Okay…okay…I’ve had enough. So my brother and I have had this ongoing rift because he’s a smoker. He smokes “reds” or “blacks” or whatever. I call them cigarettes. They are these little rolled up packages of cancer that can and will eventually kill anyone who uses them. The argument is that everyone dies sooner or later, right? Well…all MY life I’ve chosen later. If you are interested in the extended backstory to how and why my brother smokes you can go here, or I can just tell you why because apparently this is what it comes down too…
He thinks it’s cool.
Hmmm…well that’s kind of pathetic, but whatever. It’s what he wants. Apparently everyone was doing it or has done it so that makes it ok. My Dad did it when he was younger, my sisters apparently all did it. Some guy named Mike did it. So it must have been cool BACK THEN. But now we are not BACK THEN. Now he has a son and a beautiful wife and I imagine he probably has bills to pay. Smoking is a waste. It’s a waste of time, it’s a waste of money and it will kill him eventually.
My brother is young. He’s 30 this year. What he’s gonna find out is that, just like when he turned 20, he won’t be 30 forever. It will catch up to him. Maybe not this year or even next. But somewhere down the line, he won’t be strong and healthy. It won’t matter what he eats (and no matter what he says, he does NOT eat healthy. I’ve seen the late night Dorito binges and the guzzling of soda at midnight) or what kinds of exercises he does, cigarettes will put him on the fast track to dead faster than he thinks.
But now I’m over it. We have done this before. Frank bet me that I could stop biting my fingernails and I failed. So he has that to run with. I had weight to lose so he leveraged his smoking. I lost weight and he didn’t quit smoking. And you know what…I don’t care about what he did. Do I give him shit about the fact that he can’t quit? Yep. It’s what brothers do. But here’s a little secret Frank…I lost weight for myself. Not for you. I want to feel good about myself. I want to lose weight and watch what I eat because I feel that I can be a better person if I’m in shape. I can play with my kids. I can run around the block. I can walk a golf course without my back aching. I decided to lose weight on my own. I didn’t need our bet to do it. You wanna smoke…go for it. But as smart as you think you are, you’re not. Because smoking is stupid. Smoking will kill you. And your family will suffer the repurcussions of it.
So somewhere down the line, you’re gonna start having problems breathing. And then you’ll go to the doctor and they’ll tell you you have lung cancer. And then maybe there will be a time limit to how much time you have left. And then you will have to look your wife and son in the eye and tell them what that doctor told you. And then how cool will you be? I’m sure that will be waaaaay cool, dude.
Good luck with the cancer lottery! But I’m all out. You want to be left alone, you got it. I love you. You are my brother and one of my best friends. But no matter how smart you think you are and no matter how strong you think you are, you are an idiot.
Smoking kills. It’s been scientifically proven. That’s all I got.