And Then A Giant Snake ATE His Face!

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Okay…so maybe that DIDN’T actually happen…but I thought it was going too! I mean…this snake was like…100 feet long (more or less)…and has giant fangs that shoot venom at a victim’s eyes from 50 feet away! It was HUGE!!! I was definitely in fear of my life!!! Which is why I went and got my brother and brother-in-law and let THEM poke and prod this thing with a stick until finally my brother got it up on the branch and placed it oh so gently into a tuft of grass so that it could graze on mice next to my parents house.

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It was a MONSTER!

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Here snakey, snakey…

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Tell me you did NOT just try to grab his tail!!!

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Yeah…you BETTER be backing up!

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Poke me one more time you sunofa…

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Closer…getting very close now…and…CURL INTO A BALL!

ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!?! If I were my parents, I couldn’t sleep at night knowing THAT monster is out there…waiting…lurking…ready to spit deadly venom at a seconds notice…right at my eyeballs…from 50 feet…

Scary stuff….and luckily I had my camera for insurance documentation for a later date…

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4 Responses to And Then A Giant Snake ATE His Face!

  1. mom says:

    I know you brought that thing up from Ky. without even knowing it attached itself to the underbody of your car!!! By the way, I saw it crawing back to your car while you were sleeping!!! Go look in your garage, Alan. Take your camera or a stick. Whichever is the safer for you. Your little brother can’t protect you down in Ky. Of course, you could call on Christopher or Ava or even Steph if you feel too threatened!!! Just kidding you son. I know you are fearless! As long as your attacker is at least 50 feet away. Love…….mom

  2. Ruth Ann says:

    WTF, why didnt you just chop off his head, i sure won`t be bringing Bella over to play now, it might eat her!!!!!! LOL
    Drove bye the old farm today to go to the cottage, WOW what a dump it has become, broken down cars and a trashy trailer in the yard, it makes me ill thinking how much care and love dad put in to that place for someone to let it turn to shit!!!!

  3. amber says:

    Now that I see the snake, it is an Ohio rat snake. It eats vermin, and is not poisonous. Yes, Ruth, do not leave Bella unattended, it would eat her!

  4. Just so stinking…wrong. And…ugh. Snakes are NOT cool.

    I don’t care how hot Jeff Corwin is….touchie snake = no touchie Holly.

    Better not touchie Holly! You’re married!

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