So Now I’m A What???


The other day, Stephanie (aka the woman who is married to me) mentioned to me that apparently the signs of the Zodiac have inexplicably changed. Oh I know…there will be all kinds of explanations and people telling you there’s a very good reason WHY the original lineup has changed but I call BS on that. It’s silly. Just like when the scientist decided Pluto isn’t really a planet, it’s just someone trying to justify why they have a job. So with great disdain, I am now an Ophic…

Ophifcui…

Ophicsuisas…

Hell…I don’t know. Apparently I’m something that is NOT a Sagittarius, which I’ve been my ENTIRE FREAKIN’ LIFE. So now someone decides to change my sign and no one checks with me??? That is just stupid.

Look…I know it doesn’t REALLY matter, but still…42 years I’ve been a Sagittarius and now I’m not. So now when I use the pickup line, “What’s your sign?” I am gonna have to RETHINK what my sign really is! Because now I’m NOT really a Sagittarius…now I’m a Ophiuchus (actual spelling. I copied & pasted it) because the Ophiuchus is the sign for anyone whose birthday falls between November 29 thru December 17. Sagittarius is from December 17 thru January 20 which means that my wife is now TRULY a Sagittarius (which, for some reason, makes her very happy). Before she was just FAKING it. Because before she liked to SAY she was a Sagittarius, but really she wasn’t. Really she was a … I dunno. Something NOT a Sagittarius. Aaaaanyway…so now since I’m a Ophiuchus….let’s see if it matches my personality…

  1. Many people are envious of this subject as he progresses well throughout life.
  2. A seeker of wisdom and knowledge
  3. Many people are jealous of this person
  4. Tends to go for the more flamboyant in dress sense, favouring bright colours.
  5. Authority looks upon him well.
  6. Would make a great architect or builder.
  7. Number 12 is this persons lucky number.
  8. This person will have a big family but leave home at an early age.

Soooo…let’s see…1 & 3 I have no idea. 2 is obviously a no. I wear 3 colors most of the time, so #4 is a no go. I’m thinking I do tend to agree with #5. But I can’t build ANYTHING, the number 12 is NOT my lucky number and I have a family of 4 and didn’t leave home until a year after college. So except for maybe #5, this is all null and void.

So dumb.

And so is this post…

If you really wanna read more: Ophiuchus – The 13th Sign of the Zodiac 2011
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3 Responses to So Now I’m A What???

  1. Amber says:

    The signs didn’t actually change, it is just the difference between eastern and western zodiac, and some astrologer says the eastern is more correct. Be what you want, I’ve always been a Scorpio and I am staying one. Chris got me a necklace from Asia that’s a scorpion fossilized in amber, so cool. You can’t fossilize a virgin in amber, that would be cruel. 😉

  2. Daniel says:

    This is the dawning of the age of Ophiuchus. Thanks for the mystic crystal revelations !!!

  3. afrankangle says:

    Great take on this. I got good news … no change. But then I received better news, an explanation.

    There are two zodiacs: tropical and constellation. The most commonly used is the tropical, yet the change was the constellation version … therefore, no change … and no Ophiwhatchamacallit.

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