So…uh…hmmm…THIS is different…?

Of course this is totally NOT true. I have thousands of things I need to do. But maybe today I’ll put all that stuff away and truly just relax. Or maybe I’ll decide to make myself useful and clean out my closet. Or maybe I’ll go to a movie. Whatever I decide to do, you’ll be the first to know about it. Because I’m sure I’ll be changing my status in approximately 25 seconds…and counting…

Facebook Wants To Know…

“What’s on your mind?”

Daily I log onto Facebook, the bastion of friendly personality conflicts, dramas and poignant prognostications, and I see this little question and I am forced to ask myself…

“Self…what IS on my mind?”

And I think about it. And I wonder about it. And I roll it around in my head for a few minutes. Sometimes I come up with a thought. Sometimes I have a funny thing to say. Sometimes I find some minutia that is neither important or funny but just seems to fit my moment. But more often than naught, I find myself kind of stumped.

There are several reasons for this, I suppose. I guess truthfully…I’m really not that thoughtful. I read so many status updates that my friends post that are really insightful. Some are religious. Some are poignant. Some are thought-provoking. And generally the best thing I can come up with is the fact that I like to watch “The Andy Griffith Show” (which, don’t get me wrong, is a great show but still…)? It’s ridiculous.

“What’s on your mind?”

Ya know what Facebook? That’s a damn good question. And I’m sorry to say that you have found me in a very sorry state. My life is complicated. I’ve been unfocused. I’ve been neglectful and hurtful and I’ve made some bad decisions. It’s not that I’m a bad person, I don’t think. Actually…I think I’m a good person who has just been juggling too many balls for maybe a little too long. I’ve taken the easy route and turned my back on certain people who are important to me. So now I have to make that all right again. And a simple Facebook status update isn’t gonna cut it for me anymore.

“What’s on your mind?”

I got a LOT on my mind lately actually. As do most of the 697 people who call me friend, family or foe. Every day I log on and I see someone else who has a situation. Someone else who has a friend who needs a prayer. Someone else who hates their job. I think I’m starting to get it, Facebook. I’m coming to a conclusion and maybe I’m a little late to the game but I think I got it…

Life is not as perfect as I would like it to be.

So you wanna know what’s on my mind? Well…I’m tired of being complacent about my situation. I’m tired of the way I feel angry and tired and bitter and embattled in drama. I read and I watch and I see everyones hurt and dissatisfaction. It’s enough that I feel that way too but then to add to that is the fact that I can’t help anyone else when I can’t even help myself. Then I’m just a bystander, someone who would love to help each and every one of them, but I can’t because I got my own issues to deal with. And they can’t be solved by a funny anecdote or a single line of irresponsible texting. This shit is hard and personally I haven’t been dealing well.

But now I have a plan. I have my eyes open and I’m trying to push ahead. I don’t want to make it harder on myself anymore. I don’t want it to hurt anymore. And I don’t want anyone else to find anger or hatred in anything I might have said or done. I have ignored the basic rule which is…”Do unto others as you would have other do unto you.” I haven’t followed that rule and now I get it and I’ll take whatever comes my way.

So…you wanted to know what was on my mind, Facebook? Well…there ya go. My life ain’t all fun and roses. As a matter of fact, my life was spiraling out of control, I just didn’t see it. But now I see what needs to happen and I’m aiming to fix it. We all make mistakes and we all suffer the consequences. Sometimes those mistakes aren’t that important, sometimes they cost us a few bucks, sometimes they are life altering. I’m not sure where my mistakes have left me but I imagine at some point I’ll wake up and I’ll know.It will all be clear…someday.

What will my life be like then? I have no idea. It’s out of my control. But what I CAN do is see what my mistakes are and learn from them. And then I can honestly give you an update that I can be proud of. I can say one way or the other whether or not I’m feeling good or bad, happy or sad, angry or at peace. Right now…I’m kind of in limbo. But I’m working on it and I’m feeling pretty damn good about it. So…when I see that question flashing at me on my computer screen…

“What’s on your mind?”

