Father Figure

Ava thinks I need a new hairstyle…

If you were to line the holidays up in order of how they rank, I’m thinking Father’s Day is down the list somewhere. Let’s see…you have Christmas, Thanksgiving, Easter, Mother’s Day, Valentine’s Day, Independence Day, Memorial Day, Martin Luther King Day, Arbor Day, Flag Day, National Day Of Silence, a couple of days that nobody remembers except my IPad calendar aaaaaaaand….then Father’s Day. Does this bother me? Not really.

I mean…for me, being a father is the single most important thing I have ever done. I can’t think of any one single thing that I could ever do that is more important than me being a good dad for my kids. It’s why I’m here. In the grand scheme of things, giving my kids the best home that they can have is the highest priority of anything else I do. This means being there to help them when they need it. Being there to love them when they need it. It means being as supportive as I can, guiding them through their early life, allowing them to make mistakes but keeping the fallout to a minimum so as not to destroy their confidence.

I read about how important a father figure is in a family. You always hear the horror stories of children raised in fatherless families. It’s a tough gig, being a dad. I know there have been times that I’ve wanted to run screaming because there is a lot of pressure in this job! And it’s not like it used to be where the dad is the head of the family who works all day, comes home, eats dinner, reads the paper and calls it a night. That doesn’t happen anymore. This gig has expanded to include helping with household chores, putting the kids to bed, taking junior to baseball practice, making sure mom gets to her hair appointment on time, volunteering free time for football games, etc and so forth. So now there is always the side that says, “Well a mother has to….(insert list here)” and they’d be right. Being a mom is THE toughest gig on the planet, no doubt about it. But we all recognize that. Being a good father often times goes unnoticed. We sit in Mom’s shadow, keeping quiet, watching and waiting. We wait for the moment when a son wants to throw a ball or when a daughter wants to do our hair. We wait for when a knee gets scratched and mom’s not home. We wait for when there’s no milk in the house so we can make a dash for the grocery. We wait and we learn and we try to be the best we can be without becoming intrusive. And now that I’m a father…I realize it’s time to give my Dad some credit.

Sometimes being a dad is a tough gig. As far as nurturing goes, nothing can replace mom. She is the butter on the bread. However, I would like to think a dad plays an important role in many other ways that a mother cannot. Despite the fact that I’ve always said that I am a momma’s boy, I watch my Dad today and I listen to how he talks, how he thinks and who he is as a person and I realize just how much of him is who I am. The way he is taught me how to be respectful, how to handle the pressure of being a man, how to be aware of my surroundings and know when I need to step up my game. The way he is has taught me how to be a better person, not just a better father, and for that I can never thank him enough. My Dad has always been supportive (he came to every game), encouraging (as in THIS situation that I wrote about a few years ago) and protective. He is the greatest man a growing boy could have asked for as a father and I think it’s high time I paid him his due.

So here I go…

Dad, I would like to thank you for being there for me all of my life. 44 years in and never once have you let me down. I just want to say that I appreciate all that you have given me. From you I get my conscience, my confidence, my integrity and a vision of what it takes to be a great father. I have a good head on my shoulders and a sense of responsibility. I just want to thank you for that and when I see how far I’ve come down this path of life and how well all the other kids in our family are doing, all I can say is…you did a great job! Happy Father’s Day, Dad! Looking forward to seeing you next week!

-Your son

One Season Ends, The Other Begins!

On Wednesday, Christopher was riding high with a 3 inning, 2-runs allowed pitching effort against the Cincinnati Riverhawks as the Bulldogs won 7-2 on a really tiny field. He also managed a walk and a run in one of his 2 at-bats and has been swinging the bat really well here lately. Unfortunately, on Thursday morning he had a doctor appointment for some pain he’s been having with his foot and now? His baseball season is over, cut short with a bad case of Sever’s Disease. Is it life threatening? No. But is it irritating to have 3 weeks of your summer break stuck on the couch? Yes. And so…with that, Fer is now laid up while the irritation in his foot heals itself.

On the flip side, Ava is beginning a new sport as she joined the Beechwood Swim Club 8U swim team this summer. The ‘Cudas have only been practicing for 2 weeks and last night they had their first meet at Bluegrass Swim Club. Ava swam in 4 heats where she did well in all of them considering she is a first-timer! The highlight was her big win in her favorite form, the breast stroke, where she beat 3 other girls and won the gold! Oh wait…no gold medals THIS time. But we are looking forward to seeing her competitive nature shine in later meets. When I told her she had come in last in the freestyle, she was not happy. I think we might have a swimmer on our hands here!

Life Lessons

It’s an early summer afternoon baseball game. Nothing out of the ordinary at first. In the first inning, the Bulldogs batted and didn’t manage to get a run across home plate. In the bottom half of the inning, the Ignite squad put 9 runs on the board. So…out of the gate, our team is down 9 runs.

Time to pack it up, right?

