“Well…If You And I Were Married…”


Have you ever had that conversation with someone who might be a close friend or the spouse of one of your friends or the spouse of one of your wife’s friends or whatever? I have. I’ve had it many times through the years. I have never stopped to ponder the idea of it really. Usually it’s just a quick sentence with a joke behind it and then you move on with the conversation. But someone said it to me the other day and for some reason it stuck in my head. What would life be like if I were married to someone else?

I mean, my wife and I, we don’t really have a lot in common. She’s a socialite, I like to go to the movies and sit with total strangers. She likes to shop, I don’t (unless it’s at Best Buy. Whole different blog there.). She likes to eat out, I like to eat frozen pizzas for 3 straight days. She likes to annoy me, I don’t like to be annoyed. You know how it goes. The list could be endless! Oh, I know there are some of you out there living in the perfect world. You both love each other sooooo much and get along soooo well. And for the rest of us, you make me wanna puke! But those of you who completely get along have got to be in the minority…and without kids. I imagine that every couple has an issue or two or three. So…if you and I were married…what would you get? I’ve compiled a quick profile of myself (or the way I see myself. YOU might have a totally different opinion!). See what you think…

  • I am a hard worker, trying to support my family in these troubled times.
  • I have a good sense of humor but I’m not quick-witted.
  • For my age, I guess I’m in decent shape. Or, at least, I’ve seen worse.
  • I have bad breath in the morning like everyone else.
  • My worst habit is that I bite my nails..which is pretty gross to some people.
  • I’m not particularly good with numbers however I am organized, so that helps keep the numbers I do need to know in order.
  • I’m creative and enjoy writing and photography and video editing.
  • I am not one to want to talk about my feelings all the time, however I don’t mind chatting about them providing it pertains to the conversation we are having.
  • I’m not particularly interested in what other people think of me and I am not quick to judge others.
  • That being said, I’m not one to trust someone on a whim if I don’t know them.
  • I don’t like feeling that I owe someone anything. And if I do something for you, I don’t expect payback.
  • I am a impulse buyer. I hate shopping around…which makes me an easy target in gadget stores.
  • I am terrible around the house. Cooking, repairing things, working on the lawn. Seriously, I was tailor-made for a condo or an apartment. I’m not lazy, I just have no interest. Which is very “unmanly” of me…I know. But I do have quite the collection of tools!
  • I love sports, but I don’t LIVE sports. Well..I do live them…it’s my job. But I don’t HAVE to know the score to every game played last night.
  • I’m a loving and caring husband who has an occasional bad day/week/month but really I just want my wife to be happy and enjoy life. Let me deal with my issues. I got it covered.

So…you decide. If you and I were married…would I be any better than YOUR significant other? I don’t know a lot of things, but in my experience, there are a lot of men like me, just exchange photography with golf or fishing and maybe scratch the “talking about my feelings” comment. Personally I don’t think we are as complicated as women are. I think we just internalize more…which might be a part of the problem. And I would dare to say that as mean and angry and uncommitted and unloving as we can come across at times, we all love our wives very much. At least, I know I do! Remember this…the grass ISN’T always greener on the other side. Usually it tastes just the same. We all have issues…and I bite my fingernails. 🙂

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This entry was posted in Family Life, Marriage, My Life, Silly Stuff, Thoughts. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to “Well…If You And I Were Married…”

  1. bonnieluria says:

    Salute to a very honest assessment of the reality and complexity of relationship keeping.
    I am reminded of the Off Off Broadway play that ran in NY before I moved called ‘ I Love You, You’re Perfect, Now Change “.

    If the grass is greener on the other side,, it’s usually because they use unsafe chemicals. I’ll take my yard and my mate, the way they came and maybe with some weed plucking as needed.

    Your musings are so dead on topic and timely.
    Great blog here- really.

    Well thank you! I’m blushing! 🙂

  2. Red says:

    Hmm . . the husband and I get along reallllly well .. and we have a kid. We rarely fight or argue, and we have quite a bit in common – not everything, but a lot.

    One of my favorite things about him is that he does fix things. He can take something apart and fix it. He can take something that’s broke, and make it work. And not by half-assing it either. He can do electrical and plumbing, mechanics and carpentry. He’s a do-it-all DYI’r and I love that about him.

    And you say you’re terrible around the house . . sorry, but I’d have to ask for a divorce from ol’ Alan 🙂

    I think it’s great that you never argue with your hubby! That’s excellent! You are one lucky gal. And…can you send your hubby to my house? I got a leaky faucet I need fixed…thanks!

  3. Midlife Slices says:

    Hmmm….if you and I were married that would make me a Cougar. Wow, I think I’d like to be a Cougar and wear the t-shirt that says…”I’m a Cougar” because it wouldn’t be obvious that I was 20 years older than you and people wouldn’t be laughing at me because I thought I looked good with a man 20 years younger. Ha!! Oh, and my marriage is perfect. We love, fight, bitch at each other, and sometimes just downright don’t like each other but there is always love so it’s totally perfect. 🙂

    And it’s the same in my house. Not the Cougar part…just the “love, fight bitch and don’t like each other” part…

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