The 2nd Debate…Or…What The Hell Are Pork Belly Earmarks?!?!

Let’s see…it went a little something like this…

I am Tom Brokaw. I talk really, really deeply. Watch and listen as I school these candidates on how this all works. Senator Obama…you…are…first. The economy.

BlahBlahBlahBlahBlah. Aaaand…BlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlah. McCain and Bush BlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlah. Change BlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlah. Aaaand…(finger point) BlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlah….

Senator…you are taking too long. So shut it. Senator McCain? Your response on the eco…

BlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlah. Obama voted 456 times BlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlah. I think we CAN fix the entire world easily by BlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlah. Oh…ha ha…I see you waving your arms Tom. But seriously BlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlah earmarks.

We MUST stick to our time limit! Senator McCain. Health care. Yes or no?

I love health care! BlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlah. Fix it, I will. BlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlah. Obama bites and I was in the armed forces! BlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlah. Ha Ha! I see ya Tom. BlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlah earmarks!

Hang on. That’s bullsh#@!! BlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlah. Aaaaand….BlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlah. And I MUST clarify BlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlah.

I’m only a hired hand here. But if you two don’t keep your amazingly complicated and overly tired responses to under 1 minute, I will be forced to make the red light flash faster. Kapeesh? Senator Obama. Foreign affairs.

BlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlah patriotic answer BlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlah Iran BlahBlahBlahBlahBlah Pakistan BlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlah Osama Bin Laden BlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlah Iraq BlahBlahBlahBlah McCain voted 3,456 times BlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlah earmarks.

BlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlah army BlahBlahBlahBlahBlah nuclear weapons BlahBlahBlahBlahBlah attack BlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlah Iraq BlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlahBlah PORK BELLY EARMARKS! Under 1 minute! Did I win?

YES! Your answer was UNDER 1 minute! You win MY vote!

Aaaaaaaah…but not mine! The winner in THIS round…

But seriously…does anybody know what the hell they were talking about most of the evening??? I fell asleep halfway through the first question and found each response to be simply booooooring. Except for all the talk about earmarks. LOVED THAT!?!?! Ugh…

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7 Responses to The 2nd Debate…Or…What The Hell Are Pork Belly Earmarks?!?!

  1. heather says:

    THAT was the most HILARIOUS thing I have read all week. Exactly the impression I came away with. Tom Brokaw was the best part.

    OMG…when he started to EXPLAIN what the red & green light meant, I almost crapped myself! LOL

  2. Midlife Slices says:

    I loved the debate……watching it HERE! I’m sure that’s exactly what happened although I didn’t watch a single minute of it because it doesn’t matter. They all talk a good game and all that flys out the window once they place their hand on the bible and are sworn into office. blah blah blah blah……

    You know I agree with you…

  3. Now that was one of your best posts ever!! Ha ha! Next time you just may want to add in the part about blah, blah, blah, blah, blah!

    Really? One of my best…EVER?!?! Wow! And to think it took me a whole 4 minutes! 3 to find the pictures! HAHA!

  4. Seriously, what kind of in-depth responses do you expect in one minute? That’s the most ridiculous format I have ever seen.

    Let’s have the candidates sit at a table, facing each other, and let them discuss a serious topic for one hour or two.

    I’m not sure the debate are there to be entertaining. I think that’s the big problem. People want to be entertained. They want the sound bites. They want the Sarah Palins of this world winking at them. Because of that, we are being subjected to three ring circuses instead of serious debates. Who is at fault?

    We are talking about serious issues. They have to dumb down everything to reach the largest audience possible. I’m disgusted.

    Did you watch? Because NO answers were under a minute and it was hysterical watching Brokaw trying to keep it under control! I was laughing every time he brought it up! And I agree with you! Let these guys sit at a table, face to face, and duke it out. Because when they are speaking to an audience, they are performing. You rule, H!

  5. thistle says:

    Would you be interested in reviewing the Canadian debates as well, cos your’s seem to be about the clearest version i’ve heard yet…i think you hit the high points pretty well…

    Thanks! I thought so as well! See above for the best course of action for the next debate…

  6. heather says:

    I don’t think we need any more debates. I am pretty clear on what’s going on. I think they’ve both run out of accusatory statistics to throw around at each other. I totally laughed my ass off bw, when I saw McCain in an interview where he said Palin “toasted” Biden in their debate. Which debate did he watch? Because it wasn’t the one I saw.

    Its all how your party sees it. I’m done with the debates as well…

  7. Danielle-lee says:

    I didn’t even watch it. I know I should have, but I was so beat down by the Biden/Palin debate that I just couldn’t bring myself to sit in front of the TV.

    Well…now you have the abreviated version of what happened! Don’t say I never taught ya nothin’…

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