Well…not this day! The Bulldogs scrapped back, scoring 3 runs in the 2nd inning. Then allowing a run. Then hammering in 6 runs to cut the lead to 1. Then the Ignite scored 2 more runs in the bottom of the 5th. In the top of the 6th inning, the Bulldogs had opportunities but the Ignite made some good plays, stopping the Dawgs run and ending the game with a 12-11 score.

So the Bulldogs lost. Just another game among what seems like hundreds of games, right? Well…that might be true but there was something different about this game for our kids. To say it has been a rough season would be an understatement. There have been growing pains, getting used to playing together, getting used to the coaches. So this team has only managed to win 3 games this summer. This game was different because, despite the big deficit, they fought back. They worked hard. They were patient at the plate and took good swings. They worked hard on defense, making some game-changing plays in the field that swayed the game into their favor. And despite all of this, they still lost. But there was a lesson to be learned in this particular loss.

The lesson is this…you can’t win EVERY game. It’s not expected and a win is certainly not a given, no matter how good you think you are. You will get beaten and, in some cases, it won’t be pretty. It will be an assault on your ego. It will make you unsure and it will bruise your confidence. But the fact of the matter is, you are defined by how you react AFTER something like this happens. If you have a bad game, the best thing you can do is look past it and work harder. The easy thing to do would be to throw your hands up and accept it. On this day, these 12 boys didn’t do that. They worked hard and they battled back. 9 runs down out of the gate and they didn’t quit. As a parent, that’s really the lesson that you hope they learn from playing ANY sport. Don’t give up and good things happen. Stand up straight, put on your glove and finish the game. Sometimes the spectacular comeback win doesn’t happen. Sometimes you don’t hit the grand slam home run that could’ve won the game. Sometimes, you get a 3-run RBI, sometimes you strikeout. But either way, if you fight hard and comeback against great odds, THAT says something about you and last night, we learned a lot about our boys and our team.

Yesterday our Bulldogs lost a great game against a strong opponent. Of all of the losses this season, despite the fact that the scoreboard had us on the losing end, this one was a win. On this night, our boys stood up straight, put on their gloves and went to work. And I couldn’t have been prouder of all of them.

Denver Bound

Losing a friend is always difficult. Losing 6 is next to excruciating and this week, our family lost 6 of our dearest friends to Denver, Colorado. My best bud Shayne took a job that relocated he and his family to the mountain time zone this week and we are already feeling the repercussions of the hole that they have left. No longer will our kids be able to play together at any given time. I won’t have the luxury of having a great friend in my backyard to sit and have a cold brew with. No longer will we have our summer filled with cookouts and sharing a laugh or 5. The empty house that they have left has also left a hole in our hearts and I think I can speak for my entire family when I say that they will be missed dearly. Despite the fact that their oldest was a grade behind Christopher, he and Anthony are best buds and the younger siblings were ALWAYS welcome to come over and have a popsicle or a juice box (or in Izzie’s case…maybe some fruit, or a sandwich, or maybe some pizza…).

To tell some of the stories would take to long however I will shorten them by simply stating a few good ones…Las Vegas, going canoeing, the 25th class reunion, the anniversary bus, karaoke, football games, sledding in the snow, playing basketball in the backyard and chatting over the fence. No one else will understand but our families always will and we will always remember those times and many more.

We will miss them all dearly and we can only hope that they are accepted in Denver with open arms. At the same time, we want them to know that they will be missed here and if they ever return, we’d love to see them move right back to our little neighborhood so that we can pick up right where we left off. Best of luck in Denver to the Estrada clan! However I gotta tell you…on a selfish level…I hope they hate it and come rushing right back to where they belong…

 

 

 

HAD to put this one in there…LOL

A Great Year At School

<Last Day at school!

So the school year has ended and summer has begun. With summer comes fun afternoons at the pool, baseball games and hanging out time with friends & family. But before we get into the heat of June, I’d like to take a moment and note some of the accolades my kids received at school this year.

Firstly, Christopher had a great year as he posted all A’s & B’s and received a certificate and a pin rewarding him for his achievements. He also was also the recipient of citizenship award. Despite the fact that I’m not exactly sure what the award means, I imagine it is in recognition of Fer’s happy demeanor and love of all of his classmates.

Secondly, Ava did excellent this year as well and is TOTALLY looking forward to the challenges of 4th grade! She received an award for her creative writing skill (which she obviously got from her father’s side) and, despite not having an A-F grading system in her grade level, she managed to squeak by with an excellent report card. I had to chuckle at her award simply because she displays so much interest in not only writing but the arts as well and can be found constantly drawing and coloring! I see her as a young Picasso….with a touch of Van Gogh.

Congratulations to both of my kids for a job well done this year! I always tell them…they only have 1 responsibility and that’s to get good grades. They accomplished that and much more this year. I am extremely proud of them both!

Back In MY Day…

They have NO IDEA how good they got it…right Grandma???

Recently there was a great post circulating on the Facebook that said exactly what I’ve been thinking (and in some cases…saying…) to my kids recently. It’s a terrible thing when you realize that you have turned into your parents but…when the check starts coming to you at a table of 8, you realize that you are the oldest one there and everyone knows it! Here’s the post…which I HAD to repost simply because…well…it’s ALL true and I couldn’t say it any better. Kudos to whoever wrote it!

