My Acceptance Speech

Last night on the Golden Globes, Jodie Foster accepted the Cecil D. DeMille Lifetime Achievement Award. I’m not sure what that is but her acceptance speech has brought lots of conversation on the internet and the Facebook. I watched Ms. Foster’s speech and here’s what I gathered from her it…

She likes her privacy. She’s been in the entertainment industry for a really long time. She’s thankful for all of her co-workers. She’s gay. She’s 50. She’s single.

Here’s what I really think about Ms. Foster’s acceptance speech…

She can have her life, I don’t want to be a part of it. I’ve enjoyed her movies for many years and I appreciate that she’s good at her craft. I think it’s great that she likes her co-workers. In my opinion, having people you like around you makes the work that much more enjoyable. I don’t care if she’s gay. I don’t care that she’s 50. I don’t care that she’s single.

When Ms. Foster came up on stage after being introduced by Robert Downey, Jr. (a particularly funny intro, I might add), I was expecting her to be gracious and funny and appreciative. And she was, in a way. But it turned into a speech about privacy and I found it somewhat presumptuous that she thinks everyone wants a piece of her. I don’t want a part of her. She’s an actress. She makes a living acting like someone else. It’s weird how we glorify actors, actresses, athletes and government officials. I don’t get it and I’m a part of it in a very small way.

I think there is no one that loves Hollywood more than itself. With its multiple awards ceremonies and the red carpet affairs and the paparazzi. Hollywood knows that the world is watching and so it has a very high opinion of itself. Let me be the first to acknowledge that I am a fan of Hollywood. I love the film industry, I love music, I enjoy the occasional tv program. But I can honestly say that if Hollywood were to never broadcast another awards show with a bunch of people clamoring on a stage and accepting trophies for their ability to ACT like someone else, it wouldn’t kill me. And Ms. Foster’s speech last night was exactly why I think it’s now time to put priorities in place. We shouldn’t be celebrating every little minute detail of anyone who has 15 minutes of fame. We should instead be celebrating those who have spent a lifetime doing what they do, being who they are and who have made an impact on our lives. So…in accordance with this idea…here is MY acceptance speech for all of those who made me what I am today…

(cue 1:00 music intro – Award recipient intros to stage. Use hand-held cam to catch handshakes, kisses and the occasional mishap. Take Cam 2…)

“Firstly, I want everyone to know that I am heterosexual. It’s none of your business really but I figure, for whatever reason, it’s important that everyone know. I also wear briefs and enjoy an occasional drink at the bar. That being said, I have never done any kind of drugs that weren’t prescribed by a doctor and I have never gone skydiving. Now…with those details out of the way…

I’d like to thank my wife, who I love dearly and who is quite beautiful in my opinion. SHE deserves this award more than I do for putting up with me on a daily basis. She is a woman of great stature in my life and without her, I would not be what I am today.

To my children, Christopher & Ava, who are the reason for my life. Nothing I do will ever compete with them and I love them unconditionally. I can’t imagine life without them and I am forever in their debt for their love and understanding as I continue to grow…or, at least, as my waistline continues to grow.

I want to thank my Mom & Dad, who steered me on this path that I’m on. I might not be perfect, however I feel that they did the best they could and then trusted me enough to let me figure it out. I am a testament that you learn from making mistakes and THAT is a great way to learn how to live this thing we call life.

I want to thank my brother and sisters. If my parents are the backbone of my family, then Ruth, Mandy, Kathy, Frank and Amber are the heart. They are the ones who move me to be the best I can be. I see what they think of me every time I see them and I hope I don’t disappoint them in any way…ever.

To my best friends all through the years…JT, Newman, Janet, Chuck, Shayne & Mason. Despite the fact that I can go months (or sometimes years!) without seeing or talking to each of them, they have always been there for me whenever I need them and for that I am forever grateful. We have had some great times and there are so many stories to tell…but unfortunately I’m only allotted 2 minutes so I must push forward…

To all of my teachers but especially my high school English teacher, Dr. Lepp, and my Journalism teacher, Ms. Corbett, for believing in me so many years ago and taking what little talent I had back in those days and molding it in a way that would allow me to grow and move forward with my life.

To all the employers in the television news business that slowly but surely sucked all the fun out of that industry, leaving me no option but to find other means of employment. It was a fun run while it lasted but I needed to get out. Thank you for not sucking me back into that vortex.

To all my co-workers now and then. And I’m talking to anyone who worked at WHIZ-TV/AM/FM in Zanesville, WKEF in Dayton, WLWT in Cincinnati, The Daily Buzz and all of my freelancer friends who have made an impact on my life. You were or are all excellent to work with and, for the most part, I consider you all to be friends. It’s always a great thing to laugh at work and you guys have made my life easy.

To my circle of friends now who are always so helpful and supportive. When I’m working, they ease Stephanie’s burdens and help her with the craziness of trying to get our kids from one thing to another. They have made our lives so much more complete and we love them and their kids like family.

(cue music outro)

And finally, I thank you. For whatever reason, you stop by, read my silly musings and even occasionally make a comment or two. I write only as an outlet but every now and then I find a good topic and my fingers start to move and lo & behold! A blog post comes out of it! Thanks for stopping by and reading even if it’s not really worth your time…”

(Music outro up full – award recipient escorted to stage right.)

– Roll video with smiling celebrities/people drinking/actors fake kissing other actors

– :20 Billboards

– Fade to black

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2 Responses to My Acceptance Speech

  1. Amber says:

    Lol! I know nothing about the personal lives of any public figure and I do not care to know. If it doesn’t affect their job it doesn’t matter. Oh…and I REALLY didn’t need to know your underwear situation.

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