The First Of The Best

Yeah, yeah, yeah…I know. The 80′s made us do it!!!

If you’re on Facebook, odds are you are my friend. I’ve made a lot of friends and acquaintances through the years and I can honestly say I have been very lucky to be able to call so many of them my friends. But the fact of the matter is, not unlike so many people my age, there are only so many of my friends now who I truly consider to be my BEST friends. Through the years, I would have to say…after a nationwide tally…I have 14 people I can consider to be my very best friends. They were there when I was a kid, growing up in my small town of McConnelsville, OH. They were there with me through my high school years in Zanesville and my college years. They were with me through my work years in Dayton & Cincinnati. And there is one now who I consider to be my best friend of my adult years. Obviously, not everyone can be your best friend. It takes a qualified person. Someone who gets you in all your glory. Someone who gets you when you’re down. Someone who gets you when you’re an ass. Obviously the one closest to you should be your spouse, and I’m happy to say that she IS one of my best friends. Granted, I drive her completely insane at times however it’s safe to say that if I need to talk about something, Stephanie is always there to listen. But other than her, who are the people who I trust completely? Well…

First and foremost, the reason I’m writing this post is not out of the goodness of my own heart unfortunately. The people who are on the sacred “Best Friends” list ARE my bestest buds however most of them already know this and don’t really need me to post about it. But with that being said, I was told last night that my very first best friend suffered a stroke this week and is in the hospital in Columbus. Mason was the kid next door. He was a year younger than me. But we both had a love for comic books, riding our bikes and exploring in the fields and woods behind my house out on old Airport Road in McConnelsville. We spent a lot of time together in my early years, playing dodgeball with his brothers, listening to records (his brother introduced me to George Carlin and the things you CAN’T say on television) and watching Saturday morning cartoons. His Mom was always giving me food and he had a dog named Major who had a doghouse outside in the backyard and he kind of scared me a little bit.

I remember all of these things in not-so-vivid color but somewhere in the recesses of my mind they all came bubbling up after I received word last night of his stroke. It’s funny how time goes by and you don’t really think about someone until they’re in the hospital. Actually, since the inception of Facebook, Mason and I have been in contact and we play “Hanging With Friends” together. I haven’t seen him in probably 20+ years but I know where he is and what he is up too. But tomorrow I am going to go visit him in the hospital. For the first time since that picture at the top of this post was taken, I will see him in what is probably his worst state and I can’t even begin to say how much that saddens me. Mason is my first best friend and there is nothing that can change that. He was there when we fell in the stream behind our house, got soaked and then both got in trouble for it. He was there when the killer cow charged us as we scampered up a tree in the pasture. He was there when I was too scared to ride the “Spin In A Circle And Get Sick” ride at the county fair. And he was the first to teach me several crude jokes that I can’t even get into here (having older brothers definitely had its advantages!).

He was there for all of it. And now I want to be there for him. I haven’t been around for many years but now I want to see him again. It’s been a long time coming.

As for all my other best friends? I’m going to make more of an effort to see them as much as I can. I plan on having lunch with my high school best friend tomorrow. I haven’t seen Chuck in quite some time (since our last reunion maybe? That’s crazy Chuck!). Next month I’m going to New York with my best friend from college. I see JT a couple times a year if I can and I talk to him whenever he can fit me into his endless stream of conference calls and answering emails. I like to hang with my buddy Newman whenever he can find the time. He lives here in Cincinnati but being a new daddy has its advantages and disadvantages. The “disadvantages” being he doesn’t have much time for himself! But I completely understand this and I know he and I will be hanging out again at some point (although with his wife expecting their first daughter here soon, it might be a little bit longer than I thought! LOL!). I see my “other” wife, Janet, at work quite a bit during the summer months. She has been through a lot in the past few years but she’s an amazing woman and a great friend and I owe her lunch…again…at some point here very soon. Shayne lives in my backyard (actually one street over) and is married to one of my best college friends who has a twin sister who is ALSO a great friend and then he has a brother who is ALSO a great friend but oddly enough, with my work schedule and all of our kids’ schedules, I haven’t seen ANY of them most of this winter. I imagine we’ll be firing up the grill here at some point and things will fall back into place like they always do when dudes get together to eat hamburgers and have a few drinks.