When I was a kid, adults used to bore me to tears with their tedious diatribes about how hard things were. When they were growing up; what with walking twenty-five miles to school every morning…. Uphill… Barefoot… BOTH ways…yadda, yadda, yadda

And I remember promising myself that when I grew up, there was no way in hell I was going to lay a bunch of crap like that on my kids about how hard I had it and how easy they’ve got it!

But now that I’m over the ripe old age of forty, I can’t help but look around and notice the youth of today. You’ve got it so easy! I mean, compared to my childhood, you live in a damn Utopia! And I hate to say it, but you kids today, you don’t know how good you’ve got it!

1) I mean, when I was a kid we didn’t have the Internet. If we wanted to know something, we had to go to the damn library and look it up ourselves, in the card catalog!!

2) There was no email!! We had to actually write somebody a letter – with a pen! Then you had to walk all the way across the street and put it in the mailbox, and it would take like a week to get there! Stamps were 10 cents!

3) Child Protective Services didn’t care if our parents beat us. As a matter of fact, the parents of all my friends also had permission to kick our ass! Nowhere was safe!

4) There were no MP3′s or Napsters or iTunes! If you wanted to steal music, you had to hitchhike to the record store and shoplift it yourself!

5) Or you had to wait around all day to tape it off the radio, and the DJ would usually talk over the beginning and @#*% it all up! There were no CD players! We had tape decks in our car. We’d play our favorite tape and “eject” it when finished, and then the tape would come undone rendering it useless. Cause, hey, that’s how we rolled, Baby! Dig?

6) We didn’t have fancy crap like Call Waiting! If you were on the phone and somebody else called, they got a busy signal, that’s it!

7) There weren’t any freakin’ cell phones either. If you left the house, you just didn’t make a damn call or receive one. You actually had to be out of touch with your “friends”. OH MY GOSH !!! Think of the horror… not being in touch with someone 24/7!!! And then there’s TEXTING. Yeah, right. Please! You kids have no idea how annoying you are.

8) And we didn’t have fancy Caller ID either! When the phone rang, you had no idea who it was! It could be your school, your parents, your boss, your bookie, your drug dealer, the collection agent… you just didn’t know!!! You had to pick it up and take your chances, mister!

9) We didn’t have any fancy PlayStation or Xbox video games with high-resolution 3-D graphics! We had the Atari 2600! With games like ‘Space Invaders’ and ‘Asteroids’. Your screen guy was a little square! You actually had to use your imagination!!! And there were no multiple levels or screens, it was just one screen.. Forever! And you could never win. The game just kept getting harder and harder and faster and faster until you died! Just like LIFE!

10) You had to use a little book called a TV Guide to find out what was on! You were screwed when it came to channel surfing! You had to get off your ass and walk over to the TV to change the channel!!! NO REMOTES!!! Oh, no, what’s the world coming to?!?!

11) There was no Cartoon Network either! You could only get cartoons on Saturday Morning. Do you hear what I’m saying? We had to wait ALL WEEK for cartoons, you spoiled little rat-bastards!

12) And we didn’t have microwaves. If we wanted to heat something up, we had to use the stove! Imagine that!

13) And our parents told us to stay outside and play… all day long. Oh, no, no electronics to soothe and comfort. And if you came back inside… you were doing chores!

14) And car seats – oh, please! Mom threw you in the back seat and you hung on. If you were lucky, you got the “safety arm” across the chest at the last moment if she had to stop suddenly, and if your head hit the dashboard, well that was your fault for calling “shot gun” in the first place!

See! That’s exactly what I’m talking about! You kids today have got it too easy. You’re spoiled rotten! You guys wouldn’t have lasted five minutes back in 1970 or any time before!

This writer speaks THE TRUTH! And back in MY day we would have just REALLY just laughed…not LOL!

Ohio University Zanesville TCOM Department: Some Things Never Change.

About 100 years ago, I was a student at Ohio University Zanesville. The years were 1987 & ’88 and despite my age, I had a pretty good idea what I wanted to do with my life. And that was be the fry guy at McDonalds. My OTHER goal was to be a radio DJ. From there, I had no clue what I was doing. But I figured it out in those 2 years that I spent at OUZ. It’s hard to imagine 2 years of my short 44 that were more influential in my life. In those 2 years, I met some of my best friends, I learned a lot about myself, my abilities and what would become my future.

During those 2 years, I spent a lot of time hanging out at the college, whether in the lobby, classroom or in the production studios. Often times, I would find myself with a group of friends, hanging out in the radio production booth, listening to records and just enjoying the free time that I had. Obviously, as life goes on, “just hanging out” time seems to be in the distant past and so today I decided to go back to OUZ while I was in my hometown to see how much things had changed and you know what? They hadn’t changed all that much.

