What The Heck…Germs?


As far as I know, germs have been around for millions of years. I’m not a scientist, but I can only imagine that germs have lived long before we were ever around. It’s not in the Bible or anything, but I think it’s probably a no-brainer. So if these tiny little organisms have been around for so long…why is it so important that we murder them at such an alarming rate? Because I don’t know about you, but I think my wife has got the market cornered on those tiny little bottles of that germ fighting gel and she’s planning on using them until they run out or at least until she’s killed every last one of those little suckers.

We go to the grovery store. WHIP! She’s got the bottle in her hand, ready to pour to any poor soul who feels their hands are filthy with germs.

We go to the mall. BAM! There she is…ready for combat. Gel sprayed on every little surface of tiny tot palm.

We go to a restaurant to eat. WHAMMO! It’s spread from one child to the other, hands reaching for more of the wet stuff that will save them from the wretched germs!

We go to…well…just about anywhere really, and BADABING! There it is. Who makes this stuff? And why do they hate germs soooo much? Did the germs hurt someone close to them? Did a germ latch onto one of their favorite toys and refure to give it back when they were a child? What was it that caused such germ panic in my wife and many millions of other wives and mothers across our country?

Here’s the deal…I don’t like germs either. I guess. Hell, I don’t know. Aside from having someone sneeze in my face, I couldn’t tell you if I’ve ever gotten sick from a germ. I guess I have. But I wash my hands after I go to the bathroom and then I leave it up to mother nature to take care of me from there. I figure some soap and hot water before I eat can just about cover it. From there on out, I’m leaving it alone.

Here’s my question to all of you who use this stuff…this gel from hell, if you will…how do you know that this stuff even works? I mean, we are buying this stuff by the gallon, has it been proven that using it protects us from anything? Germs have been around for millions of years! Do you not think that they will evolve and eventually figure out a way to get around this gellatinous goo that we dump into our child’s hands every 5 minutes of the day? Do you really believe it works? Do ya?!?! Huh?!?!

Okay…got that out of my system. Now I’m over it. But seriously…kids are gonna suck on their fingers and put toys in their mouths that aren’t theirs and put their lips on a shopping cart handle at the grocery store and on and on and on. Germs will work their magic, no matter how much goop ya got. So don’t freak out when little Johnny catches a cold after going to the park 4 days ago. Odds are good, he probably got it from you breathing in his face when you were yelling at him to use his “Goop” to kill the germs! And NOW who is the enemy…Fun Hater Moms?

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4 Responses to What The Heck…Germs?

  1. I use it too … especially after I leave the grocery store. I keep it in my car. It is disgusting though, I agree. But I haven’t gotten sick in ages so maybe it works. Surprise for you tomorrow … I don’t usually post on weekends but I am tomorrow and you should try to log on if you have the chance!

  2. Amber says:

    Funny thing is it kills bacteria but not viruses. You cannot kill a virus, which is what most mom’s are trying to do.

    Can I be a little annoyed that my sister’s are all so much smarter than me?

  3. Midlife Slices says:

    I confess I too keep it in my car and my purse and use it a lot! I might even be considered hand sanitizer OCD. Maybe that insurance company is right afterall. Ugh….now I’m depressed. 🙂

    They don’t have goo stuff for depression. Only blue pills and pink pills and little brown pills. But don’t take them in that order.

  4. mandy says:

    Between the hand goop and the overuse of antibiotics, all we are really doing is making the germs stronger and inhibiting our kids’ immune systems from developing. Very scary stuff, really.

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