Konversations With Kids: If He Lost His Head…


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My son is trying to drive me crazy…I swear!!!

Actually…this ISN’T about a particular conversation. Actually…this is about my son and his head. Because I do believe that if it wasn’t screwed on tightly…he would have no idea where it was. And he would have no idea where to begin to look for it. Or why it was even lost in the first place. Or if he even HAD a head to lose to begin with.

Prime example #1: Walking home from school

There’s a shortcut from our house to his school that leads us into a neighbors yard, through a wooded area and up into a different yard and POOF! We’re at his school. So the other day we were walking home from school and Christopher has his backpack and a sweatshirt. He has the backpack on his back (appropriately enough) and is swinging his sweathshirt to and fro. We enter the woods and there are leaves and branches all over so I have to be careful where to step because I don’t want to fall and kill myself. So I scope out the easiest path through the woods. Once we get to the other side, I look over at Christopher (who has been talking about football the entire time) and he has his backpack on his back…but no sweatshirt.

Me: “Uh…Christopher? Where’s your sweatshirt?”

Christopher: “Huh?”

Me: “Your sweatshirt. You know…that thing you wear to school in the morning to keep you from getting cold?”

Christopher: (Now looking at me dumbfounded) “I don’t know. I thought I had it.”

Me: “You DID have it when we went into the woods. How did you lose it?”

Christopher: “Uh…(looking around at me, then behind him, then at his feet as if the sweatshirt is gonna magically appear)…I dunno.” (shrugs shoulders)

Me: “Well…you might want to head back and see if you can find it. I don’t think your mom will be happy if you leave it behind.”

Christopher: “Okay…” (And he trudges back into the woods)

So I wait a for maybe 30 seconds and I see him kicking some leaves aside. Now…if he thinks that I am gonna wait for him to kick aside piles of leaves all afternoon looking for something that should be directly in his line of sight he’s crazy. Or he’s totally lost his mind. Either way, I trudge back into the woods, glance about 30 feet in front of him and say…

Me: “It’s right there.” (As I look directly at it)

I swear to you, that boy turns and looks directly in front of his feet and says to me…

Christopher: “Where? I don’t see it.”

Without even LOOKING anywhere! Are you KIDDING me?!?! What is going on in his brain? Is there a switch that has been turned off that needs to be flipped? Because here lately, I do believe there are some bulbs that need replaced. He has gotten almost to the point where I don’t even know what to say half the time. Did I do this when I was his age? Tthis kind of interaction drives me BONKERS!

Where?

Gee…I dunno…maybe…like…RIGHT IN FRONT OF YOU!!!???  AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!

The End

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3 Responses to Konversations With Kids: If He Lost His Head…

  1. Badass Geek says:

    Sounds like me when I was a kid.

  2. So he takes after his dad?
    : )

  3. kensi says:

    sounds like most kids his age….

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