Well…I guess you’ll know when I know. Or maybe not. As for right this second…I really love “The Andy Griffith Show” if for one simple reason…it reminds me of a time when things weren’t so difficult and every problem could be fixed in 20 minutes or less. It’s not like that anymore, I understand, but damn those days are appealing. So don’t worry about me Facebook. I’m all good. Or, at least, I’m trying to be. And it’s never gonna be perfect but at least my eyes are open a little bit more now and I can say I’m working on my imperfections and I’m very much a work in progress. So what’s on my mind, Facebook friends? Well…

So there ya go.

Facebook Dilemma

These people are NOT my friends. Yet…

As the mayor of Facebook, this week I have an interesting situation that I have never come across and now I am at a crossroad at what I should do. I have a few hundred friends on Facebook (ok…634. But who’s counting?) and I have grown to appreciate what Facebook has done in order to get me back in contact with or to keep me in contact with those friends that I see may see once every 20 years. But here’s the situation…

What if that friend is deceased?

This week is the birthday of one of my Facebook friends who recently passed away. And now I see that his birthday is coming up this week. So….uh….now what do I do?

I mean…I don’t want to “unfriend” him. Because he IS my friend in spirit and I think of him on occasion. But now his Facebook account is mostly his children writing on his wall about how much they miss him and I feel as though I am intruding on a family bereavement that is none of my business.

So what do you think?

Do I unfriend him and move on? Or do I wish him a happy birthday and let his family know I’ve been thinking of him and I hope that he is in a better place now?

I dunno…looking for advice here…

Top 10 Reasons I Love My IPhone

My wife calls it my “girlfriend”. I call it the greatest invention since the Egg McMuffin. It is, quite literally, the best Christmas gift you can possibly give. And here are the 10 reasons why…

10. The Camera
I used to lug my camera everywhere. Yes, the camera took 10 migapixel shots, but how often did I really need a picture that big when shooting my daughter in the backyard? 3 migs is good enough for me and perfect for uploading to Facebook.

9. Facebook & Twitter
Oh the wonders of FB. Through this amazing network, all of my friends (and some I don’t even know) can see my status updates & pictures & stuff. The Facebook app is my favorite networking app, but I also enjoy Le Twitter to chat with friends all over the world!

8. My Calendar
Seriously, if I didn’t have it, I would be lost. I can’t keep track where or what I’m doing today, let alone next week. And you’d be surprised at how often I’m asked, “So…what are ya doing next week?”

7. AOL Radio
When I feel the urge, I fire this little radio app up and TA-DA! Instant radio! And not crappy, FM radio either. It’s really great radio and I can pick whichever format I choose. So a little ambiant to wind me down, a little alternative rock to pick me up, and a little R&B to get me ready for a night out. You name it, AOL Radio has it.

6. Sportacular
Need a score? Got it. Need a player’s stats? Got it. Need a schedule? Got it. Anything you might need for a sports fan, Sportacular has it. I’m sure there are a gazillion apps out there for sports, but it’s my favorite.

5. Tipulator
I am terrible about tipping. Not because I’m cheap (which I am, but it has nothing to do with tipping), but because I’m terrible at figuring out how much someone deserves after serving me food/beer/lapdances (JUST KIDDING HONEY!). It is a valuable commodity also when eating out with friends and trying to tip on a split bill.

4. Movies On The “Big Screen”
The screen size of the IPhone is nice simply because when I watch movies or tv shows on it, I don’t have to squint. It’s large enough that can set it down on the plane and watch it without getting a headache.

3. The IPod
Yes…I own an Ipod. Yes…having my music on my IPhone is no different than the IPod. But its one less thing I have to cart around. And for me, that is important.

