A Trip To The Mouse House (A Father’s Lament)


crystal-palace-dinner-5
Pooh on you!

Sunny Florida. A wonderful trip to see Mickey and all his friends in the warm sunshine. Life is all good. Right? Well…of course it is! However…and I need to tread gently here…I have to say, as a father and husband who loves his family very much, a vacation to Walt Disney World is really not a whole lot of fun for the parent people.

This isn’t a stretch for most parents, right? I mean, I’m not the only horrible parent out there who thinks this, right? ‘Cause if I am…I’m gonna feel like a major ass-munch. But let me go on record, before I get into the meat of this blog, that I DID have fun with my family in Florida. And there were lots of laughs! And there were some great memories! However…I got issues. So in no particular order…here they are…

  • People are freakin’  rude as hell at WDW. I mean, at one point, my wife and daughter were almost run over by a pack of teenage girls at the American Idol Experience! Seriously? And not an “excuse me” or “sorry” was ever uttered by anyone except for 3 people (that I remember).
  • The bus schedule sucks. We waited at least 35 minutes 4 times for a bus to either come by our hotel (New Orleans Riverside) or to pick us up from the park. Why is that?
  • Where the hell did all the characters go? Last time we were at the park there was one around every corner! This time? Ummm…nothin’. Unless you go pay a small fortune for a meal where the characters visit your table (we did 2 of them)…then you can’t get a bite down because it’s one photo moment after another! Yeesh…
  • The Florida sunshine? Not so much. It rained pretty much every day except the day we left. And that day it was beautiful! Yay!
  • What is with all the crap at WDW? Everywhere you look there is all this crap at eye level so the kids can touch and grab and possibly break. Tell you what…here’s what I think about the “You break it, you buy it” rule…YOU put it within a 4-year old’s reach, you can bite me. ‘Nuff said.
  • And lastly…is there ANYTHING as annoying as THIS…?

“Can we go swim? I’m tired. Can I go pee? I have to pee. I really have to pee. Can we ride that again? High five. Down low. Too slow! Can we go swim? I want to go back and swim. Can I buy that? That is COOL! Can YOU buy that for me? It’s hot. Can we go swim? I don’t like this ride. Can we get off? I don’t like princesses. I don’t want to put my arm around her. I’m embarrassed. I have to go pee…again. Can I go splash in the fountain? I’m hungry. I’m thirsty. Can we get a snack? I want ice cream. I don’t. I want to go to the pool. Yay, it’s raining! Can we go swim? Daaaaaaaad…are you listening to me? ”

“Alan! Answer your kids!”

Repeat 578 times.

Ok…that’s out. Now…on to better memories and pictures!!!

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This entry was posted in Family Life, Kids, Konversations With Kids, My Life, Places. Bookmark the permalink.

6 Responses to A Trip To The Mouse House (A Father’s Lament)

  1. OMY! You are too funny. And I thought I was jealous of your vacay…mmmm not so much now.

  2. Amber says:

    I’m still excited to take Erik to his first Disney trip, but then I do have a few years to prepare.

  3. Liz C says:

    You are not an ass-munch*! When I go to hell, it will be WDW or something of that ilk. And there will be at least one kid between the ages of 4 and 8 waiting there to accompany me throughout eternity. And it will be Spring Break.

    The good part: as time passes, the memories (at least the kids’) will become rosier and rosier and it will seem more and more worth it. 🙂

    Good job, Dad!

    (*Well, if you’re an ass-munch, than so am I.)

  4. mom says:

    Alan: times 6. To: Liz C: No they don’t. I never want to go to Disney with kids again. Sorry Amber. All I remember of WDW is the stroller packed with everyone’s junk and my kid on my hip. Maybe one on each hip. I sat on a bench cooing to my babies while the rest of the clan went and had fun. Alan asked me how I did it. Welllllllllll. Mommies are always mommy. Still love all of you, though!!!

  5. I hate doing all that stuff too so add me to the bad parent list. I live in the OC and rarely to disney. Too much hassle, too many tourists, too expensive. I’m a bad mom …

  6. heather says:

    You are NOT kidding about the rudeness at WDW! It’s unbelievable. And the bus system, yeah, that can be a joke sometimes. Despite that, it’s been less than 5 months and I’m ready to go back. I promised my husband no more for a long time though. =(

    Oh…and we’ll TOTALLY go back! But man! It’s exhausting!

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