I was driving to work this morning and saw a billboard. On it was a baby and in large letters “God Is Pro-Life!” (or something to that affect). And this made me wonder…did they ask him/her? How do they know that God doesn’t agree with abortion? And the reason I wondered this isn’t because I was trying to be funny…but because I really want to know. Who…asked…God?
Here’s the thing. I was raised in the Catholic church. Went to Catholic school. Been to my share of masses and holy day services and catechisms and baptisms and all of that. Heard lots of verses and hymns. I honestly cannot quote anything from the bible…but I can’t quote much from Stephen King’s “The Stand” either and it’s my favorite book of all time. So I guess you could say that maybe I am ignorant when I ask this question…but I want to know…who called God and asked? Because someone apparently did and then he okay’ed the purchase of this giant sign on I-75.
Then I wondered…What if no one asked? Or even better yet…what if millions of people asked and no one answered (which is probably more than likely)? So now I have added a totally new spin on this question because obviously someone asked and since I am assuming that they didn’t get a response, they apparently ASSUMED that God wouldn’t endorse abortion and decided to put up the billboard.
Oooookay. So now I got a bunch of people assuming something that they have no right assuming and purchasing billboards and telling me what I should or shouldn’t believe because what they THINK is what God would say is what they are going with. So now I am led to believe that really God more than likely did not respond so people got it in their heads that it was their right to spread this word that God doesn’t endorse abortion when really they have no idea and you see where I’m going with this.
I’m not gonna say one way or the other who is right or wrong here. I honestly don’t care one way or another what you might think of abortion. Is it good or bad? Who knows. And I am not opposed to someone spending their hard-earned cash for a giant sign to publicly announce what THEIR belief is either. I’m fine with that. It is America, after all.
But here’s the rub…What If…there is no God? What if those of us who are “God-fearing” Christians are only “God-fearing” because we have nothing else to believe in? I’ve spent years wondering about the existence of God. Or “A” God. Is there really such a thing? Or is this all there is? Maybe we have our 5 minutes and then in a flash…it’s gone. No heaven, no hell, no purgatory, no being brought back as a lion or small plant. It’s just…over?
My first inclination as a Christian has always been to want to believe. But there is another part of me, the more sane part I think, that wants to think the only thing the church really has done is make me fear death. Because if I live my life the way I believe a good person should (which is, in my way of thinking, being honest, caring and loving to others), it shouldn’t really matter if I go to church every Sunday or once every blue moon. I am doing what, in MY mind, is the best that I can. I think if there IS a God, he/she would see what I am up too and be quite happy with me.
But now I’m driving and I’m questioning…What if? What if this IS it? What’s the point? We grow up, get old, have a few friends, drink a few rounds, have a couple of kids, buy a house or two, take a vacation and then that’s it? I’m wondering…is that such a bad thing? I mean, obviously I would LOVE to go to heaven and live on for eternity on a cloud playing golf and enjoying the friendship of angels. But that just seems kind of absurd to me. I honestly doubt a God is gonna let me live it up on Cloud 9 without something to fill my days. A free, all paid vacation forever on God? Sounds veeeery enticing!
It’s all one, big vicious circle in my head. Is there a God? Or is this all we get?
And then I realize that I’ve almost run into the guy driving too slowly in the passing lane directly ahead of me and all of this almost drifted out of my head as I cussed him out under my breath.
So I shall continue to think about this belief of God. I’m not gonna say I believe or don’t believe. Of course I would love for there to be more. Maybe not necessarily for myself, but for my wife and kids and family and friends. I would love to see them all again somewhere on Cloud 9. And I would like to believe that there is a power that would love to have me right along with everyone else! However you have to wonder…and then continue to live your life the way you see fit.
So what if there is no God as we have come to think of it? What if we just are. What if there is no after or before? What if science is just the way it is and we go on and on, marching forward until we fall and then that’s it? Is it so bad? Why do we fear death so much? I know I do! But why? Because I don’t understand it? Because there is that possibility that this is it?
Damn…so many thoughts and no answers. But I have put a call in to God and left a message. When he gets back to me, I’m gonna take out a billboard and let you all know what he said…and I’m pretty sure it will have nothing to do with abortion. And then it will be YOUR turn to figure it out…
Apparently he called back…