2. Bejeweled 2
My favorite game and I have wasted many an hour at the airport, on a plane or in my hotel room playing this simple game. It’s my app to pass the time and I use it probably once every day.

1. The Internet
Where would we be without it? Good question. And with my IPhone I can be on it 24 hours a day. Need to check email? No problem. Need to find a movie theatre? Google Maps. Need to find a movie time? Moviefone. Need to find a place to eat before? Urbanspoon. There are so many applications that run from the internet that without it it’s kind of useless. So having it available whenever I need it is one of the true blessings of technology. And the 3G network thing is not so bad!

There are truly a hundred other things I love about the IPhone. Recently I downloaded a video editing program called “ReelDirector” that is supposed to be cool. And there is also the “Texts From Last Night” app which is hysterical! And the various educational apps I have downloaded so I don’t sound like an idiot when my daughter asks me which planet is the 6th farthest from the sun. I also have 2 fitness apps, Photoshop to tweek my pictures, “Shazam” for when I hear a song in a store and want to know who sings it, my RSS Reader for when my friends update their blogs, “Concerts” to find out where U2 will be playing next, etc, etc….

A Mind Is A Terrible Thing

Would YOU remember THIS face?

Hey! How are you! Wow…so many years have passed, huh? You look fantastic! Are you married? Kids? What do you do? Where do you live now? Do I remember what? Oh…yeah…THAT incident! How funny that you remember that! Wow…yeah…so many years ago…huh…

Wait a second. Hang on…

Ya know…I have to be the first to admit…I have no idea who you are. Look…please don’t take it personally because I know that I’m not the kind of person who remembers everyone who I have ever crossed paths with. But lately I have had people from my childhood contact me and…uh…I don’t remember them. And I feel like an ass.

I’m gonna be 41 in a month. The last time I can honestly say I remember seeing some of these friends are maybe 30 years ago. And I DO remember moments. Moments like when I would play on the playground at school and me and some other kid in my class had the same “Fonzie” shirt (stupid shirt!). Or the time I got busted in class eating candy because a girl in my class TOLD on me (stupid girl!). Or the time I was at the park and some guy flipped me off from his car and when I flipped him off back he chased me down and threatened to beat the crap out of me…until he figured out I was 7 years younger than he was (stupid guy!). So many fond memories of back in the day…yet the memory of you is not there. Why is that?

At this point, I can’t imagine who else is gonna find me but I have to imagine I won’t remember them either. I don’t know what is going on with me. I can remember a whole slew of worthless crap (need a song from the 80′s? I probably remember it. Wanna know some useless movie knowledge? I can probably get that out of my brainiac archives as well), but when it comes to people who have been in my life and who I spent time with and who I should remember? Nada. I’m drawing a blank.

What is it with the head? How is it possible that I can’t recall some of the people who have “Friended” me on Facebook or who have contacted me through other networking sites. They say the brain can only retain so much information. I imagine it remembers what I want it to remember. It remembers what I enjoy remembering. It is just a muscle…and it has its limitations. Mine definitely has its limits. And mine is limited to about 1980.

So for all those friends who have found me again and who actually remember me…thank you. I certainly appreciate that I made an impression on you and I find it amazing you remember me. But forgive me if my brain has been overloaded through the years and I can’t recall who you are or where I know you from. I’m a partially stunted social idiot and thinks have started to slip. It’s old age, I tell you! Okay…now that I got that out…let’s get back to what we were chatting about…

Uh…

What WERE we chatting about again?

Facebook vs Twitter

As all my friends (all 400+ of them. I’m still hunting down a few…but I swear I can’t remember anyone else…) can attest…I’m kind of a Facebook fanatic. I LOVE the Facebook and all it does. From allowing me to make new friends to bringing old friends back into my life, I can’t seem to come up with one bad thing to say about it. It has everything I love in the internet world. It allows me to chat. It allows me to update my status in my own snarky way. It allows me to promote this blog. It allows me to participate in games (which I don’t do. but if I DID want to…I could do it!). I can upload photos. It allows me to throw sheep at people (dunno what THAT is all about). It is just an awesome tool and a great way to stay in contact with people I have either lost touch with or who have busy lives and don’t have the time to sit down chat with me for 2 hours. It’s perfect for a guy like me and I use it to its fullest capacity.

