Homeworking


I’m 41 years old. I’ve been out of school since 1991. Since then, I’ve had maybe 14 days of training at various jobs and other than that? Nuthin’.

Until now.

I’m not gonna lie…my wife handles this most of the time, but occasionally I find myself helping my 7-year old with his homework. And ya wanna know something? I forget just about everything I ever learned at that age. Christopher is bringing home assignments that have to do with faces of triangles and measuring paths with paper clips and < & >. I know at some point the > sign has probably been used by engineers or homebuilders or something, but I’ve never used them a day in my life. So I don’t remember which is greater or the lesser and I don’t really care. But now I am required to remember all this crap and I am struggling.

Stephanie, on the other hand, is a whiz at this stuff. You’d think she actually IS in 2nd grade the way she helps him with his work. And that is great! But when she’s not around and he asks me to estimate how many paperclips it would take to get through the park? Honestly, I have no idea.Is it an ACTUAL park? Or just the one on his homework paper. How many square acres is it? Does it have a fence? How do we know where the park ends? It’s questions like this that go through my mind as he stares at me like I’m an idiot.

So this scares me because it’s 2nd grade! It’s not 7th grade where he’ll be asking me astrology questions (the Big Dipper has how many constellations?) or questions about the 5th President of the United States (Monroe, right?). These are EASY questions he needs help with and I’m stumped. So when they break out the geometry? I’m screwed.

Why is it they don’t teach him about movie trivia, music from 1965-2010, how to balance a budget with no income and/or starting a blog and sticking with it? THOSE topics I can help him with.

>???

Um…no.

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3 Responses to Homeworking

  1. I always confuse the signs. Always.

  2. mom says:

    The trick is, son, HELP him. Do not do it for him. A great question I always asked you kids was: How many do YOU think? How far do YOU think? etc. Get an answer from your kid, then go from there. The whole idea of helping is to get the kid THINKING. No one does good homework when no one else is interested. So you don’t need to know the answers. You just need to get him/Ava, interested in THINKING about it. Just sayin’….Love, mom P.S. It is always good to start your question with…hmmmm…How …like you are interested in what he has to say (of course you are, so that should be easy)

  3. kat says:

    > is the alligator eating you so it is greater. < is the alligator running away from you so it is lesser. that's how I always remembered it. Oh, and the big dipper is a constellation. I think you may have meant the milky way. That's right, I'm playing the smarty pants card.

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