Tentacle Talk


Monique Junot: He keeps putting his testicles all over me.
Lane Myer: Excuse me?
Monique Junot: You know, like octopus? Testicles?
Lane Myer: Ohhhh. Tentacles. N-T. Big Difference.

This exchange is from one of my favorite 80’s comedies, Better Off Dead. The reason I post it is because I am about to blog about a topic near and dear to my heart…my boys. Mom…there is no need for alarm. This is just a straight forward discussion about how they keep getting in the way. And when I say they are in the way, it’s not like they are…well…nevermind. But it just seems like they keep interfering with things. Such as…

Whenever I play with Christopher. He is at that height where if we are playing basketball, baseball, football, etc. I apparently have a big red target painted on the front of my pants. And if we are wrestling, its guaranteed that I’m gonna be feeling the pain! A few misdirected knee hikes and finally it hits me. Ya know…someday he’ll figure out why my eyes bug out like that whenever he does that move…

Whenever I play with Ava. She’s 3…and the worst height imaginable for my nether region. If she comes running at me, I know it’s gonna happen. There’s only so much preparation time. If I’m too slow at the hip slide…BAM! There’s that eye bulge thing again…

Whenever I’m lying in bed. Our cat Bootsie likes to jump up onto the bed and then walk right across them. Luckily she only has back claws!

Whenever I’m on the couch. Barkley likes to jump on them and then lie on them. He also likes to jump up at them as soon as I get home, claws bared. I know he’s excited to see me, but why do I feel like he actually know what he is doing and is going to forever hate me for what I did to his? “See how THIS feels, alpha male!”

It’s strange…I went so many years not really thinking about ’em…now I spend most of my day trying to protect them! Well at least they are pretty much done doing what they were meant to do. I like my tentacles…but man can they be a pain sometimes!

This entry was posted in Family Life, Silly Stuff. Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Tentacle Talk

  1. ashley says:

    What are the odds? I suppose 4/20 is offically talk about nuts day.

  2. ashley says:

    Er… I mean 4/21. Dang.

  3. Kim says:

    Nice! When I play Tiger Woods PGA Tour 08 and hit a ball into the gallery, occasionally it will take a bad hop and hit a spectator right in the “wiener,” as Jamison would say.

    Then he laughs, and laughs, and laughs, and laughs. And he makes me replay it so he can laugh some more.

    Boys rock.

  4. mom says:

    I just got on this blog and was reading your beginning dialog and dad said “What the ****are you reading?” I said I was reading Alan but this popped up!! Then I read further and we just laughed until I cried. Poor baby. I told you so!!! Love……..

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s