This Was Supposed To Be A Post About My Daughter But Instead It’s About Me


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How I Feel Today…

So originally I was gonna tell you all about how Ava had been to get x-rays twice in 3 days. First time for the penny she decided to use as a breath mint. The second time for her ankle after she jumped off the monkey bars at the park the other evening. Fortunately, she is fine on both accounts, so really that story is somewhat irrelevant now. Instead I wanna talk to you about food poisoning. Or, at least, that’s what I think I have right now as I am typing this.

To put it mildly…food poisoning can suck it because this has been a miserable day. I dunno what I ate last night, but whatever it was, it has taken control of my bodily functions and turned my stomach inside out.

Granted…I DID go out with some friends after work last night. And there was alcohol there. And there were snacks. But no one else at the party got sick and I didn’t eat anything out of the ordinary there, so I doubt that is the culprit. So I have to imagine it was my salad that I got at the grocery that has caused this awfulness that I feel right now. So rule #1…don’t eat salads from the salad bar at my local Kroger. Anyway…let’s just skip to the juicy details…

7am. I wake in a pool of sweat. My stomach feels like its ready to explode. So I crawled out of bed and wobbled uncontrollably managed to get to the bathroom and it got pretty ugly. Let’s just say it was coming from everywhere and leave it at that. And eventually my body ran out of stuff to get rid of but for some odd reason it felt compelled to try to FORCE me to get rid of more! I don’t know what THAT was all about, but needless to say, it gave me a pounding headache. I tried to go back to bed, but as soon as my head hit the pillow, the room starting spinning like a Tilt-O-Whirl out of control! So I hurried back to the bathroom and began to sweat profusely. Seriously…it was like I just ran a 5 K marathon. Sweat pouring out of my body like my insides had erupted or something. So then I got into the shower and took a nice, cool power-shower to cool off. But then when I went to get out, I was freezing! So I hurried BACK to the bedroom, crawled under the covers and tried to force myself to focus so the room would stop spinning.

With no luck.

BACK to the bathroom I went, this time informing my wife (who was still sleeping during all this) that I thought I was dying and I just wanted her to know I love her and hope she can do well without me.

She did not find that amusing.

After several more days hours minutes in the bathroom, and after much more dry-heaving, FINALLY my body decided I had had enough and allowed me to go in a lay down long enough for me to get some sleep. When I woke up, it was after noon. I texted a co-worker to ask him to work for me and stayed in bed for another 4 hours! I have never laid in bed so long in my life! I got up and hauled my butt into the living room to watch some tv, only I still feel nauseous and I’m still dizzy. What the hell is going on??? I’ve tried eating a few things. Some chicken noodle soup didn’t smell good in the least. Believe it or not, I was craving something salty and dry. So I popped some popcorn and rented a movie (“Knowing”) and sat on the couch until now. And I STILL don’t feel so good.

Needless to say, once this is out of my system, I am probably gonna be STARVING. But for now, I’m just gonna call it a night and try to get lots of sleep. Hopefully it will be gone by tomorrow and I continue living. As for my daughter’s foot? She is doing fine and is limping a bit, but mom is icing it and watching her closely. As for the penny? Well…let’s just say my face was where that sucker should be and I didn’t see it anywhere, so it’s safe to assume she still shouldn’t be going through airport security.

And that, as they say, is that.

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3 Responses to This Was Supposed To Be A Post About My Daughter But Instead It’s About Me

  1. kat says:

    thinking of you and hoping you feel better in the morning! love you!!!

  2. Ewww…hope you are feeling better. Be sure you try to drink even if you don’t feel like it. That’s how Vol Fan landed in the hospital for 2 days. He was spewing like there was no tomorrow and got dehydrated!

  3. Julie Gregory says:

    I guess I’m a terrible person- the story of your unfortunate digestive issues has me crying from laughing so hard. With any luck you won’t see Ava’s penny up close and personal!

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