So that’s only 7…right? Well…I DO come from a large family and whenever I truly need a lifeline, I always have my Mom, my Dad, my brother and my 4 sisters to lean on whenever I need an ear to bend. I consider myself truly one of the luckiest guys in the world to have the family that I do and I know if there ever was a time that I needed ANYTHING, they would be there for me. Much the same as I want them to know I am here for them.

So there you go. ALL of my best friends. Some are farther away than others but I consider myself blessed to have them all in my life somehow. And now, I plan on seeing 2 of them tomorrow. One is in the hospital and I can’t wait to see him and I pray for a quick recovery. The other I haven’t seen in a while and THAT needs to change! Overall, this is a fine group of people and I love them all. And to Mason…I hope you have a speedy recovery and a long life. And if you need me? I’m always a phone call (or email) away. Oh…and you were right. Marvel comics ARE better than DC Comics. Just sayin’…

Good For The Soul

23 years later… 

Friendships come in a variety of packaging…especially when you get older. You have your work friends, your neighborhood friends, the friends that you hang with because your kids are friends, drinking friends, shopping friends, etc & so forth. But the friends that I love the most are the friends from my past. Obviously the reason that I have such a fondness for those friends is because we share so many memories. When you have friends from your past you don’t need to fit in…you just do. And when you have great friends that you simply fall in place with even after 23 years have gone by? It’s all the sweeter. This past weekend, I was able to spend a few days in Seattle with 3 people I haven’t seen in quite some time but it was like time had stood still. Not only did we still look the same as we did all those years ago (although some of us have aged better than others [we hate you Chaya]), we still have the same ideals, values and humor that we had growing up.

Reuniting with these 3 people in my favorite city was possibly the most fun I have had in years simply because we fit so well together. Telling stories about when we were young, walking around the city and enjoying a drink here & there all over Seattle (and it usually included a bit of vodka, some hot sauce and a little tomato juice) may not seem like the most exciting weekend to you, but for me it was therapeutic. The weather was fantastic (which is a crapshoot in Seattle), the city was wonderful and the big finale (U2 in concert at Qwest Field) was everything I had hoped it would be! So to say that our little weekend getaway was a success would be a understatement. For me, it was the best possible weekend I could have asked for that didn’t include my family.

JT & I on the field for U2! (Tom & Chaya had seats…in the nosebleeds)

Friends are not necessarily hard to come by…but GREAT friends are. And I would very much consider these 3 people to be my greatest friends. Not having seen Chaya in 23 years, she is still a remarkable woman and an amazing person. If there ever was a woman who is just “one of the guys,” she’s it (except for the fact that she has boobs. But there’s nothing we can do about that). Not having seen Tom in over 5 years, he is still the sensitive, sentimental soul that he has always been and he still laughs at my stupid jokes and sarcasm, even when it’s directed at him (seriously with the dad coat?). And JT is…well…he’s like my brother. If it weren’t for the fact that he’s orange and has the biggest head on the planet we would obviously be twins. Okay…maybe not twins but at least surrogates.

His head is so big it blocked the Market!

There were a lot of stories told (apparently tequila & high school don’t mix), lots of walking and many highlights to our weekend but here are just a few…

• “ALAN! You wanna buy the fockers another round?!?!

Our bartender at Fado (Sinead) had more personality (and more middle fingers) than the rest of us combined!

• JT ordering an Irish chardonnay at Fado (“What the f&%$ is an Irish chardonnay?”)
• Chowing down on some waxed wombat at the Brazilian restaurant, Ipanema.
• Tom “enjoying” the salmon Bloody Mary at Lowell’s at the Market. (Fish flavored alcohol? YUCK!)
• Chaya stating that she couldn’t live in Seattle because they FORCE being “green” on everyone. Seriously with the toilets (half flush for #1, full flush for #2???) and the wastebaskets (Recyclables or Landfill? Gee..which should I choose?)?
• Chaya pulling the trump card on the room with a view. One room had a beautiful view of the Needle, the other had a street view. Wonder which one WE got?
• My “Ed Grimley” hair (“I’m having the most wonderful time, I must say!”)

Ed’s got nuthin’ on me

• At one point I lost them at the EMP so I texted to find out where we they were. I received texts back from Chaya & JT simply saying, “Look behind you.” They couldn’t see me but I looked…several times. Veeeeery funny, you jokers…(I’m so gullible)
• Relaxing at Alki Point.
• Heckling the joggers while having lunch. I hate those healthy people…
• Enjoying “Figs On A Stick” at Safeco Field.