Oh…there was a computer room with editing stations that had taken the place of where the old WOUZ radio station used to be, but that was about it. The old production studios are still intact and the tv studio is still there. A lot of memories came rushing back as I chatted with one of the professors who was in doing some extra work for his classes. I’d like to thank Mr. Savage for giving me a tour (I’m sure he probably thought I was a nut job at first, as I was wandering around the deserted hallways on a Thursday afternoon) and listening to me reminisce about my college days. We both share a love of music (he teaches a class on rock n roll this summer which seems like a dream job to me) and he walked me from studio to studio, chuckling every time I had a story about each piece of equipment. It’s pretty cool that things aren’t much different from when I was there however I was also a little sad. With so many changes in technology, I would have thought certain things would have been different by now but that’s not for me to say, I suppose. For an hour or so I was transported back in time and it was certainly a trip down memory lane.

The old album stacks. Vinyl is COMING BACK!!!

The old recording booth where we would spend so much time

The television production studio cameras

The Control Room

A Grass Valley Switcher from 1985

An editing station…for reals.

Does this picture make me look fat?

Deflated But Getting Better!

Hello. My name is Alan and I am 44 years old. I work a lot, travel a lot, eat a lot of shitty food and don’t exercise much. I know, I know…I’ve read all the reports and listened to all the experts but ya know what? I haven’t been paying much attention to them. As a matter of fact, every time I turn on the tv and see one of those new healthy workouts that will sculpt my abs in 20 minutes or a new gizmo that will make the most amazingly healthy shake I want to scream obscenities. Truth of the matter is….there is no freakin’ way you can have abs of steel after a 20 minute workout every day. I don’t care WHO you are. The people in those ads are PAID to look that way. Hell…if I was paid to workout all day, I’d look like that also! 20 minutes ain’t gonna cut it for me. And those amazing shake makers? Yeah…those are awesome if you’re blending up some spinach and yogurt. But if I bought one? You can bet your ass it would be ice cream and bananas and some chocolate syrup being dumped into that sucker.

My point is this…I am overweight. I weighed in at the doctor’s office the other day at 208. Now for some that might be ok. But I’m 5’11″, in my 40′s and I get very little exercise because…well…mostly because I’m lazy and don’t want to try and force it into my day.

But here’s the thing. Lately I’ve been feeling sluggish. Granted, I was dealing with sciatic pain shooting down my leg, but still…I haven’t been myself at all. Normally I’m pretty good about remembering certain things, especially if it’s something I find interesting or important. Lately? Not so much. Oh I could blame it on all the work or the travel or the appointments but let’s be honest here…I’m just kinda lazy. In MY mind, I WANT to blame all these things but it all comes down to the complete and honest fact that I just plain lost interest in exercise about…oh…maybe 5 years ago.

But now, after my steroid epidural injection on Tuesday, I have been turning over a new leaf. I’ve been eating healthier, exercising in various ways every day (mostly through walking or working around my house) and trying to sleep a little better. With leg pain, I would find myself waking up at all hours of the night, struggling to get comfortable. Now, with my leg feeling much better, I’m sleeping more soundly and thusly (can I use that here? It seems appropriate enough) I am more aware of what is going on in my life. And here’s what has been going on this week…

NOTHING.

And it has been awesome! No work, no hurrying around, no checklist of things that HAVE to be done. Not saying I’ve been lazy, because I haven’t. I’ve had work to do around here and I’ve had the time to do them all in my own time. The kids have had to be places and I’ve taken them. But there hasn’t been an overwhelming sense that my life is completely out of control. And I think that is my problem. In my nature, I am not lazy. Quite the opposite, in fact. I like moving around and doing stuff. The problem is when all the stuff becomes so piled high that I think I start to shut down and don’t want to do anything except wake up, go to work, get done with work and go to bed. It’s a vicious cycle and it can wear anybody down after a while. Life is like that, I imagine. So many things are out of our control but we are forced to face ALL of them, whether we want to or not. In my case, this week I have been facing my health. I’m not happy with myself for getting this way and at 208 pounds, I’m pretty sure I can do better than that!

So I am working on getting better. I hope to continue what I’m doing all summer long. Very little travel allows me time to walk around my neighborhood, see my neighbors, hang with my wife and kids and develop an overall sense of how my life should be. Life is wonderful…and I need to keep that in perspective. So…I’m eating a salad, cottage cheese and tomato slices for lunch. I am pretty sure that is much healthier than a cheeseburger and fries from Fast Food Store #1. I walked my dog this morning at a brisk pace for maybe 2 miles or more. Pretty sure that’s better than sitting on an airplane for 3 hours. Tonight I’ll be traveling to Columbus with our friends as our kids compete in a baseball tournament. I believe that is better than sitting through ANOTHER Reds rain delay. So, as you can see, life IS better right now and I plan on continuing this for the entire summer. This is the summer of me. Time to get on it and make my life better. So have a sip of that Kool Aid and wish me luck! I gotta lose 15 pounds by September! I think I can do that actually…

Searching For The Sweet Spot

If you’ve ever played sports, you know what I’m talking about when I mention “The Sweet Spot.” In baseball, it’s that place on the bat where, once the ball hits it, you know it’s out of the park. In basketball, it’s the place on the court where you can’t miss. In football…uh….well…I dunno what sweet spot means for football. I imagine there are plenty of sports that coin the term “sweet spot” into the vernacular and so you get the idea. But in life, where is YOUR sweet spot.