Twitter, on the other hand, I don’t get. Don’t get me wrong…I understand the idea of it. But I don’t get what everyone loves about it. In a nutshell, you can make a 140 letter comment. It is basically like a Facebook status update…but it’s not. It’s usually random thoughts sent out to the internet world with no one particular person in mind. Not that you CAN’T send a message to someone directly (which you can), but of the few people I follow, usually their comments are just random and irrelevent. Some use Twitter the same way I use Facebook…to promote their blogsites. Some use to to chat in a Twitterverse sort of way (I think AIM or even Facebook’s Chat is faster and more personal). Others use Twitter to follow celebrities and their every whimsical thought. I dunno…I guess I just don’t care what Dane Cook is thinking about every second of the day (I tried following him but then deleted him).

Either way you go, there isn’t a right or a wrong. I am just a Facebook person. But who knows…for the longest time I was a Myspace person and then THAT all fell by the waste side (I haven’t even looked at my Myspace page in ages!). So there might be hope for Twitter for me yet. But I wouldn’t bet on it. I don’t have the interest. Not that I don’t like you and all…but random thoughts just aren’t my thing. Unless you’re my friend on Facebook. Then I’ve got all kinds of snarky responses all ready for ya!

You Might Not Know Me But You’re My Friend Anyways…

Do You Know Me?

Lately, I feel like I’ve been spending more time on Facebook & Twitter than I have concentrating on blogging, and I don’t know if that is necessarily a bad thing. I mean…with Facebook I get to see what all of my friends are doing and make quick status updates (usually something snarky or sarcastic). And with Twitter…well…no one really cares so I don’t spend much time on there. But both are a lot easier than writing a blog, where I have to actually set up my thoughts, organize and put a “story” in writing.

The other day on Facebook, I took a couple of “How Well Do You Know Such-n-Such” quizzes and was very disappointed in myself. After answering the 10 stumpers, it turns out I don’t know “my friends” very well at all. So I wanted to apologize to them (they know who they are…probably) for being a terrible friend. And to keep anyone else from feeling this way as well, I figured I would jot down the answers to my quiz for all of my OTHER friends who may take the quiz on me, this way eliminating any bad feelings that the quiz might evoke and we can all walk away from the Facebook experience with our heads held high and a happy feeling in our heart (I have no idea what I am talking about). Anyway…here’s MY “Cheat Sheet”. Use it when appropriate!

1. What color best suits me?
This is an obvious choice if you know me at all, and most everyone who has taken my quiz has gotten it correct. However if you think about it, it’s an easy answer because I have blue eyes…so BLUE is my answer because then everything matches! (Or so I tell my wife. She just thinks I’m lazy and I don’t want to color coordinate…)

2. My favorite alcoholic beverage is…
Sure, I like beer. Beer is great on a summer evening while chatting with friends. But for my true alcoholic love, it has to bring a happy thought into my head everytime I drink it. And nothing evokes better images than the drink I had every second of my honeymoon back in 2000. The pina colada is cool & refreshing and brings back great memories. What more can a person ask for? (Besides a cheap buzz and nausea?)

3. My favorite flavor of ice cream?
Hands down, Graeter’s Raspberry Chocolate Chip. With HUGE pieces of chocolate and the sweetest raspberry ice cream ever. But it is now being tested with a new Graeter’s flavor called “Elena’s Blueberry Pie”, which is downright DELICIOUS!!!

