Phonin’ It In

Lately, the naughty word around our home has been “IPhone.” Just so you know, EVERYONE has one…EXCEPT for Christopher. Last summer, Steph & I got Christopher a phone so that if he were to be out riding his bike with his buddies or needed to get a hold of us, he would have one. Unfortunately, I wasn’t THINKING that his phone was gonna be a status symbol for coolness. I was THINKING he would use it to COMMUNICATE with us if he NEEDED us. So obviously this was short-sightedness on my part.

So for the past 2 months, all I’ve heard is, “Daaaaaaaaaaad…can I get an IPhoooooooone?” and “Daaaaaaaaaad….everyone ELSE has an IPhooooooooone…why can’t I get one?” Well…let’s see…let me count the reasons WHY Christopher can’t have an IPhone…

1. He already has a phone (as mentioned) and I’m not paying to break a contract with AT&T that will lead to me paying some ridiculous cost for a phone AND a new contract.

2. He has an ITouch…which has a shattered front because he dropped it and now THAT needs to be replaced.

3. The ITouch he has now replaced the FIRST ITouch he was given which he lost.

4. He SEES his friends at school, at practice, around the neighborhood ALL THE TIME. If we moved to Seattle and he wanted to keep in contact with his friends via Facetime (which he has on the ITouch) or there was some other truly inspirational reason WHY a 10-year old boy needs an IPhone specifically to be able to be a 10-year old boy that is not simply “because it’s cooler than a flip phone,” then MAYBE I would consider it. Be that as it may, at this point in his young life, I’m not buying it.

So WHY don’t I want my son to be the coolest kid on the block? Well…it has more to do than just money actually. Honestly, I could care less what kind of phone Christopher has as long as when I call him, he answers. This, however, has been a problem. Because normally when I DO call his phone, it’s sitting on the counter in our kitchen or is at the bottom of his backpack set on vibrate or it’s at his friends’ house where he left it last night. 9 times out of 10, when I call the 10 digits that are my son’s phone number, I get an answering machine. And THAT drives me CRAZY!!!!!

Why does he HAVE a phone if he isn’t gonna answer it? Obviously, today we use our phones for a lot more than just calling people. I use mine to text, to take pictures, to keep my calendar, to play games to whittle away the time. There are multiple uses for a phone anymore and the IPhone, despite some downward trending on Wall Street, is the big daddy of them all. I have a 64 gig phone that I keep thousands of songs on, some movies, all of my contacts and who knows how many apps that I never use but they are free so I own them anyways. Obviously I have a reason to have an IPhone! But the NUMBER ONE reason I have a phone? Is so that if there is a problem, if one of my kids are sick at school, if my wife’s car breaks down on the side of the road, if a friend needs me to pick him up at the airport, if my Mom wants to chat about her daily medicine intake, if an employer wants to hire me for a job…ANY of the above things…I have a phone that I can magically pick up and talk to them. NOT for my music, not for sending hearts and kisses to my wife via text, not for snapping photos of my feet in my hotel room watching tv. No…it DOES serve a purpose and that is for communication.

So when I call my son while I’m waiting to pick him up in the school pickup line and I can’t reach him and I have to go around the line again because I don’t know where he is? Yeah…THAT’S irritating. When I call my son when he’s over at a friends’ house to tell him we need him to come home for dinner and as I dial the phone rings on the kitchen counter? Yeah…that’s annoying. When his friends want to video chat while he’s doing his homework and can’t seem to concentrate on the difference between “they’re, their or there?” Yeah…THAT is NOT what I got the phone for.

So I’d like to apologize to Christopher but I am not footing the bill for an IPhone at this time. However he MAY leave a message after the beep and I’ll get back to him at a later date.

beep.