Every year, I get crazy busy from February through most of April into May. Every year, I find myself running from place to place, airport to airport, location to location, hotel to hotel, and every year, sometime in May, it comes to a screeching halt and then? I find myself in a state of panic. NO MORE WORK??? NO MORE RUNNING? WHAT DO I DO WITH MYSELF???

Well…I look for my sweet spot.

It’s hard to explain because honestly? I’m not sure if even I understand my mindset. It’s not easy going from mach 5 to a screeching halt. It’s kind of disconcerting actually and so when I do find that I have downtime, and I do find that I can sit back and relax a little bit, you’ll have to pardon me if I feel a little puckered. I’m a little edgy at first, not really sure of my state. This week, I had some house stuff to get done, a little bit of organizing to do and a visit to the doctor that kept me busy. The idea of feeling better has been on my mind quite a bit lately. The pain radiating down my leg has been a constant irritation for over a month now and it was time to get it fixed. Yesterday I went in for a spinal steroid injection. It was painful and not a pleasant experience. But immediately following, I had a moment of clarity.

I need to get healthy in not only a physical way, but a mental way as well. Every year I do this to myself where I come off the road and I’m more mentally exhausted than I am physically. The physical part of it I get. I mean…I’m a big SEE FOOD guy. If I see it, I eat it. This, obviously, is NOT the best way to stay healthy. I’m not a gym rat. I tried that and hated it. I can’t play basketball anymore due to this nagging back issue, so I have that I’m dealing with. So I have to find something that works for me to help me get into a little bit of shape. I figure I’m 44. I’m not dead yet. I need to start thinking of my body as more of a temple than a bottomless food pit.

The MENTAL aspect of not working every day in some way is more of a drag than I probably let people believe. I go from place to place, work, work, work, and never seem to stop. Last year was even worse for that. Between 2 football games a week for NFL Net and CBS, my entire fall and winter months are a complete blur. Basketball season is always a busy time and then you get into the NCAA tournament, add in some golf events, throw in some baseball games and VOILA! I just blew through 8 months of my life and my head is on fire. Granted, I did take a 5 day respite in Destin for some fun time with the family and our friends, but even that seemed rushed considered I had that sandwiched between the NCAA semifinals and the Masters, 2 HUGE events where there is probably more pressure there than I lead everyone to believe.

So now I’m sitting on my back porch. Yesterday I got the epidural and my back is feeling MUCH better (thank you) and I took a long walk with Stella this morning, rocked some 80′s tunes in my ear buds and I am trying to find my sweet spot. There’s a cool breeze, the sun is smiling and life has slowed down a little bit. It’s nice to just sit and watch the planes fly overhead, listen to the birds and think about nothing, if only for a few minutes. Clarity is not something that comes easily to me. Most of the time, my head is a jumbled mess of directions and numbers and worry. But for today, I’m letting that all go. Today I have found a sweet spot and I think I’m just gonna sit here and soak that up.

A Very Special Mother’s Day Gift…

What would life be like without our Moms? It doesn’t matter really if your mother is with you or not, there is always a piece of her inside of who you are. In my case, my mother was instrumental in me becoming the man I am today. She gave me a great life and I hope that she understands how much she means to me. The mother of my children, my wife and partner, is also a very important cog in my life. She has been a terrific mother for our 2 children and has managed to teach me a thing or two about life and how to live it. I can’t imagine being with someone who is a better mother, friend and partner than she is.

Here is a little video I put together for her. Time has just flown by over the last 11 years and I wish there were a way to slow it down. So many times I return home from a road trip and find that my kids are a little more grown up than they were when I left. The clock manages to continue to tick away when I’m gone and there are moments that I wish I could bottle up and keep forever. Here are a few that I managed to capture to keep and now I can share with you again.

Thank you for being such a great mother for our kids Stephanie! I love you…and I know they love you more than anything in the world!

Your Husband

The Cure Starts Now Gala 2013

Last night, Stephanie, Ava and I had the opportunity to join many influential people in a gala & auction to help benefit the cause against pediatric cancer. The charity is called “The Cure Starts Now” and I’ve written about it here a few times because of Steph’s involvement with the organization and because, quite frankly, it’s a wonderful cause. Started by Keith & Brooke Desserich in memory of their daughter, Elena, who was a victim of brain cancer at the age of 5, The Cure Starts Now is working toward being one of the premiere cancer research foundations in the country!

Last night at the Downtown Cincinnati Convention Center, hundreds of people showed up to bid on auction items, enjoy some food and drinks and to participate in one of the biggest galas yet in order to fight against the terrible disease that affects thousands of children every year. Below are some photos of the night. If you wish to donate to such a worthy cause and would also like to be a part of the fight against pediatric cancers, please visit The Cure Starts Now website and feel free to donate. There isn’t a better cause than the fight against cancer. Let’s work to save all of the children who are dying from various cancerous diseases…shall we?