4. How many times have I travelled out of the country?
Surprise! Only twice. Oh sure…I guess it’s true that I have been over the Canadian border a couple of times to Windsor and Montreal. But for the true travel experience, I have only been to London & St. Lucia in the carribean. That’s pretty much it. And I didn’t even need a passport to get me to St. Lucia…so maybe that doesn’t count. I dunno…

5. What is my favorite movie?
If you don’t get this one, then you really don’t know me at all. “Grosse Pointe Blank” has been my favorite movie for about 8 years now. John Cusack, great soundtrack, awesome dialogue. My favorite easily!

6. What is my middle name?
I forgive anyone who missed this one because, quite honestly, middle names are dumb. Not that they aren’t necessary, but if you don’t know that I share “Thomas” with my Dad, I won’t hold it against you…

7. What song would I choose to sing at a karaoke bar?
When choosing to sing a song in public, the first thing I think about are the high notes. ‘Cause I can’t reach them. So then I shoot for something with low notes. And nothing says low notes like “Jet Airliner” by The Steve Miller Band. And to my friends who chose “Close To You”? You are fired…

8. What city was I born in?
Trick question because I was raised in Zanesville, OH. But my parents got me from an adoption agency in Columbus where, apparently, my maternal parents went to school. So Columbus, OH is where I am from originally.

9. Who is my favorite Disney character?
Who cares really? Well…I think the character you pick shows what kind of person you are. So in MY mind, I am forever young. So Peter Pan is my favorite character!

10. At a party, what would I be doing?
The answers are drinking, chatting, sitting in a corner by myself or sleeping. If I’m at a party (which is rare), my wife does all the chatting but I would never be sitting in a corner. I would probably be walking around, sipping a drink and listening to everyone else’s conversations. So drinking is my answer!

So there ya have it. If you’re on Facebook and you are gonna take MY quiz, you now know all the answers! And if you’re NOT my friend on Facebook…um…well….WHY NOT??? Get with the times! Everyone is doing it!

Good Friends, Good Times

Me & Anne now…

and back in the day…

As I travel around, I am lucky that I get to see and hang with good friends from my past, present and future. I get to visit so many different places and cities where, inevitably, there is someone I know living where I am going.

My college friend, Tom, in San Diego (rocking it out in the middle!)

Today I am in Tampa and I had breakfast with a friend that I used to work with. She is 8 months pregnant and we had breakfast at the Crack Whore Barrel this morning. I love being able to see my friends that I wouldn’t normally see if I were to have a desk job somewhere. This works well for me because I work in television, and television people move around a lot. Even if you work at a news station somewhere (which I used to), you keep moving in your early years so that in your later years you can settle someplace where you can pocket some money (good luck in THIS business! But it IS better than radio!), start a family and look ahead to retirement. You wouldn’t  believe how many times I’ve been somewhere, flipped on the evening news and I know the news anchor from someplace else!

Friend & co-worker, Ginger, on in Dallas

In the past 4 months, I’ve seen a college buddy in San Diego, a high school buddy in Chicago and now a former co-worker who was a part of a rowdy band of friends that used to work for a show called “The Daily Buzz”. All of these friends I stay in touch with because of my job. And a lot of them I keep in contact with through Facebook. In the past couple of weeks, I’ve had a lot of friends find me and renew our friendship and I just think its great. Seeing as how I am constantly on a computer and how I don’t get to have a normal social life (I work a lot of weekends), this way of  “keeping up” has worked out well for me. Facebooking and then, if I’m in town, a quick visit and then on to the next gig. It’s great!

My friend from high school, ABC

So today I just wanted to give a shout out to all of my friends who I have gotten to see again or who have renewed my friendship via the world wide web. It’s really cool to see so many of my friends doing well for themselves and who have moved on to be so successful or who are striving to do so much with their lives. Seriously…I am a very lucky person to have so many great friends back in my life! And to my newer friends who I have come to know by this blogsite, I appreciate your friendship as well and maybe someday, you and I can meet for some lunch and a drink! And, for the record…I always buy the first round!

