What About Bob?


Neighbors are a good thing. Especially if they are friendly. But I got a neighbor who seems to be a really great guy. For anonymity’s sake, I’ll call him Bob (and also because that really is his name). Bob is…well…he seems like the perfect guy. If Bob were in “Top Gun” he would be Goose, the perfect wingman. Seriously, this guy is what being a guy is all about.

First off, he has a cool job. He works on trains. Dunno what his actual job is, but I’m sure it’s pretty cool. Any guy who works on trains is way cool (according to my son, who wants to work on a boat. I’m thinking cruise ship kaoroke singer. But that’s for a different blog). So Bob has that going for him.

Bob likes dirt. Every time I see Bob outside he’s digging in his backyard, working on his plants, using a chainsaw to trim leaves from his trees. He’s got a green thumb that would make…well…whoever the most famous gardner in the world is jealous.

Bob has 2 Jeeps. One for winter, one for summer he says. How cool is that???

Bob loves football. Everytime I talk to Bob he asks me if Christopher is gonna play football this year ’cause he’s a little league coach and he could coach him. Christopher is 6. I don’t know if he wants to play football. I can’t even get him to focus on playing Mario Kart for more than 3 minutes! How’s he gonna play football???

Bob loves fishing AND hunting. I do not. But most guys who are really manly guys do like fishing and hunting. I like blogging. And playing basketball. And listening to music and watching movies. I am NOT a guys guy…apparently.

Bob has a metal detector and doesn’t mind having kids over to dig up his yard. They must have dug around over there for about 2 hours yesterday. Christopher and the neighbor kids LOVED it.

Bob also likes lacrosse, making animal noises and playing with his 2 older boys. And Bob is divorced…so he can sit around all night and play “Call Of Duty” on the internet all night long in his underwear if he wants to without his wife yelling at him about getting more sleep!

I hate Bob.

But damn if he isn’t a great neighbor!

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4 Responses to What About Bob?

  1. fjl21 says:

    My neighbor is a crack dealer. Honest. I want Bob.

  2. Red says:

    Bob does sound like a good neighbor.

  3. leafless says:

    My neighbor never talks to anyone. He spends most of his time in the basement. I wonder what he is doing in there.

  4. Amber says:

    I like all of my neighbors except one. It’s a perverted man that lives across the street and stares in my windows. He must have radar because he knows every time I step out of the house. I’ll trade Bob for one creepy old dude please.

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