Keith Desserich addresses the audience

An auction item from the Beechwood Tigers families

Ava had a few items she wanted to bid on!

Coolest Auction Item Of The Night? An opportunity to see Nik Wallenda cross the Grand Canyon in person next month!

Being Mom For A Day

Twice a year my mother-in-law makes her pilgrimage to Cleveland Clinic to have her bi-annual checkup. So, twice a year the roles are reversed and I get to be Mr. Mom for a day or so while Stephanie accompanies her. It’s fun to see the “other side” every now and then, just like I imagine she gets to see what I get to put up with when I’m on the road. Granted, I don’t usually have my mom with me wherever I go but still…having to stay in a hotel and eat horribly at some hole-in-the-wall dump restaurant (like a PF Chang’s or Olive Garden) and then having to use hotel shampoo and conditioner? It’s a life not made for someone with a light stomach.

Aaaaaanyway…

So tonight I had things to do. Actually…I had a schedule. It was hand-written on a blue sticky note and it had my itinerary for the night. It looked like this…

This was all fine and good but it’s what ISN’T on there that was the more challenging aspect of it.

First, let’s break this down. Stephanie pulled away from our home today at approximately 12:33pm. I remember this because I glanced at my watch while I was wheeling out the lawn mower to tackle the jungle formerly known as our yard. As I watched her mother’s tail lights disappear up our street, I put in my earphones, cranked up the music and chuckled to myself…”I got this.” And I did! For maybe a couple hours. Then I picked the kids up from school and it was showtime!

2:58pm – 8 minutes late getting into the pickup line at school because I forgot I had to run to the bank. I get a phone call on the Batphone…
Christopher: “Where are you?”
Me (trying to hide the fact that I’m late and at the back of the line): “I’m in the line. Don’t you see me?”
Christopher: “No. We’ll walk to the BACK of the school so we don’t have to wait here longer.” *click*

There ya have it. I’ve been in charge for a whole 8 minutes and I’m already a failure.

After picking the kids up, my (internal) itinerary says I have 2 hours for them to get their homework done, get them a snack, get them organized and off to the first stop of the night…Christopher’s baseball practice. 1 hour and 47 minutes later, Ava has her homework binder in her arms, paper falling out of it, an eraser-less pencil clutched in one hand, her new cell phone in the other. Christopher is rushing down the stairs, bag full of clothes his mother packed for him over his shoulder, his new birthday IPhone in one hand, basketball shoes in the other. I rush to get him a water bottle before we leave (it’s on the list!) and conveniently leave it on the table as we rush out the door to baseball practice. And so the night begins.

Upon arriving at baseball practice, I drop our children off at the park and, realizing we (I) forgot the water bottle, return home to get it. I also grab a water bottle for Ava and a soda for myself (calorie free Vanilla Coke. Perfect!) and proceed out the door with both dogs staring at me with that “Please take us!” look in their eyes. I pretend not to see them and keep on movin’!

Back at the baseball field, I watch the clock as time starts to grow short. I have 15 minutes to get Christopher from baseball practice to a basketball skills practice and it’s 6:13. In my head I crunch the numbers…6 mile drive, maybe 7 stop lights, gotta get them in the car…that’s at least 18 minutes…UNLESS I hit 5 of the lights! THEN it’s possible! As we head to the car, Ava asks for her phone. I have conveniently left it on the bleachers right where she gave it to me so she wouldn’t lose it when she went off to play with her friend. *sigh*

Ava runs and gets the phone, rushes up to jump car as we’re pulling away. Chris changes in the backseat while Ava and I search for something to listen to on XM radio. Ava wants Disney, I want 80′s On 8 and Christopher is busy answering texts in the backseat while trying to pull on his basketball shorts. I somehow managed to make it with 2 minutes to spare (hey…4 of those lights were on YELLOW mister!!!) and Christopher is shooting layups in the gym by 6:30. WIN!!!

Unfortunately, Ava had decided to roll in the grass at the park and is all kinds of itchy. And so, with a little under an hour before her gymnastics class, I rush her home to get her a quick shower and a snack. When we arrive, Barkley and Stella are staring at me. It’s 6:45. Their dinnertime. Ava showers, I feed the dogs, update my Facebook status and somehow end up descrambling Ava’s english words for HER homework (I dunno how this happened) and then we’re off and running her to her class.

7:22pm – I drop Ava off at the studio for her 7:30pm class and I watch her walk into the building. I have to pick up Christopher in 10 minutes. I don’t like leaving Ava but she assures me that it’s okay and I’m not doing anything wrong. So I head south to get Fer.

7:35pm – Arrive back at the gym as things are wrapping up and my phone rings. Ava’s instructor hasn’t arrived and Ava is all alone. Luckily, her assistant principal (a friend of our family) is there and calls me. So now I feel REALLY bad as I’m rushing Christopher out of the gym to hurry back to get Ava! As I’m pulling out of the parking lot, I get a text that the instructor has arrived and no need to hurry. I sigh and slow down after peeling out of a school parking lot. All is good.

