I’m Older Than I Thought I Was



The Culprit: What IS Her Age…Really???

So I don’t know what to think. For the longest time, I always thought it went like this…

Me…oldest
My sister…4 years younger
Next sister…6 years younger
Next sister…8 years younger
Brother…10 years younger
Baby sister…11 years younger

Come to find out today…the SECOND sister and the THIRD sister are 7 years and 9 years younger than me?!?!?!  WHAT?!?!

So for going on 33 years now, I’m the REALLY OLDER brother?!?!

That’s a WHOLE YEAR that I’ve lost somewhere??? When did this happen? What year did I lose? What is going on when I have somehow misplaced time and now my siblings are a year younger than I think they are??? Could this be a ploy? Or is it a sign of senility? Is it possible…and I’m thinking this might be more likely…that my sister is just trying to confuse me? Trying to make me FEEL older? Because I have gone along all this time, imagining that she and my other sister are a year older than they are…

Or…is it just MY SISTER who is getting older and she has forgotten what her TRUE age is? Maybe she doesn’t want to get older? Maybe she is using my male mentality (guys don’t remember birthdays) to use against me and is trying to stay young forever?!?!?

Hmmmm…wonder what evil forces are really at work here….I dunno. Gonna have to do more research into this (birth certificates, visits with relatives, the works…) and I’ll get back to you. Curiouser and curiouser said the cat…

P.S. Still in the doghouse for yesterday. *sigh*       (dammit)

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32 Responses to I’m Older Than I Thought I Was

  1. Is there room for Briefcase in that doghouse? You could keep each other company ….

    Suuuuure…make sure he brings the biscuits!

  2. Red says:

    hehe .. thats’ funny.

  3. Midlife Slices says:

    If it’s any consolation, I’m a year younger than I thought I was. woohoo….yeah!! Sorry about your luck though. 🙂

    Such is the way of my life.

  4. kat says:

    dude…

    Don’t EVEN start with me! You used to smoke…so THERE!

  5. kat says:

    Dude!

    I’m warning ya….you…

  6. kat says:

    Breakdancer!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Oh you did NOT go there!!! Oh you are in BIG trouble…

  7. kat says:

    ahem….. pink half shirt….

    Now that’s not nice. I have pictures of YOU and your HUGE hair!!! Be careful….

  8. kat says:

    who wears short shorts..
    alan wore short shorts….

    Just wait til my blog for tomorrow…

  9. kat says:

    I’m gonna tell on you and mom won’t cook you pork chops ever again!!!

    Seriously alan…. truce ok??

    yes….. I am running scared of the pics.

    love you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Uh huh…IT’S ON “little” sister who used to smoke and who had big hair in the 80’s!!!

  10. kat says:

    don’t do it alan…

    remember that you are coming home this weekend.

    My husband and I live for this kind of s**t.

    Right…like Billy is gonna help you get out of this! Not likely…

  11. kat says:

    you are soooooo old!!!!!!!!

    Just wait…

  12. kat says:

    on like “donkey kong” or one of those atari games you used to play????

    I miss Atari. And I never played Donkey Kong…it was Space Invaders…

  13. kat says:

    I might as well make it worth it 🙂

    It’s gonna be a pictorial. And it will be very 80’s…

  14. kat says:

    here’s a bribe…

    I have something special for you…. a gift we’ll say…. if no photo’s show up in this “future blog” of yours. or at least finish with an updated nice one:)

    A gift, huh? As long as it’s not Metamucil or one of dad’s adult diapers…LOL

    P.S. My Dad doesn’t really wear adult diapers…yet.

  15. kat says:

    well, I was going to give you this special gift…. but now my feelings are hurt. Go back to your dog house and think how valuable my friendship is to you……and of the possible retributions. Bill and I once wrapped duct taped around and around frank and jacque’s house.

    YOUR feelings are hurt??? I am the one who woke up this morning and I’m OLDER than I thought I was! YOU are YOUNGER than originally thought. So how are YOUR feelings hurt? Are ALL women crazy? Or just the ones in my life?

  16. kat says:

    Hey alan… now calm down. I don’t want your blood pressure to get out of control. Plus as stated above, your not wearing your adult diapers right now… so don’t have an “accident”.

    Also, I AM only 8 years younger. You turn the big 4-0 in dec. and in april I turn 32ish.

    32-ish? LOL That’s funny. Okay…I want my special gift! And I’ll play nice…

  17. kat says:

    29 29 29 29 29 29 29 29 29 29 29 29 29 29 29 29 29

    I have my own problems….

    Yes…you do! HA! I want my gift…

  18. kat says:

    gotta go, matlock is on.

    She watches Matlock…I watch Mister Rogers…who ya gonna trust?

  19. kat says:

    I don’t Really watch matlock, but I thought the golden girls would make me sound too girlie.

    Aaaaaand…really old.

  20. kat says:

    i gave you that one.. thought you could use a good zinger.. ya lolly gagger..

    Only someone who is 32 would say “lolly-gagger”…

  21. kat says:

    jimminy crickets, do you feel better yet?

    Jimminy crickets??? Who talks like this???

  22. kat says:

    and I am only 31 for many many more months thanks.

    Uh huh…prove it…

  23. kat says:

    mom…. I know you are out there reading this. Tell alan when my birthday is. and politely explain that my current lingo is to help him feel better, not for him to poke fun. (unless of course That is making him feel better. In which case…)

    I’m going now. I can’t handle all of this “blogging” stuff. going back to my ebay. gonna have to make an impulse purchase after all this.

    Finally! Now go buy your big brother something nice…

  24. kat says:

    yeah, maybe some leg warmers and a nice fish net top.

    Eeew.

  25. kat says:

    now good night!!

  26. Yep…you’re older than dirt, my man.

    Ouch

  27. Breakdancer?????

    Uh…yep. Maybe you’ve heard of it? It was a dancing craze back in the 80’s…and I dabbled a bit…

  28. Whoaw whoaw whoaw hold on! Are there photographs?

    Nope. Sorry!

  29. mandy says:

    Oh, we have pictures all right….and video.

    We do???

  30. danielle-lee says:

    Wow! What the hell happened to that year??? Does that mean we all lost a year, or just you???
    Pictures? Video? Breakdancing?? Someone better post that shit!!!

    There are no pictures or video. I had it all destroyed many years ago. However…I promise…that if I ever DO come across any shots of me breakdancing I will post it just to get a laugh!

  31. Mandy said video existed. We need to see that.

    Yes…it IS true that there is a very short clip of me breakdancing. However, it is so grainy and old that it really isn’t usable or entertaining. Sorry…maybe the video of me doing the cha-cha-cha?

  32. Danielle-lee says:

    If there is video, YOU MUST POST IT. You can’t make us read all that, and then say ‘Uh, it’s grainy and old and not entertaining. sorry’. Wtf?? Video- Now!!!
    Lolly-gag: LOLOLOLOLOL!
    Jiminy Cricket-LOLOLOLOLOLOOL.

    I think your sister is awesome, even if you do think she’s old. Which means, by the way, you think I’M old. jeez. here we go again…..

    OKAY OKAY!!! Gimme a couple days. I got a sister getting married in my hometown and my daughter’s first soccer match to blog about this weekend! I have ALL next week off. Give me to Thursday and I’ll show EVERYBODY video of me breakdancing. (But the quality AND the dancing both suck). Now get off my back already people!!!

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