The Houston Galleria Mall



The view from my hotel room. Let’s go shopping!

Houston, Texas. EVERYTHING in Texas is big. The state itself is huge! Over 266,000 miles in size, it’s the 2nd largest state in our country (behind Alaska. But who lives in Alaska? Apparently at least 2,000 people…) and more than likely has the most firearms per capita than anywhere in the world. Everybody in Texas owns a gun or a rifle. And most folks proudly display them in the rear window of their HUMONGOUS trucks while their big boots stomp through the tumbleweeds and the cows roam free.

Okay…maybe cows DON’T roam free (or maybe they do? Just not in downtown Houston…), but the shoppers do! And they do it at the Galleria Mall. If you’ve never been to or heard of the Galleria, then you aren’t a shopper. Because next to the Mall of America in Minneapolis, this place is like The Magnificent Mile in Chicago….only enclosed and just as pricey. Actually, it’s the 4th largest shopping center in the country. But I digress…

With 375 stores, if you want designer clothes? They got ’em. Want high-priced jewelry? Got it. Shoes of all shapes? Got ’em. High priced places to eat? Got ’em. Want lingerie? Got that too. Want to shop cheap? There’s a Wal-Greens right down the street from it. Seriously, you’re not gonna find anything under $40 at the Galleria. You want proof that our economy ain’t in as bad shape as the media says? Go to the mall on a Friday or Saturday night. People of all kinds, whether it’s white, black, hispanic, asian, small or … I gotta say it … BIG (it IS Texas, after all) are ALL roaming the mall. Like herd of cattle we march, for what seems like MILES, perusing, grazing and wandering from store to store. My stores of interest? The Apple and Sony stores, of course. But they have just about any shop you want. From Macy’s to Nemann Marcus, from Gucci to American Eagle. And the purse stores! Oh how GLORIOUS would it be if my wife EVER found her way to this mall? My credit score would plummet 300 points! I never realized how many different types of purse makers there are out there! It’s incredible!

Needless to say, I didn’t stay too long (walking for 2 hours while fighting the current of people swimming upstream is quite exhausting!), but I did manage to buy myself a couple of shirts that were ON SALE! and a Stephen King book at Border’s. Not bad considering last winter I bought all of my wife’s Christmas gifts here…and I think I’m STILL paying for them!

So if you’re a shopper, and you still have your check from the government still burning a hole in your pocket (yeah….right), then get on down here to Texas and take a walk through the Galleria! It’s a really, really big mall in a really, really big city in a really, really big state. Oh…and bring your ice skates…’cause they have an ice rink in there too. And what’s a visit to Texas without a little ice skating action?

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3 Responses to The Houston Galleria Mall

  1. You are such an ass! You went to Texas and did not even think about going to Dallas instead of Houston? We have a Galleria Mall too, AND our renovated NorthPark Mall may even get better than the Galleria.
    I feel so slighted.

    Ps: Er, the Cowboys roaming the streets may be somewhat of an exaggeration.

    Ps2: Sarah Palin lives in Alaska and hopefully she’ll remain one of the 2,000 full-time residents.

    For the record, I told EVERYONE I was coming to Texas. But the game was in Houston…so it wasn’t like I had a choice! And I have heard of the Dallas Galleria…but I figured if you’ve been to one, you’ve been to them all!

    P.S. I know…but it’s what all northerners think about Texas.

    P.P.S. I know that also! Which is why I made the reference. Palin was mayor of teeny, tiny Wasilla (which actually has a population of over 5,000. Whew! Big time there!)

  2. heather says:

    Here is something you may not know about me – I was born in Houston. Exciting, huh?

    That IS fascinating! And now you live in Cincinnati…somewhere. We should do coffee sometime…

  3. mom says:

    Why a hotel room? Why not Aunt Sissy’s? Gotta be cheaper.

    Wellllll…the room was paid for by the company that hired me. That’s why. And the gym at the hotel was awesome!

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