Let’s Just Call It “Even”

I’ll trade you a goat for some coffee creamer…

Barack Obama takes office this month and today there is talk of a $775 billion stimulus package to be put into affect to bolster our economy. But I have a better idea and a simpler solution…let’s just call it even!

Now before you start laughing at me…hear me out. The way I figure it, EVERYONE is up to their ears in some kind of debt, right? We have mortgages being foreclosed on. We have credit cards being maxed out. We have our country owing “Country A” a gazillion dollars and “Country B” owing the United States a gazillion dollars. It’s all just WAY too confusing for anybody to keep track of and, quite honestly, we’re NEVER gonna be able to get out of debt, even if we paid off hundreds of dollars every day! So I say we just call it even.

No more debt for anyone! If you were dumb enough to go buy a house that you couldn’t afford, consider it your lucky day. For all those third world countries that owe us big time moolah…you get outta jail free. For all those countries that we owe money too…well…tough luck. We ALL break even and can start from scratch! Everyone wins! Well…I’m sure somebody loses…but who cares, right? The MAJORITY comes out on top and we can start over. All those companies that want our money? Gone. All those “get your paycheck early and pay us 50%” shops littering America? Gone. All the families that are struggling to make a living? Gone. All those jobs that used to belong to people but now the companies are folding because they are broke because we don’t have to pay them money? Gone.

Oh…wait…THAT doesn’t work!

Okay…maybe I should rethink this? How about the barter system? You trade me your house for some chickens and a few ITunes gift cards and a baby swing. Maybe THAT will work. Because in most third world countries, chickens make great meals and everyone loves music…right? As for the baby swing? I’m just throwing that in there as a gesture of good will. And because it’s been sitting in my garage for 3 years…

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2 Responses to Let’s Just Call It “Even”

  1. Tammy says:

    Totally off the subject, but every time I see Barack I see his lips. His brownish-purplish, dead dolphin-colored lips. And then I think of Michelle and I wonder what she thinks when she sees those lips moving in for a kiss. And then I feel nauseous. I don’t know why.

    HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! You want to KISS Barack Obama! You looooooove him…K-I-S-S-I-N-G…

  2. Danielle-Lee says:

    OMG, tammy’s comment made me laugh out loud in my very quiet late-night house. 🙂
    I so wish we could call most of the debt even. I also always ask, why the hell can’t the government just print more money? could THAT solve this problem? hell, i don’t know. it truly sucks though.
    (Tammy and Barack, sittin’ in a tree, K-I-S-S-I-N-G) Teehee

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