My wife is truly a wonderful woman. She is great with our kids. She is an awesome friend. She is a wonderful partner. And she loves animals.
No really…she LOVES animals. And insects. And anything that might swim, gallop, trot, hop, pounce or flutter.
So much in fact, that today she found my daughter “torturing” an insect and repremanded her. And by “torture” I mean literally pulling the little critter apart to “see what’s inside”. She called me as I was driving to work to tell me of this horrible incident.
Now I don’t know about you, but when I was a kid I used to bounce my basketball on ants. I would squish caterpillers to see what was inside. I hated spiders…so I avoided them. But most any other kind of buggie was at my mercy. So when I say that when she called me this afternoon to announce to me that my daughter was a sadistic killer, I couldn’t identify. But, being the good husband that I am, I listened to her. I listened to her rant for about 7 minutes about “How could our daughter do that?” and “I talked to both kids and told them that ants are important creatures also!”, fully aware of what was to come after all of this.
“Did I do the right thing?” was the question coming…and I had to prepare for it. I had to be ready to say the obviously correct thing. I had to agree with her, even though I also was guilty of, from time to time, gleefully stomping a row full of ants into oblivion. I had to sell my daughter down the river and tell my wife that she ABSOLUTELY did the right thing by talking to the kids. That all animals are created equal, no matter how big or how small. That every creature counts in this world of ours and they should all be treated with kindness. That what Ava should have done was carefully look at the little ant and then send it back into nature where it belongs, to scurry with its own kind, collecting food and nourishment for the upcoming winter (even though winter is a good 5 months away).
So when it finally came time to answer, I said this…
“Hey…there’s a car coming right at me! I gotta go!”
And I hung up the phone and switched it to off.
Does this make me a bad person?