Seriously…I had to pause and look at that before I moved on because…it just seems so…crazy? Odd? What is the word I’m looking for? Unbelievable?
When you’re a kid…50 sounds OLD. Hell…when you’re in your 20’s, 50 sounds old. Actually…make that your 30’s also. Then you hit 40 and realize that 50 is right around the corner. And now…here it is.
Today…I am 50. A HALF of 100.
So yeah. THAT happened today.
What can I tell you about life? Hell…I don’t know. I swear I looked in the mirror a couple weeks ago and I was in my 20’s. Now? I’m 50?!?!?
What the hell happened???
There’s a scene in a movie called “Liberal Arts” that I can relate to. In this film from 2012, a guy goes back to visit one of his college professors. As they sit at a table and talk, the professor, played by Richard Jenkins, and his student, played by Josh Radnor, have this discussion…
Prof. Peter Hoberg: You know how old I am?
Jesse Fisher: No, how old are you?
Prof. Peter Hoberg: It’s none of your goddamn business. Do you know how old I feel like I am?
Jesse Fisher: [shrugs]
Prof. Peter Hoberg: 19. Since I was 19, I have never felt not 19. But I shave my face, and I look in the mirror, and I’m forced to say, “This is not a 19-year-old staring back at me.”
Prof. Peter Hoberg: Teaching here all these years, I’ve had to be very clear with myself, that even when I’m surrounded by 19-year-olds, and I may have felt 19, I’m not 19 anymore. You follow me?
Jesse Fisher: Yeah.
Prof. Peter Hoberg: Nobody feels like an adult. It’s the world’s dirty secret.
This pretty much sums it up. I’ve never actually FELT like an adult. Sure…I have adult problems and have to deal with adult issues BUT…despite some nagging back injuries and a couple kidney stones…I have always felt 19. Obviously, this ideology comes back to haunt me every time I decide to drive to the basket a little too hard or I try to pick up a air conditioner without bending my knees. And that’s the thing about growing older, I think. You can stay young mentally on so many levels. But your body has its own agenda and it WILL have a say in how you live your life. You can work hard at keeping fit, eat healthy and do all the right things, but in the end…it’s the body that makes the difference. I don’t FEEL 50…until I get into the 4th game of the morning and my knees start to ache and my back starts to get tight. I don’t feel any differently other than that. I’m still me. I have a few grey grey hairs that tell me otherwise but…I feel pretty good for being a half of a century old.
Lately I’ve had a lot of people look at me funny when I tell them I’m turning 50 and that makes me feel good. Apparently I don’t LOOK 50. I’m sure my lifestyle has a lot to do with that. I’m living a pretty good life. I’ve worked hard but the job I have isn’t necessarily the most physically demanding job. I move around a lot, get ample enough exercise, don’t sit around too much. Don’t smoke. Don’t drink (often). Have never touched drugs of any kind that haven’t been prescribed. I don’t ride a motorcycle, don’t walk with my back to traffic and always look both ways…twice. So I have my ways of dealing.
I wish I had some sage advice…but I don’t. Everyone lives their life in different ways and 50 years in, I can honestly say that I’ve done more than I ever dreamed I would. Been to a lot of places, seen a lot of things and made a lot of friends. I’ve made mistakes, done some dumb things and lived. I remember not wearing a seatbelt when I was young. THAT could have been deadly but…still here. Rode a bike without a helmet. Drank out of a water hose. Didn’t die from a deadly virus. So far, (knock on wood) things have been pretty damn good. 50 years of pretty damn good is, without a doubt, an excellent life for me.
So today I turn 50. So what? I survived my 40’s. That’s about all I can really celebrate here. I made it another 10 years! Woohoo! And with each passing year I write a little less and talk a little lower because if there is one thing I’ve learned in my years it’s that…no one really gives a crap.
It’s life…we all live it and we live it to the best of our abilities. So get on back out there and keep at it, young man!
And so…I will.