Blender Forgot A Few

Love the Blender magazine! This month, the one with the cover of the Pussycat Dolls on it (seriously…can ANYONE tell me any of these women besides Nicole Scherzinger? And even she might be questionable…) they list 33 of the most overrated people, places, trends and other junk in rock. Now, I love me some good “Lists”, and this one is AWESOME! However I had to think…why 33? Why not round it out and go for 35 or 40 or even 50? Surely there are some they forgot! So I’m gonna finish their list for ’em. I’m assuming the check will be in the mail…or I get a lifetime subscription. Whichever…I win either way!

34. Music Remakes
Why do artists repeatedly take a song and redo it EXACTLY like to original? For example…Alanis Morrisette redid Seal’s “Crazy”. It sounds exactly the same! John Mayer redid “Freefallin”…exactly the same. Some guy I’ve never heard of redid “Hey Ya”…in the same way…only acoustically? WTF? Why? Why would you do that? STOP REMAKING OLD SONGS WITH NEW ARTISTS! Seriously…if I hear the Black Eyed Peas redoing one more Rolling Stones song I might go crazy!

35. Britney Spears
She’s a mess. She can’t sing. She’s overproduced. She’s just awful. And I don’t care how many VMA awards she won.

36. Music Videos
They are usually so standard or so over the top and they rarely have anything to do with the song (if you can even find them. Does MTV actually play videos anymore?). A hit song stands by itself these days. The 80’s are over and it’s surprising how boring videos have become.

37. “Selling Out”
It used to be looked down upon in the music community whenever an artist sold their souls to the corporate devils. Now it’s happening at every turn. As a matter of fact, I bet a group or artist would KILL to be in a Apple commercial! Either way, usually you don’t know the song or the artist and you don’t care.

38. The Rolling Stones
Just kidding! (Kinda…but not really. Let’s just say since the mid-80’s they haven’t recorded an album that is remotely interesting and other than overcharging for a seat at their concert, they’ve really done nothing but bide their time to retirement. Sooooo…70’s Stones are awesome! 2000’s Stones kinda suck.)

39. Rap Haters
Look…it’s not MY favorite genre either, but it has given us some talented artists who know how to put together a good tune (even if most of them can’t really sing). LL Cool J, Slick Rick, Lupe Fiasco, Nas, all talented artists in their own regard. Whether it’s knowing a good hook when they hear it, or if it’s just the ability to market themselves, each has some talent that has gotten them this far. I guess it’s time to acknowledge that…

40. Metallica
Can anyone explain to me why every single song they have ever put out simply sounds like somebody is just yelling into a microphone while an orangutan is banging ferociously on a drumset while a 10-year old is plucking the strings of an electric guitar that is cranked to 11? I don’t get the appeal…but to each his own.

And I’m stopping there. I’m too tired to go on and, quite frankly, I’ve lost interest in this blog. It has spent almost 7 days in my “Drafts” box and I felt like it was time to put it out there. No more waiting! 🙂

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2 Responses to Blender Forgot A Few

  1. mandy says:

    I hate (just about all) rap.
    I like Metallica (well, I used to anyway. Not much time for headbanging these days).
    I’m stopping there, I’ve lost interest in this comment 🙂

  2. Danielle-lee says:

    7 days to write this? Wow! You do need a break!!

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