After Ava’s class is over, I take both of the kids to Skyline for dinner, get them home, get Fer showered and everyone is in bed by 9:35pm. Except I’ve left the windows open upstairs all day and it’s about 85 degrees so…after a little bit of complaining…I allow both kids to head downstairs to sleep in the much cooler basement.

It’s now 10:55 as I wrap this up. Being Mom for a day has its headaches but ya know what? I kind of enjoy it when I get a chance to do it. It shows me how much Stephanie does for this family and I should never take that for granted. And now…I’m off to bed. Gotta get the kids up and moving tomorrow for school!

For The Ol’ Opera House…

When it comes to movie houses, there is only one that I consider an important historical site. I grew up in the small town of McConnelsville, OH. Like most small towns, McConnelsville doesn’t have a giant multiplex that shows 25 movies with IMAX screens and 3D. What it DOES have is an opera house that has been around since 1892. And a film projector that has been installed since the 1930′s. Aaaannnnd apparently it might also have a ghost or two but THAT is a story for a different day…

The Opera House has always been dear to my heart. Growing up in such a small town, I spent many days running around that town square and, when I wasn’t hanging out at the video arcade on the corner, I was drinking Mr. Pibb & eating popcorn for a quarter at the old Opera House. Who can imagine how many movies I saw there. One of the movies that sticks in my head was a “holiday” film that was screened after the Christmas parade called “Santa Clause Conquers The Martians.” Originally released in 1964, this ridiculous film was about as weird as it sounds but for whatever reason, I remember seeing it in that old theater. I also saw “ET,” “Star Wars,” and hundreds of other movies including a little movie called “Tarzan, The Ape Man” that starred Bo Derek in 1981 and had considerably more nudity in it than my Mom thought I should be seeing at my age (13).

Hmmm…wonder what’s in there?

Anyway…ahem…so…where was I? Oh yeah…the Opera House. Okay…so flash forward to 2013. Apparently Hollywood is shutting down the film industry. No, no…they’re not NOT making movies anymore. They are literally not using film anymore. The days of actually using 35MM film is almost over and old movie houses across the country are being forced to update or else they won’t be able to show movies anymore (well…except for old films like “Santa Clause Conquers The Martians”…which IS a classic). So here’s where YOU come in. I’m looking for a little effort to keep this awesome movie house open for this community which deserves to have it keep its doors open.

It’s not a toaster…it’s a projector!

If you are a fan of history and have a place in your heart for the past, I am asking that you take a moment and donate for the cause of this amazing establishment. Trust me when I tell you it’s worthy of a few of your dollars. It’s a testament to our times that places like this are closing their doors at an alarming rate. It’s important that the history of our country is preserved in more ways than just museums and mausoleums. A place like the Twin City Opera House stands as an open door to our past. It showcases what we were and how far we’ve come. Granted, if I had MY way, it would show old 35MM films for the rest of time but, in some cases, the future dictates what we have to do and moving forward in this case isn’t the worst thing that could happen. This is a great opportunity to benefit a caring community and help keep a showcase of its past open to the public.

Here is the link. Please donate and if you are ever in southeast Ohio, you should stop by and visit the ol’ Opera House. It’s worth the trip. And then swing over to the Blue Bell Restaurant. They used to have great ice cream. Of course, that was 30 years ago but hey…some things never change!

The theater lobby

How Do We Make It Stop?

A couple of days ago, bombs were detonated at the finish line of the Boston Marathon, killing 3 and injuring over 180 others. There have been many questions asked about this and other domestic attacks on innocent people. The masses want to know who, what, when, where & why. In this, the day & age of information and easy access, everyone demands to know…HOW can this happen?

The easy answer is…no one knows. Obviously there are psychological issues going on here. Despite whatever reason the killer or bomber give, there are ALWAYS psychological issues. In THEIR minds, they have a cause. But think about it…how easy is it to have a thought so psychologically disturbing that you immediately push it to the dark recesses of your mind, hoping to never think that thought again? And the thought you had? You’re not the only person thinking it. You just happen to know how to deal with it. But there are some people out there who watch a movie, or see a television show, or who have internet access who have seen things that are so disturbing, so provocative and then they are abused or molested or mistreated in some form and so…they have a thought. It starts as a seed but then it grows and before you know it, a young man is walking into an elementary school with enough gun power to start a small war or bombs are planted inside a building housing hundreds of normal, everyday people who are simply going to work. And this doesn’t just happen in America. This happens everywhere. The idea of TERRORISM is to scare us, to make us uneasy, to disrupt our lives, making it difficult for us to even want to leave our homes.

I can’t even begin to imagine what a family who has suffered through the loss of one of their children must be dealing with. I can’t begin to imagine what a community must go through to pick up the pieces of a mass killing at a local movie theater. I can’t begin to wonder how a community can put on its shoes and begin shifting through the rubble of a destroyed building, finding cell phones and filing cabinets and body parts scattered all over the street. These things I pray I will never have to endure. But people do and then they are hurt and angry and confused. But then you know what happens? Life goes on. And even though the memory of the deceased NEVER go away, we have no choice but to move forward.

