A Pirate Looks At 40


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Guess who is turning 40? One clue…he’s not on the left. And he’s wearing an eyepatch.
And…OH C’MON ALREADY!!!

40 years. I’m 40 years old. Well…not yet officially…but almost. Really…that’s “getting up there” if you think about it. Think of all the things that have happened in my lifetime. Looking back, I am trying to think of some defining moments that I remember with absolute clarity. Me being the forgetful person that I am, I have come up with a short list. So I’m gonna put on my eyepatch one more time while I’m 39, stare at the receding sealine (not hairline) and put it out there…

  1. The day Christopher was born. I remember him, all bloody and really PISSED OFF! He was not happy to be leaving his happy place. But all good things must come to an end and here he is, 6 years later, reading, writing and doing arithmatic. Amazing what life can do.
  2. My wedding day and honeymoon in St. Lucia. The greatest week of my life. Who knew what kind of journey we were in for? And the one person who has my number has kept me in check ever since. I love her for everything that she allows me to be. As irritating as I can be, and as complicated as our relationship is, she is a standup woman who knows that I would be one bitter pirate without her and she puts up with me…even when I’m being an assbag.
  3. The day my Mom had an anuerysm. We are all faced with that time when the ones you love are in life and death situations. But the image of her lying in that hospital bed was one of the saddest days of my life. Oddly enough, I didn’t believe then that it was to be her last day. And you know what…she didn’t let me down. She came roaring back and has been going strong for well over 10 years now! Love you Mom!
  4. Don’t know what year it was, but coming downstairs on Christmas morning and there was literally a SEA of gifts under the tree. With 6 kids, there was a lot to go around!
  5. Hanging out with my best friend at his house. Sitting in front of the television and pouring out my soul about a lost love. I must have rambled on for too long because when I turned around…he was sound asleep. I will never forget that JT!!! And I will never forget “The Haircut” either! LOL
  6. Taking my daughter to physical therapy classes. She hadn’t learned to crawl (she was a “scooter”) and was having trouble learning to walk. So I took her to her classes and she HATED it! She was soooo mad at me. And she refused to do anything that the instructor asked (or begged) her to do. She is STILL hard-headed…and I see no end in sight.
  7. The day my first love broke up with me in high school. Who DOESN’T remember that feeling?
  8. My first kiss on vacation in Florida. Her name was Skye. I couldn’t stop thinking about her for months. And Bryan Adams’ “Reckless” was the album of that summer and I played it nonstop.
  9. Playing basketball at Ohio University and going up for a layup and getting bumped just enough that my back gave out. It was the worst pain I have ever felt and I had to literally crawl back to my car, drive home, and then have my best friend drive me home to go see my doctor. That totally sucked.
  10. Buying my first cassette with my own money. What was it? Supertramp’s double live album “Paris”. Don’t laugh…you know you love “Take The Long Way Home”.
  11. Taking my family to Walt Disney World and my parents joined us. So many vacations spent at the Mouse House when I was younger and so many good memories and now I get to start some new memories with MY kids. What an awesome event. And taking my kids to see “Country Bear Jamboree” with Grandma was a highlight!

Some historical moments that I remember? How about the Challenger exploding right after liftoff. Ronald Reagan getting shot. OJ Simpson in his white Ford Bronco cruising through Los Angeles with a parade of cop cars behind him. Michael Jackson’s hair catching on fire during that Pepsi commercial. Oliver North’s hand raised in the courtroom during the Iran-Contra hearings.  President-elect Barack Obama accepting his Presidential nomination.

So many other memories are now flooding in and I could go on, but I won’t. Some are good, some are bad, but it’s a life, MY life…and there will hopefully be many more great things to come. Okay…so I’m gonna be 40. It’s not gonna be so bad. People turn 40 every day and have lived to tell about it. So I imagine I’ll be fine. Although I do have to wonder…when does my midlife crisis start? ‘Cause I want that red convertible!!!

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21 Responses to A Pirate Looks At 40

  1. Almost 40??
    Damn, you’re old.
    I just turned 24!

  2. Tammy says:

    Welcome to the club, old man. Life only gets better from here… really.

    … and Super Tramp rocked!!

  3. Blah la Blah says:

    Happy Early Birthday!
    Thanks for sharing some memories. They made me smile.

  4. mandy says:

    You should have joined the “29 Club” while you had the chance big (read: older) brother! Kat & I refuse to be as graceful as you are about this whole “aging” thing.

  5. Happy Birthday! Go buy yourself a convertible, it will ease the pain of a milestone birthday.

  6. Happy Birthday! Welcome to the Big Kids Club!

    My 40th birthday – I had an appointment with the eye doctor. Guess what? I needed bifocals. Man, if that wasn’t a kick in the pants….