My college friend, Ed, in Seattle 

My best friend, JT, in Memphis

The Power Of The Poke

Quite possibly the WORST album cover EVER! But it works for this blog…

I love Facebook. Because of it I can rattle the cages of many a friend that I have lost track of. I now have EXACTLY 200 friends. Some from high school, some from college, some that I work with, some that I used to work with, some relatives, some ex-girlfriends…WAIT…it’s NOT LIKE THAT! Seriously…THEY found ME (right Kim?). So anyways…I like the fact that so many people that I have known in my lifetime I can now get ahold of just by opening up my little laptop here and powering up and logging on and VOILA! Friends from sea to shining sea!

And lately, I have begun to enjoy “Poke Wars”! If you are not a Facebooker, you have no idea what I’m talking about, so allow me to explain. On Facebook, if you want to let someone know you are thinking about them, you send them a “poke”. It’s like an easier way to say, “Hey! How are ya?” than actually having to sit down and write an email! Poking can be good natured and a nice way to let someone know that you have them in your thoughts. However, now I am finding that “p0king” can also lead to a little bit of internet aggressiveness…and THAT is where “POKE WARS” begins!

I’m all about having friends who are thinking about me…but when I log in and I have the same 15 people poking me EVERY DAY? There’s something up. So I have declared POKE WAR on some of these friends of mine…and I’m NOT backing down! I shall not be the last to poke! I won’t stop poking you if you continue poking me! IT WON’T HAPPEN!!! So YOU, my friend, must stop first! Because I shall continue to poke you until you are blue in the ribs! Seriously…you don’t want to mess with me because I am resilient and I will NEVER surrender! I have seen where this is heading and it ain’t pretty! Before too long, I might have to start sending “hugs” & “kisses” and tossing pigs or lobbing sheep or something (and yes…you CAN do that on Facebook).

So…I now leave it up to you, my Facebook friend. Keep poking me and you’ll see what’s what. But you have been warned…  

Top 10 Reasons Why Facebook ROCKS

No really! I AM that skinny!

Some people are myspace people. Some people are Facebook people. I started out on myspace. Hell…I have 2 myspace pages! But since…oh…I dunno…6 months ago? I have become a full-fledged Facebooker! Now…some people are haters (right Ashley?), but I LOVE me some Facebook! And here is why…

10. I Get To Hug People I Barely Know Or Remember
Who are these people? I dunno…but it’s cool that they remember me! And the hugs are soooooo warm and toasty…

9. Quizzes, Requests And More!
I always “ignore” them…but still…if I ever decide to actually play along, I know they’ll be all kinds of fun!

8. I Can Ignore Anyone I Want
But I don’t. Even YOU can be my friend!

7. Instant Messaging To People I Barely Know Or Remember
Its fun! And slower than AIM…so I can get up, get some snacks and be back before the next IM!

6. I Get To Know What Everyone Is Feeling Immediately After They Felt It (Status Updates)
It’s really great knowing that Tina had a bikini wax today and Smitty is feeling down in the dumps. This gives me MORE ammunition the next time I see them!

5. I Can Be Snarky With My Wife In Front Of Hundreds Of My Friends
But the paybacks CAN be hell…

4. The Little Pictures That Everyone Uses Are Funny!
Remember Little Joey from grade school? Or how about this kitty cat? No? Well then…you don’t know ME very well…do you?!?!

3. All In All I’m Just A…Nother Brick In The Wall
I like writing on your wall. Just be thankful I can’t spray paint penis jokes on it…

2. 2 Words: Poke Back
Look…I’m ticklish ALRIGHT! Now GET OFF ME ALREADY!!!

1. I Can Go “Home” Anytime I Like!
Top of the page, right next to my Profile. And I don’t even need red slippers…

So there ya go! If you aren’t a Facebooker, then you aren’t ANYONE!!! Facebook RULES Y’All!!! Now…go start your account and ADD ME ALREADY!!! I’m waiting…..