Today I am 42 years old. Every year, as my birthdays come and go, I think of my mortality. I think about how I won’t be here forever and who will remember me when I’m gone. I think some people are consumed by the need to live forever, to fight Father Time and hang on to this life that we know. But not me. I wouldn’t know what to do with myself if I were to live forever. Instead I wonder about what happens next. Is it really over? Apparently there’s only one way to find out and I’m not ready for that just yet! But still…it’s there. And I think about it.
I’m not one to sit and think about the future. As I’ve mentioned many times, I am an extremely lucky person. When I die, I want everyone to know that I have had more experiences in my life than I ever thought I would. Life has been very good to me. I have 2 wonderful children and an amazing family that I love very much. I have great parents and I’m blessed that they adopted me, raised me and shaped me to be the man I am today. The friends I have known through my years have come and gone but every one of them has changed my life in some way. I think I’ve been a good person. I think I have tried to be the best I can be. Sometimes I have failed and at times I feel extremely lost, but I always approach life with as positive an attitude as I can. At times the tide has taken me and dropped me in places that I didn’t think I would go and I have wandered, watching in amazement, as things have fallen into place.
Life really is an amazing thing. When my son came along, my life changed for the better. Because of he and my daughter, I have become a different person. I think it’s for the better but there are times when I don’t know what is next for me. But that’s okay. Not everything can be planned. That’s the beauty of it. No one knows their final destination. No one can change the course of their future. All I can do is watch the time go by, the hands never stop, and hope that my good fortune and wonderment that I have for my life continues forward in a positive way.
I’m not perfect. Never claimed to be. But I do hope that in the end my life will be remembered by someone and they will think of me fondly. Today I turned 42. It’s not the end of my life nor is it the beginning. It’s just another round of the clock ticking, another turn of a page, another year to find new adventures. I have no idea what is in store for me…
And I’m okay with that.
This is MY crazy and wonderful life. It is what it has always been…exciting and unknown. And I am a very lucky man.