Top 10 Things I Hate About Traveling

And there I go again…

Well…as you may or may not know, I’ve been pretty busy of late. My schedule has kept me runnin’ from airport to airport and I’m feeling pretty jet lagged. For those of you who don’t frequent airports often, it’s a whole different world. And for those of you who DO travel, you can assist me in my Top 10 Things I Hate About Travel!

10. Small Planes
Why do airlines keep downsizing and then pile us into these tiny airplanes? Seriously, I’m starting to feel like I’m a cow being shuffled from place to place. Moo already!

9. Sleeping
I have no idea how people do it, but there are those who don’t seem to have any problem crashing on a flight from point A to point B. I, on the other hand, have a non-flexible neck, so every time I fall asleep, my head rolls off and I’m wide awake again. So I hate people who can sleep on planes…because I CAN’T!!!

8. Overbooked Flights
Look lady…I realize it’s not YOUR fault that the company you work for has decided to screw you and make you the bearer of bad news. But the repeated pleas aren’t gonna make me want to stay in Atlanta one more night and I don’t want a $300 voucher that I won’t use. Actually, the thought of it kinda pisses me off. Why don’t YOU get on the phone and call your manager and have him or her come down and tell all of these people why they’ve paid for a flight that doesn’t have enough seats? Yeah…THAT I want to see!

7. Security
Here’s a little joke for ya…What does TSA stand for? Thousands Standing Around…that’s what! HA! Look, I realize we need to have security for our country. I’m not arguing that. What I CAN argue are some of the PEOPLE they’ve hired to protect our country. Seriously…forcing a 4 year old to walk through one of those scanners scared to death is bullshit. And some of these guys should be working at the Starbucks in the C terminal.

6. People Who Fart
Yeah…I don’t think this needs any further discussion…

5. Seat Hogs
C’MON! Move over, big guy! I always sit by the window because I hate people bumping into me. So the tradeoff is that usually I get some person who is 10 times larger than me and they want to hog all MY space. I got a wall to my right…I can’t move any farther away! Get out of my $900 seat already

4. People Who Stick Their Butt In My Face
The main reason I always sit by the window is because people are just rude. I know you need to put your bag up in the compartment. And I know it’s a tight squeeze. But at least be nice and ACKNOWLEDGE that you just shove your butt 3 inches from my snout and that will make it somewhat more bearable.

3. The Moving Sidewalk
Is what it says it is…a MOVING sidewalk. NOT a people mover for you to stand and graze or talk on your phone. MOVE it already! Or at least stand out of the way, for crying out loud!

2. People Who Talk Loudly On Cell Phones
I HATE when people share all of their business with me without me asking. You going to a business meeting? Well then get there and THEN talk about stock quotes. You have a child with the mumps at home? Well then, GO HOME and take care of your child. I don’t want to hear about it. You’re stressing me out and I want nothing to do with any of it! You wouldn’t believe the number of conversations that I can’t drown out with my IPod because people just can’t seem to put that damn phone away! Ugh…I HATE cell phones…

1. I’m Not Home
Which is where I prefer to be. However I can’t talk my clients into paying me to stay at home. So this is apparently not an option…

You know what I DO enjoy about traveling? Listening to my IPod, playing “Bejeweled” on my ITouch, reading a book or magazine, drinking Starbucks and perusing the computer stores! So see…the airport does offer SOME joy!

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5 Responses to Top 10 Things I Hate About Traveling

  1. Hahaha I agree with you in all your points. I have traveled a bit this year and to tell you the truth the worst are points 1, 6 and 9… I can’t stand that too.

  2. Tammy says:

    My husband travels alot. Lately he has started packing a strap-on-dildo on the very top of his carry-on bag. Just for shiggles. He figures since he’s subjected to the harassment of TSA so often, he might as well get his laugh in occasionally.

    Wow! Now THAT would be a sight! HAHAHAHAHAHA!

  3. RUTH ANN says:

    LOL, buy one of those neck pillows, it might help for the rolling.
    we got stuck in miami, they overbooked everything, and then the storm cancelled everything, mike got pissed and even asked him why they over book and the smart ass behind the counter said ” well actually they are building smaller planes now”

  4. My greatest dread is to be sitting close to a screaming kid. Even worse… an unruly young kid whose parents will not discipline. I’m not shy about asking parents to do something about the imp.

    Also, I hate it when people listen to music so loudly that I have to hear it to. They either need to buy better headsets or tune it down.

    As far as the sleeping goes, there is nothing like a good old Valium (if you have a long trip.)

    I admit…I am guilty of listening to my music too loudly. And I don’t do drugs…unfortunately. And kids screaming? Been there, done that.

  5. Danielle-lee says:

    I love that Tammy’s husband packs a strap-on! That’s so funny!
    I hate the farting and the sleepers too. Jeez.

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