Deflated But Getting Better!

Hello. My name is Alan and I am 44 years old. I work a lot, travel a lot, eat a lot of shitty food and don’t exercise much. I know, I know…I’ve read all the reports and listened to all the experts but ya know what? I haven’t been paying much attention to them. As a matter of fact, every time I turn on the tv and see one of those new healthy workouts that will sculpt my abs in 20 minutes or a new gizmo that will make the most amazingly healthy shake I want to scream obscenities. Truth of the matter is….there is no freakin’ way you can have abs of steel after a 20 minute workout every day. I don’t care WHO you are. The people in those ads are PAID to look that way. Hell…if I was paid to workout all day, I’d look like that also! 20 minutes ain’t gonna cut it for me. And those amazing shake makers? Yeah…those are awesome if you’re blending up some spinach and yogurt. But if I bought one? You can bet your ass it would be ice cream and bananas and some chocolate syrup being dumped into that sucker.

My point is this…I am overweight. I weighed in at the doctor’s office the other day at 208. Now for some that might be ok. But I’m 5’11”, in my 40’s and I get very little exercise because…well…mostly because I’m lazy and don’t want to try and force it into my day.

But here’s the thing. Lately I’ve been feeling sluggish. Granted, I was dealing with sciatic pain shooting down my leg, but still…I haven’t been myself at all. Normally I’m pretty good about remembering certain things, especially if it’s something I find interesting or important. Lately? Not so much. Oh I could blame it on all the work or the travel or the appointments but let’s be honest here…I’m just kinda lazy. In MY mind, I WANT to blame all these things but it all comes down to the complete and honest fact that I just plain lost interest in exercise about…oh…maybe 5 years ago.

But now, after my steroid epidural injection on Tuesday, I have been turning over a new leaf. I’ve been eating healthier, exercising in various ways every day (mostly through walking or working around my house) and trying to sleep a little better. With leg pain, I would find myself waking up at all hours of the night, struggling to get comfortable. Now, with my leg feeling much better, I’m sleeping more soundly and thusly (can I use that here? It seems appropriate enough) I am more aware of what is going on in my life. And here’s what has been going on this week…


And it has been awesome! No work, no hurrying around, no checklist of things that HAVE to be done. Not saying I’ve been lazy, because I haven’t. I’ve had work to do around here and I’ve had the time to do them all in my own time. The kids have had to be places and I’ve taken them. But there hasn’t been an overwhelming sense that my life is completely out of control. And I think that is my problem. In my nature, I am not lazy. Quite the opposite, in fact. I like moving around and doing stuff. The problem is when all the stuff becomes so piled high that I think I start to shut down and don’t want to do anything except wake up, go to work, get done with work and go to bed. It’s a vicious cycle and it can wear anybody down after a while. Life is like that, I imagine. So many things are out of our control but we are forced to face ALL of them, whether we want to or not. In my case, this week I have been facing my health. I’m not happy with myself for getting this way and at 208 pounds, I’m pretty sure I can do better than that!

So I am working on getting better. I hope to continue what I’m doing all summer long. Very little travel allows me time to walk around my neighborhood, see my neighbors, hang with my wife and kids and develop an overall sense of how my life should be. Life is wonderful…and I need to keep that in perspective. So…I’m eating a salad, cottage cheese and tomato slices for lunch. I am pretty sure that is much healthier than a cheeseburger and fries from Fast Food Store #1. I walked my dog this morning at a brisk pace for maybe 2 miles or more. Pretty sure that’s better than sitting on an airplane for 3 hours. Tonight I’ll be traveling to Columbus with our friends as our kids compete in a baseball tournament. I believe that is better than sitting through ANOTHER Reds rain delay. So, as you can see, life IS better right now and I plan on continuing this for the entire summer. This is the summer of me. Time to get on it and make my life better. So have a sip of that Kool Aid and wish me luck! I gotta lose 15 pounds by September! I think I can do that actually…

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