What The Heck…Sex Addiction?

Remember…SHE beat HIM with a club. He was just having harmless sex…

Our country is in an economic depression. Health insurance rates are through the roof. Haiti just got run over by an earthquake. And what is everyone talking about BESIDES Conan & Jay Leno? Tiger Woods is apparently entering into a sex rehab center in Arizona. The center is called the Meadows Rehabilitation Center in Wickenburg and many a star has found himself there. David Duchovny & Eric Benet (Halle Berry’s ex-hubby) have been known to hang out there and we can only imagine who else.

Now I’m not one to make fun of ANY addiction however I have to wonder about this one. Seriously…doesn’t this just seem like a public relations scam? A guy of Tiger’s stature seems beneath this. I’m not sure but what IS sex addiction anyways? Seeing as how I’m not in complete understanding of this…I went and looked it up. Sex addiction, as described by the bastion of all knowledge… Wikipedia, is actually “a form of obsessive compulsive disorder and is referred to as sexual compulsivity. Still other experts believe that sex addiction is itself a myth, a by-product of cultural and other influences.” Ooooor bad publicity (I added this part).

But I digress.

So Tiger is a sex addict. He slept with…uh…how many women now? Is it up in the 20’s yet? Ahhhh…who cares. Look, far be it for me to judge. I’m gonna go swinging on a vine here and tell you, I could care less who Tiger slept with. It’s none of my damn business. This is between he and his smokin’ hot but totally pissed off lovely wife. If he wants to go out and put his johnson where it don’t belong, why should I care? But there it is…slapped all over the evening news like it’s some breaking news flash that Tiger Woods, the multi-gazillionaire star athlete who travels the world and is known from China to Anarctica by everyone who has ever held a remote in their paws, has been having affairs with OTHER beautiful women.

Oh…now there’s something new. What? A celebrity is getting busy outside of his own home? Seriously? Wow…THAT is something totally different.

And now he’s going to a sex addiction clinic. For what?!?!

It’s our nature to want to sleep with as many people as we possibly can! It’s in our genes! What you decide to do about it is your own business. Some choose to be faithful. Some choose to stray. It’s a choice. Not an addiction. Sex is just sex. We all want it or occasionally wish to participate in it. It’s not like it’s something new. I’m pretty sure people have been having sex for thousands of years. I can’t say I’ve researched it, but it’s a safe bet that tadpoles did it, then monkeys, then Adam & Eve, and so on and so forth. It’s from whence we came, my friends…so people DO it. Unless you live in North America where apparently it’s a bad thing. We have no problems with violence and shootings and killing but you put a naked boob on national television (hellooooo Janet!) and all hell breaks loose. Cmon…are you kidding me?

Sex addiction my ass. Tiger is a hot-blooded all-American male and he can pretty much have sex with whoever or whatever he wants. He’s not “addicted” to sex. If the man is guilty of anything it’s that he used his celebrity status to get into the pants of some pretty damn good-looking women and  then he got caught and his wife beat him with his own golf club. So in that regard he’s an idiot at best. But not sexually addicted. And I have to wonder…what kind of treatment do you get at sex addict school anyways? Do they sit a naked woman in front of you and when you try to approach they hit a little zapper that’s attached to your wanker? I mean…really? How does this work because I’m curious. Do they sit around and talk about porn? Or do they spend hours discussing the hundreds of women that they’ve been with that nobody still knows about? I don’t get it.

Anyway…to Tiger Woods I say…don’t waste your money. You’re gonna need it for the settlement. Sex addiction is a joke. We all know it but for some reason everyone is all fascinated with your exploits so good luck with that. But I don’t get it. It’s not sex addiction if you do what comes naturally. On the other hand, maybe the PR will do you some good and we’ll see ya back on the course at Augusta. What do you say? And then you put all this behind you and get back to doing what you do best…swinging your club. I mean, putting the ball in the holes. Wait! I mean….oh…nevermind…

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5 Responses to What The Heck…Sex Addiction?

  1. Yeah, I think he’s just doing it as a way to try to get his wife back. Oh look honey! I’m addicted! I couldn’t help myself! whatev.

  2. mom says:

    I think you are so funny!!! I have to agree with the other golfers in the field, tho. He has to come out and say “I made a mistake, so lets get on with it. We are at work now, so let us play our contest.” Those golfers are “on the job” and I sure wouldn’t want to miss a million dollar putt because some heckler yelled out “Hey Tiger, got any new girls,” or some such thing. Oh yeah.Heard a joke. Tiger’s name isn’t Tiger anymore. It’s cheetah.Love…..mom

  3. Does it have anything to do with Tiger being half Thai? I’m Thai and always thought Thai men were two timers.

  4. Rico says:

    A bit belated, but I would recommend watching South Park’s “Sexual Healing” episode. It’s their take on this whole “sex addiction” thing.

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