So I’ve been gone a little bit the last month. Been working a lot. Been to various cities around the U.S. of A. and I haven’t been home enough to realize that…well…that my local grocery store is GONE?!?
I’m not talking just closed for some overnight cleaning either. I’m talking destroyed! Knocked down! Leveled! Poof! Just…GONE! And so now I gotta find another grocery store to shop in. Now this is not a difficult task on the surface. We have grocery stores around here like New York City has Starbucks. They are everywhere! But…they’re not MY grocery store. I’ve been going there ever since we moved here. Sure…it was small and the aisles got a little cramped…but I knew where everything was and if I needed something fast I knew exactly where it was and how much time it would take me to find it and get out (except for straws. Never did find those damn things…). And now it’s just not there anymore? How could they do this to me without asking? It’s not fair!
So now I gotta find a new place to shop. And imagine my frustration when I decide to go try out a new grocery on a SUNDAY morning? What was I thinking? Shopping on a Sunday morning was difficult enough at MY grocery, let alone going to a STRANGE grocery and trying to get by. And my wife gave me a list of stuff to get. Hell…I didn’t know where the milk was, let alone find the cat litter! So now there I was…combing the aisles…checking the list every 5 steps hoping I wasn’t missing anything…all the while sidestepping people who normally shop there and who are obviously NOT happy that I am there. Oh…and they know. You can see it on their faces as they stared at me as I passed by, smiling like an idiot, hoping that they would understand my plight. But they didn’t. They just hated on me and stared and pushed their carts past me, not smiling, not wanting to come to my aid. I was a stranger in their strange grocery and no one was gonna give me any sympathy.
I don’t like this. I want MY grocery store back! *sigh*
Well…from what I understand, it WILL be back…but not until November. NOVEMBER?!?! That SUCKS!
But on the bright side…I eventually DID get everything on the list. And it only took me an extra 20 minutes.
So NOW who’s the man?!? That’s right…I’M THE MAN!!! Screw you guys, Dixie Highway Kroger shoppers! I did it without your help!
But the bigger question is…uhhhhh..where are the straws?