Today my kids and I embarked on a dangerous adventure.
Did we brave the wilds of Africa? No.
Did we climb to the top of the highest mountain? No.
Did we attempt to raft down a thunderous river? Nope.
What exactly did we do then?
Well…we cleaned their rooms.
Oh I know. THAT’S not an adventure! Right? That’s what you are thinking, right? Well…it is if you’ve ever been IN one of my kids’ rooms. Actually, my kids aren’t really dirty children, they just have a lot of crap toys and stuff. So after a while, things tend to get a little cluttered. So today…we cleaned. And we did a great job! However, there is something I would like to point out to anyone who is gonna give gifts at a birthday party or as a Christmas gift or at a bar mitzvah…
Legos and Polly Pockets SUCK as gifts!
Allow me to explain. I give a toy usually a shelf life of about 2 weeks, depending on the toy, of course. If the toy is a Nintendo DS, it better last about 3 years. But for most over-the-counter, run-of-the-mill toys, on average…2 weeks. Because kids just don’t have an attention span for anything under $20. And usually (not always), most gifts that are given to them are under or around $20. Right? Right.
So what costs under $20 that you can get ANY child and it seems really cool when they open it, but then, after 4 days, has lost several pieces or is strewn from one room to the other, all tossed without a care into various corners of the house? Well…one could argue that just about ANY toy could be that. However I would argue that most toys are about 5 pieces or less. Remote control cars…2 pieces. Baby that drinks & pees…3 pieces. Videogame…1 piece. Barbie doll…5 pieces max.
But not a Legos playset or Polly Pocket dolls. Noooo…these suckers have multiple parts that all need to be organized in a Polly Pocket carrier or a Lego box. There are 2 arguments against these toys and here they are…
- Legos: If you lose any pieces, the damn thing is a waste. Seriously…you give a 7-year old something that requires more than 10 minutes of his attention, then you can pretty much expect him to start throwing things in the air, launching lazer blasters at the dog and skewering toy action figures with flagpoles. Nothing that has over 50 pieces stands a chance of EVER getting put together!
- Polly Pockets: Aren’t so much toys as they are walking hazards. If I told you how many PP pieces I have walked on while trying to get from one room in my house to the next, you would cringe. Those damn things HURT and if I have to stifle one more cry while tiptoeing through my sleeping daughters room to get something, I’m gonna take a torch to every little PP toy in the house!
So as much as you think you are buying a gift that anyone can use, let me give you a few words of advice…college scholarship fund. That’s right. Don’t even bother with a crappy gift! Just give cash to the college scholarship fund of said child and call it a day. At least then you know it will be going to good use. And if I were a betting man, I would think that a good education would trump crappy plastic toys any day. Maybe not at initial unwrapping, but definitely down the road when books are needed and cost $300 a shot!
What are YOUR thoughts on Legos vs Polly Pockets? Which would you buy for someone for a birthday gift? Which would you rather receive?