I Don’t Do “Forwards”. I Delete.

My email box

I know…I am a killjoy. With all the fun things happening on the internet, you would think that I would just LOVE to forward everyone I know religious messages about loving my neighbor and cute little pictures of kittens hugging and saying “I Love You” or participating in some “Get Rich Now By Forwarding This To EVERYONE You Know” scheme or adding my name to a list of people who have been married and haven’t gotten divorced. But…I don’t get it.

I don’t want to rain on anyone’s parade, but all of this stuff just is a clutter. Just like on Facebook with all the poking and applications and stuff, it’s all participatory…and I’m just not that kind of guy. Sure, I open the email and check it out. But for me to open it, read it, understand it, decide if I want to forward it and then go through my group of friends and decide who will actually enjoy such an email or who will think I’m a big idiot for forwarding a picture of a kitten or a kinky sex joke or whatever just takes up too much space in my brain.

The easiest thing for me to do? Delete. It’s pretty simple and doesn’t take up too much of my time. Delete is the new pink! It’s the hippest new way to tell people to stop sending all the crap! Email, much like junkmail, can get overwhelming! So…I’m not being rude (I don’t think) when I say…to whoever is sending out all these ridiculous emails about how an email will save lives or forests or relationships or make me money…I ain’t buying it. I Delete it. If I want to save lives, I donate. If I want to save forests, I recycle. If I want to make money, I go to work. I do not believe that I can do any of those things through an email. I might be wrong. If you know of any email that has been sent to you that HAS saved a life, a forest, a critter, made you money quick, brought you closer to God, made you a friend in Australia, brought joy to thousands of people, made someone cry, made you laugh or brought sexual fulfillment to your life…then by all means…email it to me right now! I must have it!

Delete, delete, delete, delete, delete, delete, delete, delete…..

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10 Responses to I Don’t Do “Forwards”. I Delete.

  1. phhhst says:

    Delete is the new pink? You should copyright that and put it on a bumper sticker. But yeah, me too, I delete.

    Hmmmm…a new marketing tool? Maybe I’ll forward that to ALL my friends! Nah…

  2. mom says:

    Read my e-mail, didn’t ya’!!! Love……

    Yeah…sorry Mom. But I still love ya! πŸ™‚

  3. I do the same thing only I just open it and read the first line and then delete so I won’t feel AS guilty…..or worry about having 15 years bad luck, or getting that unexpected phone call tomorrow, or finding a new job (although sometimes that one intrigues me) or meeting hot chicks online…..HUH?

    We’re probably missing out on a lot of good stuff, right? Nahhh…….

  4. I rarely open any of that crap anymore. A lot of it carries viruses, spyware, etc. And I barely have time for anything these days so the spam has got to go!

  5. Tammy says:

    OMG – I groan when a friend obviously hasn’t checked their e-mail in a month and then sends you 50+ consecutive FWD’s. I delete them all – with glee. You are not alone.

  6. mandy says:

    I HATE e-chainmail! Especially the ones that say they’ll put a hex on you if you don’t forward it to at least ten friends. Oh, or the ones that end with “email it back to me if you care about me…” What the heck? I luv ya, but “Delete!”

  7. thistle says:

    Delete IS the new pink…after my virus episode i approach all email, even from my friends and family, with great suspicion and almost none of it gets forwarded. Especially the ‘bad luck’ ones…

  8. I do not bother with the chain letters, but if someone sends me something really hilarious, you bet I’ll forward it! It’s a public service.

  9. Danielle-lee says:

    I too DELETE. Do you know what’s even worse??? I’ve been getting this shit TEXTED to me on my phone too!!! Maddening!

    That TOTALLY Sucks!

  10. Danielle-lee says:

    PS. ON facebook, can I be your friend?? πŸ™‚ I will totally POKE every day. LOL.

    Okay…you are now my friend! But no tickling…I’m totally ticklish…

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