What The Heck…Chipotle?

Yes…I know…EVERYONE loves Chipotle! And that includes myself! I can’t get enough of those steak burrito bowls with the steak and the beans and the rice and the sour cream and the cheese and the guacamole! Just totally delicious! However I have a couple of issues with Deco Taco (seriously…the decor is like IKEA on crack!) and I have to get them out.

#1 Issue: Nobody apparently speaks English. Now normally, if I’m going to a Mexican food restaurant and the hired help speaks fluent Spanish, I’m okay with this. But Chipotle is NOT high end Mexican food. It is a fast food joint. I know what I’m getting before I ever set foot in the door. Yet somehow, when I go to order, they person taking my order always looks at me like he/she has no idea what I’m talking about.

Imagine broken English in this translation of a recent order…

“Yes…I’d like a burrito bowl with steak, please.”

“You want burrito?”

“No. A burrito bowl.”

“Oh…steak burrito, no?”

“No! I want a burrito BOWL!!”

“Oh…okay. Burrito bowl. And you want beans?”

“Yes. And steak.”

“Steak burrito. No beans?”

“No! Wait. Here…(imagine me slowing my speech down as if that will help him understand) I want a…STEAK BURRITO BOWL WITH BEANS.”

“Ooooh. Very good. And you want beans too…right?”

Seriously…enough with this already. I want what I want, not whatever the hell they THINK I want and the process of getting this done is somewhat infuriating. I love me some Chipotle…but the thought of having to order makes me want to go somewhere else almost everytime!

Issue #2: And then there’s the after effects. Chipotle adds so much onion in all of their salsa’s (even the light salsa has a ton!), that my breath is NASTY afterwards! Seriously…I’m tasting onions for days! I can’t take it! I brush maybe 5 times a day after eating at Deco Taco and I still can’t get rid of the aftertaste!

Issue #3: And then…not 30 minutes later…you can find me in the bathroom for at least 20 minutes as the food does damage to my innards. Not a pleasant thought, I know, but one that has to be mentioned. It ain’t pretty…and it sure don’t smell like roses!

So there ya have it. 3 good reasons why Chipotle, as much as I love it, is NOT good for me. But I hear the stock is through the roof! So…at least it has that going for it!

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3 Responses to What The Heck…Chipotle?

  1. I have never been there. Sounds like I’m not missing anything!!

    You…have never…been to a Chipotle???? Who are you and what continent do you live on??? 🙂

  2. Mom says:

    It’s the onions, silly!! Try ordering without onion. Of course, I doubt they make it that way, and you would probably spend your entire lunch break trying to explain it, but EVERYBODY know onions not only disturb the buds in your mouth, but also the buds in your bowels. Remember the sliders? Onions made them good and onions made you go, and go, and go.

  3. RUTH ANN says:

    MIke and I eat at chipolte at least 3-4 times a month. he works out of Columbus so he probaly eats there more and just does not tell me because I will be jealous. Now the Zanesville chip. actually has all americans working there, BUT be prepared to wait it seems like every time we go they are out of food, which is not bad because we get fresh, but speed it up. Your should try ours when you come home to visit. i love me some chipolte

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