Chatty Kathy…Clip Your String!

Can I get this thing battery operated?

In the 1960’s, there was a doll that, if you pulled a string in her back, she would talk. She had a variety of things to talk about and the lines changed every time you pulled the string. Cut to today. The doll STILL exists…but she is in the form of my 4-year old daughter who, although without a string, can talk NON-STOP for HOURS on end!

I’m not gonna bad-mouth my daughter here because quite frankly she’s the apple of my eye. I love her more than words can express. However, I have to wonder, for those of you stay-at-home parents out there with a 4-year old…how do you do it? Because my mental state of health is in serious jeopardy right now! Case in point…last night we went to the mall to buy Ava some pants for the cooler weather we are having and because she grew 4 INCHES (???) this year. So off we go…little suburban family…to the mall.

We get there and we are ready to shop. It’s Ava, Christopher, myself and She-Who-Hate-Me (also known as my wife). Normally we enter the mall through Sears. Tonight it’s JC Penney…

Me: “Okay guys. We’re gonna go in, buy Ava some pants, get some dinner and head home…okay?”

Ava: “Is this the mall?”

Me: “Yes Ava…this is the mall.”

Ava: “I don’t think this is the mall. What is this place? Are we going to eat here?”

Me: “Yep…we’re gonna eat here. And this IS the mall, honey.”

Ava: “Are we gonna buy clothes here?”

Me: “Yep.”

Ava: “I don’t think I want to eat here Daddy.”

Me: “We’re not eating here Ava…we’re gonna eat at the Food Court. We’re buying you pants here.”

Ava: “But I thought we were buying pants at the mall?”

Me: “This IS the mall, Ava.”

Ava: “But I’m hungry…and I want to eat at the mall. Did you see my bandaids that the doctor gave me today? I got 6 shots! They gave me a sticker. Are we gonna buy my pants at this store? I don’t see any princess dresses. Where is the food? Is Christopher gonna eat at the mall?”

At this point we are IN the store and Christopher has started touching every piece of clothing within his reach. My conversation now has to break into 2 parts…

Christopher: “Oooooh! Hey Dad! Look at this! This shirt comes with a tractor!”

Me: “That’s great Christopher. Just look, okay buddy? Don’t touch. And we’re here to buy your sister some pants…”

Christopher: “Yeah…but aren’t they coooooool? Hey! Look at this! (touching something else. Pulling it off the rack) Can I get this Dad?”

Ava: “Look at this cool tractor on this shirt, daddy! Can Christopher get this shirt? Are we gonna eat here?”

And on and on and on and on and on. Meanwhile She-Who-Hate-Me already has steam coming out her ears and is frantically putting all of the crap that they keep pulling down back on the rack. Good times…

I swear…if I’m not insane by the end of this week it will be a complete surprise…

This entry was posted in Family Life, Kids, Marriage, My Life, Silly Stuff. Bookmark the permalink.

7 Responses to Chatty Kathy…Clip Your String!

  1. LOL!!! Thanks for the great laugh. Reminds me of some of my outings with my 2-year old. Priceless!

  2. amyz5 says:

    OMG, first Chatty Cathy? I had that doll. Something tells me she might still be in my mother’s attic.

    And not only did I have that daughter, I was her too. My dad called both me and my daughter Chatty Cathy.

    Don’t worry, Ava will grow up to be a famous blogger (or the equivalent of her generation)

    Laughed out loud.

  3. Midlife Slices says:

    It doesn’t get any better with grandchildren either. Geezz…sometimes I want to scream and throw a tantrum myself, just to see if they’ll stop talking for 30 seconds.
    Thanks for the laugh….

  4. heather says:

    LOL You’ve got one of those too, huh? I never thought my daughter would make it through Kindergarten, she got in trouble so many times for talking to her neighbors, or getting out of her seat to go socialize. She’s about to turn 15 and I can’t say things have gotten any better.

  5. My daughter is 19. I love her dearly. She leaves for college tomorrow. I need the quiet. I feel so horrible saying that. Did I mention I love her dearly? But she’s been home for a couple weeks and there is never a moment of quiet. Not.One.Moment.

  6. Danielle-lee says:

    Oh my. YOU ARE NOT ALONE! I have one of those too! (the kid, not the doll) She NEVER.STOPS. and it’s so random and stream-of-consciousness. Sometimes it’s funny, but other times, I just want to curl in a ball and whimper like a puppy.
    My kid goes and goes AND.GOES up until bedtime. And even then, she is lying in her bed and I hear her banging on her headboard, talking to her stuffed animals, or singing. Sweet, but MADDENING.
    Someday, these days will be long gone, and we will miss them.
    Until then? We will be batshit crazy.

    Everyone who has a teenager tells me to enjoy these days because it only gets worse. I can’t imagine a 15 or 16 year old blathering on about their birthday that happened 2 months ago…but I imagine the topics probably turn more into “I want this and that”! I don’t know which is worse…

  7. kmcdade says:

    Ohhhh…this was entirely too painful to read!

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