But we want to know…why? Why would someone do such a horrible thing? So we wait while hundreds put the pieces together and find whoever caused such despair and then we want action. We want that person brought to justice. We want something to happen to make the pain stop but it doesn’t. Even after the criminal is caught or kills himself or gives himself up, the pain never really goes away. But we NEED to know WHY?

Here’s a thought…we will NEVER truly know why. Here’s another thought…we don’t really WANT to know WHY. Because to truly understand WHY would mean we could be that dark also. The horrific thoughts that our brain has the capability to process and then hide away would be brought to light and we don’t REALLY want that. It’s not who we are. We may have terrible thoughts but we would never act on them. But there are some who just can’t push those thoughts aside. There are some who are willing to build a bomb in their basement, willing to load automatic weapons, fly planes into buildings, send drones into helpless communities, push a big red button. There are those who do not care one way or another how their actions affect the lives of others. They don’t care about the children the kill. They don’t care about the lives they affect. They don’t care about the repercussions of their actions. In MY opinion, all they want are attention. And so…with that…I give you MY solution to all of this. How do we make it stop?

Stop the presses.

Stop the media coverage.

Stop pasting the faces of the killers all over the newspapers and television shows and the internet.

When the asshole (or assholes) who detonated the bombs in Boston are captured, give them their trial. Once they are tried and found guilty, I say we throw them in a prison, lock the door and throw away the key. Literally drop the key into a grate and forget they’re there. No food, no windows, no contact with the outside world. And that would be that. Is it barbaric? I don’t know…no more barbaric than what they have done. No more barbaric than electrocuting them or injecting their bodies with a drug that will allow them to die peacefully. And it wouldn’t cost us anything. And once they’ve passed, burn their bodies and that would be that. But here’s the catch…the only ones that are allowed to see the face or faces of the people who did this are the ones whose lives have been turned upside down. Only the families of Martin Richard, the 8-year old who was killed in the Boston bombing, and the other 2 families of the deceased should be allowed to see the killer’s face. As a public forum, I believe all we need to know is that the killer has been brought to justice and then leave it be. Because, by pasting the picture of the Adam Lanza’s of the world all over every media outlet in the world, we are enabling other idiots who have similar thoughts.

Want to be famous? Make a statement? Teach others how TERRIBLE you can be? Kill others and become famous. Your face will forever be remembered by millions and then you will live forever!

Think I’m wrong? I can guarantee you this thought is one that EVERY mass murderer has had. It’s in our DNA to WANT to be accepted. We WANT to be famous. Just turn on your tv and you see it everywhere! Everyone wants their 15 minutes of fame! Whether it’s getting hit in the face with a pie, singing karaoke on one of the gazillion musical tryouts posing as entertainment or even scoring your own 23 minute show by being a redneck, we ALL want to be famous! So…what better way to get attention quickly than by killing the innocent?

Obviously there are more psychological issues to it than that but at the root of it, I believe the need to be important drives ALL of these mass killings. Whether it’s al Qaeda, Jimmy Hoffa, or Timothy McVeigh, it’s all about attention.

I say we don’t give it to them.

Turn off the televisions. Stop posting the pictures. Once they’ve been tried, throw them in a dark room and call it a day. If anything, this will serve as a warning to anyone else having the thought of killing someone that it doesn’t matter what you do or how many you kill, you will NOT be immortalized. Whoever set off the bombs in downtown Boston should never be seen again. Once the FBI and the CIA and the local police departments corner the coward who decided it was a good idea to do such a horrific thing, they should be tried and then, upon the vote of a jury, if found guilty, they should be left to rot without a roar but with a whimper.

Will this stop it from happening again? I don’t know. But it might cause someone who has a horrible idea to pause and consider their actions. You WON’T be famous. You WON’T be immortalized. You WILL disappear without a trace. And we, as a society, as a community, as a united body, will move forward. We will deal with the grief and the pain. We will deal with the anger and the confusion. But we will move forward and eventually, we will forget you and remember only those that died because of you.

It’s maybe not a perfect plan, I admit…but it’s better than what we’re doing at this point. Well…at least it is in my opinion. And that and a nickel will get you very little these days…

ADDITIONAL THOUGHT: After taking a few moments to consider this post, I had another thought. Maybe, instead of posting pictures of the killers, we post photos of those that were killed in their wake. In this way, we will always remember those innocents who were killed in senseless acts of terror. To honor this idea, here are a few of those that I wish to remember on this day…

MAY THEY NEVER BE FORGOTTEN

Destin 2013

Our vacation to Destin, FL was EXACTLY what I needed during this busy time of year. Ok…it was EXACTLY what my wife and my kids needed also and I think I can say that it was perfect for us in every way. We got a chance to lay at the beach, do a lot of swimming, spent some time with friends, hit the links and do a little outlet mall shoppin’. Here are some photos of our trip and I think you can tell by the smiles that everyone had a really good time!