Figs are TASTY! And kinda taste like chocolate-covered strawberries…

Anyway, these 3 people are very much a part of me. Having grown up in the same hometown, having known the same people and shared the same frustrations through the years, it’s obvious to me that there is a reason we are all friends. As I boarded the plane heading home on Sunday, I received a text from Chaya as she headed back to Los Angeles. It simply said…

“I had an awesome weekend. You guys are so good for the soul. Safe travels and talk to you soon.”

I can’t deny I felt a little sad reading it because it meant our great little weekend was over. But the woman was right in her assessment. This past weekend WAS good for the soul. Having friends is an important part of life but having great friends is an important part of who we are. To JT, Tom & Chaya I say…you guys are a part of me. Thank you so much for such an awesome weekend! Let’s do it again sometime sooner than 23 years…mmmmkay?

Today Was A Very Good Day

Seriously…the women ALL swoon…

Let’s start at the beginning for this one, shall we? It was the summer of 1987, Zanesville, OH, post-high school. I decided to go to college at the Ohio University branch in Zaneville. Not Yale, that’s for certain…but it would get me on the right track. So I attended and I got to become good friends with a guy who I had actually attended high school with for a couple of years (however we didn’t really know each other at the time). JT ended up getting a job with me at the local television station and a friendship was born. We, in turn, got to be good friends with a couple of twin sisters who also attended OUZ. The 4 of us, joined by a few others, all joined a cult, shaved our heads and handed out pamphlets at the local mall. Oooor…we all hung out in the OUZ radio booths, spinning records until midnight, hanging out at JT’s parents’ house and driving Maple Avenue until we were bored to tears. Yeah…I think THAT’S what really happened…

Way back in the day

Skip ahead a year. A quiet, strapping young lad entered Ohio U.-Z’town, all alone and looking for a job. Newman & I would also become great friends and he would follow me to Ohio U. and to every workplace I went for the next 8 years post-college. From Athens to Zanesville to Dayton to Cincinnati we went, and Newman has always been my go-to guy for music, movies and all things alcohol.

Me, Bob, JT & Newman…I dunno…maybe 11 years ago?

After those 2 years at Ohio University-Zanesville, we all scattered from our little cult of friends. Some of us went to Ohio’s main campus in Athens (me, JT, Newman, Karen). Some of us transferred to the University of Cincinnati (the twins, Alicia & Tricia). Some of us, quite frankly, disappeared and I have no idea what ever happened to them. But today, I got to see 4 of my best friends all together and it was a very good day.

To make a long story short, JT and his wife are expecting their first in July (way to go Farrah!). So he made the trek from his home planet in Memphis to visit his parents and share the news. On his way back, he stopped in Cinci to hang with Newman, Tricia, Alicia and myself. We hit the local Pub and enjoyed a few choice beverages while chatting it up with the waitress (who was 20?!?!) and we talked about life and love and the road to happiness. Needless to say, life stinks, love is for suckers and the road to happiness involves a bag of Cheetos and a lifetime supply of Blue Moon. But that’s besides the point. The point of this story is that we were all together again for the first time since 1995! So, of course, photos were taken and fun was had by all.

JT ALWAYS gets the ladies…

And then his face FROZE that way!

Oh hellooooooo Newman…

You don’t even want to know where my hand is…

Sure…I had a couple…

So JT spent the night and Newman went to work (yes…he works a morning shift job on the weekends! Sucker…). Then this morning my family and I let JT take us out for lunch before he fled the state. This evening, Alicia and her husband Shayne (who I also went to high school with at a different school. It’s a long story…remind me to tell you about it sometime…) came over to our house with their brood of 4 kids and we ordered pizza and watched the kids tear up the house. It has obviously been a great 24 hours…and I will not be forgetting this day for a long time. I miss my best friends quite a bit…and it was really awesome to see them all together, even if it was for only a few hours.

Interesting sidebar to this little story, last night one of those long-lost friends reappeared on Facebook to say hello and to let me know he is doing well. Johnny, it was great hearing from you also! I hope the next time I’m in Pittsburgh we can get together! Oh…and here’s a picture of JT’s head to scare you in your sleep…