Forget texting and using your phone and eating and fixing your makeup and all the OTHER stuff you can do while driving your car. For me, the most distracting thing on the road these days (shy of a group of women standing out of the sunroof of their limo and flashing their boobs while I’m driving. Which really happened when I was in Louisville last week. But I digress…) are these stupid LED billboards that are HUGE and sit right in my line of sight and then change every 5 seconds. While I’m driving? Seriously?
First off…how the hell am I supposed to read ANYTHING in a matter of seconds and be able to process it and know what it was? Even when I’m sitting in my living room, if there is a commercial on television and it’s not longer than :15 seconds, I’m pretty sure I’m not gonna know what it was about. Now stick me behind the wheel of a car going 70 and throw something in front of me and you know what I see? Colors. That’s it. I don’t see anything else. I might see a face or a logo or possibly a word, but all that text you got up there? No idea what it says.
Now have it be around 10:30 at night. I’m driving along and one of these things is flashing up ahead and by the time I get past it, I’m BLIND because it’s so damn bright and now I gotta slow down to a crawl, possibly get rear-ended and my eyes are shot…for what? Whose idea was this? Because they should be strung up on one of these things FACING it and left to hang there with their retinas burning and their face peeling from the burn those damn LED’s cause.
I have to wonder…what is wrong with the old billboards? You know, the regular kind that they light up with some lights and you can read whatever as you drive by and then you’re on your way? Those work just fine for all of us. So why construct these traffic menaces that sit there and glare at us and force us to look their way, only to get nothing from it but blindness and a sense of confusion? I don’t get it. It’s pointless and they’re probably causing traffic accidents all over the world as we speak. So in MY mind, texting ain’t so bad considering the kind of damage these billboards cause. It’s only a matter of time before they start advertising Hooters or strip clubs or something up there and then men will be weaving all over the highway, trying to read the fine print that says when the next “ladies night” is happening. Oh wait…they’re already doing that. Know how I know? Because that was ME today, almost wrecking my car as a half naked woman popped up on the screen advertising Hooters wings as I was sipping my coffee. I almost spilled it on myself and then I drifted over into the other lane as I drove past it. I’m pretty sure the old lady in the car next to me was just as perplexed as I was!
C’mon Mr. Billboard Programmer! You can’t be doing that! Might as well have a car-full of women flashing me as I go by. It would get the same reaction!
Oh wait…that already happened.