HUSBAND READER: Look…I realize that ‘Sports Illustrated’ has to sell magazines in order to meet it’s quota. And the Swimsuit edition is the “Super Bowl” in it’s arsenal. Scantily-clad models and sports figures, some wearing swimsuits, some wearing body paint, some not wearing ANYTHING (but positioned juuuuust right). So I guess I shouldn’t be surprised by this year’s cover. I mean…we KNEW it would come to this, right? So now…we have a really good-looking bikini model poised to take it all off, right here on the cover?!? Seriously???
I mean…she’s almost got it down to her hoo-ha, for crying out loud! And we can see that she has a tan line…but do we really need to? I mean, she would have looked just fine with her bikini bottom up and her hands on her hips. She is definitely a good-looking covergirl! Why get all “Playboy” on us? Now I can’t go buy this because my wife will think I’m bringing smut into the house!
Someone has to talk to the guys over at ‘SI’ and explain to them how this works. Wives do NOT want smut in the house. Wives do not CARE about sports magazines. So if you want me to buy your magazine, you can’t be having some hot chick flashing her…private AREAS…all over the cover! I can’t bring that home! I would be in the doghouse for MONTHS! You want me to buy your magazine, right?!?! Then tuck THIS picture somewhere in the middle! Maybe a pullout or something. ‘Cause then it’ not out there for the whole world to see! Geezuz…what are your editors thinking???
GUY READER: To the editors at Sports Illustrated…this cover is SMOKING HOT! Way to go!!!
HUSBAND READER: Hey! Stop that! Get back in my brain!!! Okay…so we’re clear here…hot pictures on the inside. No women’s hoo-ha’s on the outside. Right? Right…
GUY READER: Whatever. Awesome cover. You guys ROCK!
HUSBAND READER: *sigh*…nevermind…