As If Gas Prices Aren’t Bad Enough…


Our new home!

Switzerland isn’t just known for schwingen and coo-coo clocks anymore folks! It is now the country that could destroy us all! Buried 330 feet below the wooden shoes of the citizens of Meyrin, scientists have built a giant atom-smasher! For over a generation, many great minds have been building this giant ring of supercooled magnets that, when switched on, could either enlighten us on the “Higgs boson” or it could just open up a black hole and we’ll all be sucked into a different dimension. Or…even better…it could just fire up enough molecular particles that it would char the earth like a giant chicken on a spit!

Obviously I’m not sure which I would prefer. I’m thinking discovering a particle thought to give matter its mass might be kinda cool (NOT). Being fried beyond recognition doesn’t excite me either. But being zapped into another dimension might just save us gazillions of dollars! I mean, we’ve been wanting to go to other solar systems for years! Why not just do it all at once and shoot the entire PLANET into some other system where there might be some other planets that we could inhabit and destroy.

Of course the odds of this happening is only a one in 50 million so it’s “possible” that nothing would happen and all would remain the same here on earth. But it’s also “possible” that the great minds of our planet who have been working on this baby and put over $5.8 billion dollars into this thing might just flip the switch and all hell will break loose!

So what do we want to do people? It’s due to happen in August. Do we butter up some corn, sit outside our homes and wait to see if we get zapped to some galaxy far, far away? Or do we close the hatch on this little project and continue to live our lives without knowing what “dark matter” or this “Higgs boson” thingee looks like?

Hmmmm…boy…this IS a tough one…

Wanna read more about this headline? Go here. Or here. or even here!

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2 Responses to As If Gas Prices Aren’t Bad Enough…

  1. I hope I get to see the new “Batman” movie
    before I get sucked into some sort of vortex.
    Tell them not to turn it on until after July 18th !

    They don’t fire it up til August…so you can see it a couple of times before the apocolypse!

  2. adam says:

    its not gunna happen its already in september -_-

    Just read an article about this in yesterday’s paper. It IS gonna happen. For some reason they pushed it back. Dunno why. Maybe because it’s DANGEROUS?!?!

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