When Sitting (& Sh!%ting) Get To Be A Problem…


So for 3 years or so, I’ve been working out, watching what I’m eating, doing my best to keep my sciatic nerve and back issues in check. Years ago, I had a herniated disc and my sciatic nerve got tweaked, sending me into months of repair and dismay. It was easily the most painful thing I’ve ever experienced with even the slightest twitch sending waves of pain down my back, leg and foot. It was awful! Now, 3 years later, I find myself in a similar predicament, even if it’s not quite as painful as the previous episode…it still comes with its own personal set of problems.

Let’s start at the beginning because this will at least clear a few things up. 2 weeks ago, while tearing out our tv compound at Augusta National, I was pulling cable and felt a sharp pain in my LEFT side. Now remember…my sciatica and bulging disc issue were on my RIGHT side a few years ago. So this left me feeling a little worried because I’ve never had an issue with my left side before. Cut to a week later…I’ve still been feeling something but it hasn’t been slowing me down and I am kind of hoping that it will eventually sort itself out (because I’m a guy and that’s what guys do). Being the brilliant guy that I am, I decide that I should pick up our air conditioning unit and install it upstairs in our house so my kids don’t sweat to death in the now summer-like conditions that we’ve been having. As I go to lift this 85 pound piece of machinery (which, by all accounts, I should be able to do easily), I HEAR a loud “POP” IN MY BODY (and I leave that capitalized to emphasize the point…IN…MY…BODY) and a searing pain shoots down my left leg and leaves me breathless. Needless to say, I did what any grown man would do in such a situation…I crawled into the house, laid on the floor and called my wife, literally crying in pain.

Eventually I end up at the doctor’s office (avoiding ANOTHER high end visit to the emergency room) where the doctor gives me a week-long dose of Flexeril & Percocet. I don’t know anything about drugs so when the doc says take them, I take them and I will say this…that stuff worked! Of course, for a few days I couldn’t feel my leg, or my butt, or my lower lip or anything else, for that matter. I slept for 3 days straight, barely able to put together coherent sentences and scaring my family to death. Adding to the problem is the fact that I couldn’t SIT anywhere in the house. Sitting makes my leg go all numb & tingly and makes my foot hurt. So I was either laying down or standing all week. Also…the drugs apparently screwed up my system because I no longer had to poop. Despite eating 3 meals a day, I just didn’t have to go. This, in turn, has had me backed up for a week with my food apparently blocking up my digestive system with absolutely no interest in going anywhere.

After a weekend of sitting through 4 Reds baseball games for work, I am now resigned to the fact that I am once again going to have to probably get a steroid injection in my back for this issue. I still can’t sit for any length of time and sleeping has become somewhat of an issue (can’t sleep on my side, can’t sleep propped up, etc), so I have to get some kind of relief. It’s weird though because as long as I’m standing, I’m all good. Mowed the yard yesterday, went to the gym today. Squatting is an issue but as long as I’m straight, I’m ok. It’s frustrating but I figure with my physical therapy visits, my chiropractor twisting me around like a pretzel and an upcoming visit to the orthopedic, I’m hoping to get this worked out sometime very soon. Until then…wish me luck! My nervous & digestive systems need it!

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One Response to When Sitting (& Sh!%ting) Get To Be A Problem…

  1. Barbara Brady says:

    I’m so sorry Alan. I’m praying it gets better for you. I hope they (doctors) can get to the root of the issue. Maybe you shouldn’t pick up 85 pounds of anything alone anymore.

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