  7. mop master says:

    Happy Birthday!! Hope the next 40 or 60 years have been as eventful and rewarding as the last 40. 🙂

  8. Happy (almost) 40th Birthday but why you gotta make it sound like you’ve got 6 months to live? Geezzz……40 is the new 30 so you’re still a youngster with a long ways to go. Hopefully. 😉

    Now, just turn 40 already and stop making me feel so damn old!! LOL

  9. heather says:

    Oh they just refurbished the Country bears, and I didn’t get to see it! The kids always hated it, thought it was dorky and tragic. I loved it, but the sound track was so awfully degraded, I was looking forward to seeing if it was better now. We meant to go back to it, but the park was so crowded we left early and I had forgotten about it in my haze of painful feet.

  10. ashley says:

    Happy birthday!!!

  11. alan says:

    Best 40 years of my life!!!! You made my house a HOME. Will always love you little Al….Mom

  12. Mr. F says:

    Top Memories of Alan
    1) Forcing me to sllep in my own bed. He stayed up as long as I can remember to ensure I didn’t creep back into mom and dads bed.
    2) Dunking over me at the middle schools basketball court.
    3) Taping radio stations while heading south for Florida in our motorhome.
    4) Never working in the restaurant. Ever.
    5) Smacking me with his class ring for being “uncool” in his rusty VW bug, irony.
    6) Fighting a kid for picking on Ruth Ann, our sister.
    7) Sneaking into Die Hard, that was badass.
    8) Watching me play well during a basketball game at the local fieldhouse.
    9) Beating me at golf on his wedding day, lightning will only strike there once buddy.
    10) Sitting on the front porch swing with a wiffle ball bat after some stupid arguement with dad, I laughed then as well.
    11) Giving me his Subaru XT GL, I then killed it. Sorry.
    12) Letting me live with him while I took classes in Cincy, he said it was ok to smoke in his apartment until he realized that I was honestly a smoker. I think I killed one of his cats.
    13) Seeing Alan with Christopher. You can see he loves being a dad, even when he tells his kids to sit down – shut up – and smile for the camera! Classic.
    14) Attending his class reunion golf outing, great day.
    15) The day he chased Steph to Arizona, the thought of time zone seperation sucked. Not that he spends much time in this one anyhow.
    16) ‘Very Bad Things’ press showing. Greatest response to any film ever by the audience, absolute silence during the end credits. Still love that movie.
    17) Thriller “video WORLD premier”, let us kids in the house while babysitting to see it. It ended and out we went. God he was excited.
    18) Watching him throw a football. 10 feet, total duck.
    19) Having me as his best man, oddly enough THAT made me nervous. I guess I was scared to stand wrong while nobody looked at me.
    20) Every late night phone call we have while he is trekking back home from work. I once had his route on google maps to follow his progress from Tenn. to Kentucky.
    21) Breakdancing/pink shirt/you have all heard these.
    22) Ramping the hill on Millers Lane!
    23) Getting me a job at WHIZ
    24) The day I beat him at basketball on his own court.
    25) The couch photo, it explains everything.

    Happy 40th brother, you still have killer hair.

    • Alan says:

      In my old age, I don’t remember ANY of these moments. You sure you’re MY brother? Oh wait…I DO recall getting you that job at WHIZ…but other than that….

  13. Amber says:

    My top memories of Alan: Every moment I get to spend with him! You made our childhood really special. After all, not every little girl gets to sit with the cheerleaders at her brothers basketball games, or have a brother who would always buy her ice cream if the ice cream truck came near, or do anything else he could to make her happy. You know I love you, Alan! Happy early B-Day! A thousand hugs and kisses from miles away!!!

  14. Kim aka Betty says:

    Happy Birthday Al!

    I have a few memories too. The old Red Bug. Working at WHIZ Radio with you on Saturday nights. Hanging out at OU-Z. Hanging out at the restaurant. Dancing to Bobby Brown. 🙂

    If you are turning 40 that means I’m not far behind . . . so when you get that Red Convertible make sure to come pick me up for a road trip!!

    Love ya man!!!

  15. Tessa says:

    Happy 40th, Alan. You’re now a member of the xl club (xl = Latin for 40, geddit?? Ah forget it.)

    They say life begins at 40, and who am I to argue? You have a great family to help you over the hump.

  16. Mr F says:

    You really don’t remember your class reunion LAST YEAR?! Man, 40 is hitting you like a ton of bricks!
    Who are you?
    Where am I?!
    Leave me alone , I am 40!?

    Seriously…half the time I have no idea where I am!

  17. heather says:

    You don’t look 40. =)

    Thank you! You are my new bestest friend!

  18. Danielle-lee says:

    Awwwwww. How sweet!
    I may have to steal this on my next birthday.
    Happy Birthday Alan!! Thank you for sharing with us!

    You’re welcome!

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